Post # 1
SORRY FOR MY RANTING… but,
So I was at the apartment gym and after walking 4MPH for 45min (and extremely irritated and sweaty because this is the second time I have excersized in at least 2 years) I ran into an old man. A scrawny old man trying to weight lift. I knew he was trouble as soon as I saw him. (I have seen him around the apartment and he wears nice clothes / weight lifting clothes so he isn’t a bumb) But he had that sort of “creap” vibe about him.
Anyways, he stops me and first asked me if I had a disability. Apparently people who run on treadmills instead of outside on a nice day and not up a mountain have disabilities. I tried to explain to him that I run on the treadmill so I know how far, the exact time, and speed I am excersizing for but he totally ignored me and kept talking. So then he started talking to me about mountains that I should be excersizing on and one day he would take me and we could excersize together. THEN he saw my ring and asked me if I was married. I told him I was engaged so he started telling me I am “too pretty and young to wear an engagment ring.” He started creaping me out and said that “if he was my age he would be mad I was taken becuase I was so pretty.” I find this very offensive and almost a sexual offence. But the worst thing he said was “it is unnatractive that a pretty girl like you is getting married. all it shows is you want his money” No old man should talk like this to a girl half his age or keep telling them how pretty they are. It seemed like he was attracted to me in some creapy way. But was harrasing me at the same time and being rude. I have never even talked to this man in my life.
I hate to say this, but I am scared to go back to the gym now incase he is there. I texted Nathan (who is at work atm) about what happened and I am going to talk to him about it. I feel like I need to take some karate classes now.
Should I just brush it off since he was an old guy? Or is this something serious? Becuase I still feel unsettled.
Post # 3
I’d be inclined to talk to management at the gym. You’re paying to use their facility, in a safe and comfy environment. Yucky! I’d be unsettled, alright, but that said, you most likely have nothing to fear, so to speak. He’s certainly creepy, but surely not dangerous.
Post # 4
Ew. There are some older folks out there that think they can do whatever they want because they’re old. I’d say see if you can go with someone else to the gym, and if you go again and go alone, tell him he’s out of line like you would with any other jerk.
Post # 5
Few things here:
He may be totally unaware of what he is saying. It could be a generational thing where his day, men talked to women like that all the time. He may have meant no harm.
Sounds like you were in a confined space; he was offending you; he wasn’t respecting your boundaries and yes, he was being super rude. It sounds like you felt crowded, disrespected, nervous and anxious. All valid feelings.
Maybe you might consider speaking the apartment manager about this. Something tells me you’re probably not the first person he has made uncomfortable. Not sure how proactive management is, but maybe they can send out a general bulletin asking that tenants be respectful to others while using the facilities.
Post # 6
Gross. Talk to management. If he’s as bad as you say, I doubt you’d be the first.
Post # 7
Haha my thought is that if you TRUELY wanted some ones money, you’d be going after an old man, not someone around your age. Isn’t that what suger daddies are for?
Post # 8
Eww! I would tell management, too. That’s just not okay, no matter how old he is.
Post # 9
@ceamoste: haha that’s a great point!
Post # 10
I agree with all of you – I will definately tell managment! I wouldn’t be surprised if he harrased one of the young ladies working as managment! But I could definately see him as another man who bothers other women. It is just so akward becuase I don’t want to be mean to anyone.
I didn’t think of telling managment becuase I didn’t know you could complain about something like that. Thanks! 🙂
Post # 11
The thing that really rubs me the wrong way is how he’s passing judgements on you because of your age and you wearing an engagement ring. How rude! Definitely go report him. I suspect it’s not the first time he may have offended someone judging from the way you described his actions.
Post # 12
Calling it a generational misunderstanding is simply encouraging his behavior to continue to become worse. Speak to the manager, immediately. If he is talking like this to you chances are he is doing it to others as well.
If this happens again, calmly tell him that you do not wish to speak with him. If he continues to speak with you walk away and find the manager, who should already be informed from your previously complaint about him. If he persists tell him that you are calling the police. At that note, keep your cell phone with you at all times.
Do not excuse his behavior based on his age. Age does not give ANYONE the right to harass another person.
Post # 13
ew ew ew! creepy old men are so disturbing! where does he get off? (in the gym, apparantly!) ok, bad joke. seriously, call management. you pay rent. you shouldn’t have to feel scared to go anywhere because a creep is lurking around offending young women.
Post # 14
Yeah, definately talk to the management at your gym.
Also, you probably know this, but you don’t have to talk to him. You’d don’t owe him an explination about why you walk on a treadmill instead of running up mountains or whatever. He has no right to ask about your martial status or comment on your age. My advice would be to ignore him if you see him again – even if he talks to you. Wear headphones and turn them up if he starts talking. Yeah, it’s rude, but you don’t owe it to him to be polite. Just because someone talks to you doesn’t mean you need to respond.
(I know I sound like a bi**h, but honestly, giving myself permission to ignore men who set off my creep radar is one of the best things I’ve ever done for myself).
Post # 15
@thepinktyrant: Don’t worry about being “mean”. He obviously didn’t care how he was treating you.
Post # 16
It sounds like this guy has something wrong with him. Stay away from him. You could start running outside to avoid him. Maybe talk to your property managment. You need to feel safe in your apt building.