Weddingbee boards

(sorry this is horribly long)

Dear bees,

You have always been there when I needed wedding-related help (and have always had the best advice), so now I am looking for help for something completely different. 

My in laws have an amazing dog that they've come to despise for no reason. He is a chocolate lab that they got from the pet store when he was a puppy- he is now about 10, maybe 11 years old (they can't remember, they say). He is one of the kindest, gentlest, friendliest, and sweetest dogs ever. 

They used to treat him ok enough, but then FI's younger sister, who lives in the same house, had a baby (who I adore). After that they started banning Hershey from the upstairs, then the kitchen, the living room, the family room, etc. until they finally kept him locked up in the garage (he lived indoors all his life). And he had never ever posed a threat to the baby- if anything he made sure to always stay out of the way, and was so gentle and patient when she was around- even when the baby grew older and decided he was fun to tug on, pinch, poke, and prod (which I hated and tried to stop, but no one else in the house cared). He was always sooo patient. 

Now the baby is 2.5 years old and the last few years my in-laws have completely neglected the dog. He goes for a walk maybe once every few months (unless I can get over there, which I try as much as possible, but don't live very close). No one ever plays with him, talks to him, or pets him. They yell at him all the freakin' time and call him names that he doesn't deserve. I don't remember the last time anyone has said or done anything lovingly towards him. He has started barking (dying for attention I'm sure), so they keep the poor thing muzzled up all day in the side yard (he has cuts and scars from the muzzle being so tight), and now I hear that they've been forgetting to feed him, so you can see his ribs. He is normally very energetic, healthy, and happy dog, but looks ill from not being treated right (and they are using the "oh he's a sick, dumb dog" thing as a bad excuse to why they don't give him any attention).

He looks miserable, but gets so happy when he sees someone that cares (like myself). I went to go sit with him outside one day when he was filthy from the rain and dirt, and he laid next to me, slipped one arm under me, and one over me, and sat like that for an hour, like he was hugging me. It was crazy. He's so smart- he found crevices in the backyard where he can slip in the ball that I gave him so that it will roll and he can chase it. He taught himself how to play ball when he is all alone (which is all of the time)!

I don't know what to do. This has been a great source of tension with us over the last few years. I've tried biting my tongue for the sake of our relationship and my husband (who feels caught in the middle and wants no part in this), but I can't hold it in any longer.  If it weren't for this situation I would get along wonderfully with my in-laws. Aside from this, they are very kind, loving, generous people which is why this makes no sense to me. FIL has gotten to the point where he purposely does things to make me upset because he knows that the situation saddens me. He'll randomly say things like, "why don't you take the dog for a long drive and make sure you lose him." This dog has done nothing wrong and does nothing at all to bother anyone, and yet they seem bitter, angry, and resentful towards him. Last year they found what they thought (wrongly, thank God) was a tumor in his face- and all they complained about was about what a hassle it was going to be to take him to the vet, and about how it was going to cost money (but they seemed strangely relieved at the situation, because they said that "every dog has to die and maybe it's his time"). I have tried searching for people to adopt him, but have failed, and the in-laws keep on discouraging me from trying, which I think is odd. 

Now they are moving (to possibly a bigger house in the same neighborhood, nonetheless) and are using it as an excuse to put him to sleep or take him to a shelter, which will most likely do the same thing. So now I HAVE to find him a home in the next month or two and I need help desperately. 

They said he's just an animal and a "dumb, old dog" and I know many out there will agree. I have never been much of an animal lover, I swear, but my pet peeve is people who don't treat others they way they should, ESPECIALLY helpless creatures like children and animals. I think that this situation has showed me more about their character than anything else over the last 6 years and I have completely lost respect for them. The fact that they have raised this dog for a decade and suddenly decided that they just don't want it anymore is irresponsible, lazy, and selfish. And the fact that they don't even have the decency to really try to find him a good home (which forces others to do it for them) is, I think, irresponsible, lazy, and selfish. It is just not ok. Is it normal to feel so angry towards them? Maybe I'm losing perspective?

The apartment that my new husband and I moved to doesn't allow dogs that size and I don't who else will take a dog that age. How do I even attempt to find a loving home for him? Do I make flyers, post things online? Any tips for wording? Any tips at all?? I've never done this before. 

THANK YOU FOR LISTENING AND HELPING. It means the world to me. 

This post made me cry. Animals have feeling too. :(

I just wanted to add that DH (I keep calling him fiancé) and I signed our lease before we knew that his parents were moving. They are VERY strict here about only having very small dogs, and it's hard to do otherwise since our apartment is so tiny. In addition, DH travels and tours often for work and I sometimes have to go with him, which is why we don't have a pet in the first place- I refused to take any kind of pet in when I know I won't be able to provide the attention and time that it needs and deserves. BUT if it comes to the point where they are about to take him to the first shelter they find and i haven't found a home for him, I will definitely be smuggling him in here and staying in town until I can figure things out. I won't let that happen to him, I promise. 

Thank you so much for the wonderful suggestions. I really like the idea of talking to a vet, my family and I also agree that he may be great for a senior citizen. I'll def be doing that. 

My mom also suggested reporting them to an organization, which I have been tempted to do and would have already done if it was anyone else besides DH's immediate family, but I know they'll immediately know it was me, since I've been most vocal about this situation lately, and I know this will cause a ridiculous amount of problems and drama for my DH, so I'm trying to restrain myself. 

Yes, I def agree that he will not make it if he's placed in a regular shelter, which I've heard now seems to be their number 1 option. I actually did look into no-kill shelters- there is one in LA, but they are very selective and only take in very few animals. I think I'll apply anyway... does anyone know if these shelters are ok for a dog? He wouldn't just be in a small cage for the rest of his time there right? I hear they let them roam in special areas, but want to make sure this is true. 

I will def look into those websites posted, including the rescue organizations and the lab boards (didn't even know this existed!). 

THANK YOU for all of your time, words, and help. It is incredibly appreciated. 

Sorry if it was confusing, FI isn't the one that's joking about it- he would never do that, he knows how much it hurts me. It's my father in law (FIL). I'm so sorry for those that I made upset, don't worry I'll figure it out and I'll make a new post as soon as I do. I didn't realize that there were so many rescue agencies in the area, which is relieving to at least know. I'll be filling out applications this weekend and calling around first thing on Monday. Thank you so much.

Yes! They at one point considered getting another pet last year and I went off on them, like I would never normally do to future in laws. Told them how ridiculous that was, how they're not even capable of taking care of the pet that they already have, how they should not be a family that should ever be allowed to have pets, and that there is no way I could let them do it. That idea passed quickly anyway. But I swear, I'll be ensuring that they never have another pet in their home EVER. No freakin way. 

This just breaks my heart. A lot of PP have already given great suggestions, and I hope more than anything that you can find Hershey a great home that he deserves. Post on Petfinder, craigslist, maybe facebook, talk to a vet about the situation and ask advise on finding him a home, maybe talk to your landlord and see if you could give him a little extra every month to keep the dog, even if it's just for a little while, and let any and all of your friends and family know- even if they can just foster him for a short period of time until a more permanent home can be found. ANYTHING to keep him from being given to a kill shelter or put down. 

I don't think you're wrong at all for feeling the way that you do about your in-laws. I would too. I would even consider reporting them for animal cruelty at this point. Is FI upset about the treatment of Hershey, too?  There is just no excuse for treating any animal like that. You absolutely right that anyone who treats an animal that way, especially after treating him like a member of the family for so long, is seriously lacking in character. It seems to me like they are taking out other un-related frustratations out on the poor dog. I understand how difficult the situation must be especially for FI, but I would talk to him about it and really express how you feel- because if it were me, I wouldn't even want to be around those people. This kind of stuff pisses me off more than almost anything.  

I really feel for you, and I hope you find him a great new home. I'll be thinking of you and Hershey. Please keep us updated!