- Swoontobee Mrs.G
- 6 years ago
- Wedding: November 2011
(sorry this is horribly long)
You have always been there when I needed wedding-related help (and have always had the best advice), so now I am looking for help for something completely different.
My in laws have an amazing dog that they’ve come to despise for no reason. He is a chocolate lab that they got from the pet store when he was a puppy- he is now about 10, maybe 11 years old (they can’t remember, they say). He is one of the kindest, gentlest, friendliest, and sweetest dogs ever.
They used to treat him ok enough, but then FI’s younger sister, who lives in the same house, had a baby (who I adore). After that they started banning Hershey from the upstairs, then the kitchen, the living room, the family room, etc. until they finally kept him locked up in the garage (he lived indoors all his life). And he had never ever posed a threat to the baby- if anything he made sure to always stay out of the way, and was so gentle and patient when she was around- even when the baby grew older and decided he was fun to tug on, pinch, poke, and prod (which I hated and tried to stop, but no one else in the house cared). He was always sooo patient.
Now the baby is 2.5 years old and the last few years my in-laws have completely neglected the dog. He goes for a walk maybe once every few months (unless I can get over there, which I try as much as possible, but don’t live very close). No one ever plays with him, talks to him, or pets him. They yell at him all the freakin’ time and call him names that he doesn’t deserve. I don’t remember the last time anyone has said or done anything lovingly towards him. He has started barking (dying for attention I’m sure), so they keep the poor thing muzzled up all day in the side yard (he has cuts and scars from the muzzle being so tight), and now I hear that they’ve been forgetting to feed him, so you can see his ribs. He is normally very energetic, healthy, and happy dog, but looks ill from not being treated right (and they are using the “oh he’s a sick, dumb dog” thing as a bad excuse to why they don’t give him any attention).
He looks miserable, but gets so happy when he sees someone that cares (like myself). I went to go sit with him outside one day when he was filthy from the rain and dirt, and he laid next to me, slipped one arm under me, and one over me, and sat like that for an hour, like he was hugging me. It was crazy. He’s so smart- he found crevices in the backyard where he can slip in the ball that I gave him so that it will roll and he can chase it. He taught himself how to play ball when he is all alone (which is all of the time)!
I don’t know what to do. This has been a great source of tension with us over the last few years. I’ve tried biting my tongue for the sake of our relationship and my husband (who feels caught in the middle and wants no part in this), but I can’t hold it in any longer. If it weren’t for this situation I would get along wonderfully with my in-laws. Aside from this, they are very kind, loving, generous people which is why this makes no sense to me. Father-In-Law has gotten to the point where he purposely does things to make me upset because he knows that the situation saddens me. He’ll randomly say things like, “why don’t you take the dog for a long drive and make sure you lose him.” This dog has done nothing wrong and does nothing at all to bother anyone, and yet they seem bitter, angry, and resentful towards him. Last year they found what they thought (wrongly, thank God) was a tumor in his face- and all they complained about was about what a hassle it was going to be to take him to the vet, and about how it was going to cost money (but they seemed strangely relieved at the situation, because they said that “every dog has to die and maybe it’s his time”). I have tried searching for people to adopt him, but have failed, and the in-laws keep on discouraging me from trying, which I think is odd.
Now they are moving (to possibly a bigger house in the same neighborhood, nonetheless) and are using it as an excuse to put him to sleep or take him to a shelter, which will most likely do the same thing. So now I HAVE to find him a home in the next month or two and I need help desperately.
They said he’s just an animal and a “dumb, old dog” and I know many out there will agree. I have never been much of an animal lover, I swear, but my pet peeve is people who don’t treat others they way they should, ESPECIALLY helpless creatures like children and animals. I think that this situation has showed me more about their character than anything else over the last 6 years and I have completely lost respect for them. The fact that they have raised this dog for a decade and suddenly decided that they just don’t want it anymore is irresponsible, lazy, and selfish. And the fact that they don’t even have the decency to really try to find him a good home (which forces others to do it for them) is, I think, irresponsible, lazy, and selfish. It is just not ok. Is it normal to feel so angry towards them? Maybe I’m losing perspective?
The apartment that my new husband and I moved to doesn’t allow dogs that size and I don’t who else will take a dog that age. How do I even attempt to find a loving home for him? Do I make flyers, post things online? Any tips for wording? Any tips at all?? I’ve never done this before.
THANK YOU FOR LISTENING AND HELPING. It means the world to me.