NWR: 'It's probably a good thing that you have to abort.'

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
2299 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

@MrsRs:  I am SO so sorry. I don’t even know what else to say. I can’t believe she would think that it’s ok to say something like that to you, with everything you are already dealing with… Ugh. You’ll be in my thoughts.

Post # 4
2851 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Wow; I am so sorry. What she said is inexcusable. That said, be thankful that your family is so supportive.

Good luck to you. Sending good thoughts and prayers.

Post # 5
1055 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

You are a really brave person. Who knows what she was thinking. You have all my support through this tough time. Sending good vibes.

Post # 6
3406 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

I’m so sorry you’re going through this! You are doing what is best for you and your MIL’s comment was quite unsympathetic. This is hard enough for you without her making it worse. Do your best to ignore her unless she is more positive and work on staying strong! You’re going to get through this and come out a champion 🙂 I’ll be praying for you ((HUGS))

Post # 7
3570 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

What a thoughtless, ignorant woman.  I am so sorry for everything you are dealing with.   

Post # 8
1067 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

OMG… First off, I am so terribly sorry 🙁

Secondly – even if ‘her heart was in the right place’, that is one of the most incredibly callous things I have ever read.  She shouldn’t try to explain further, she should write you a heartfelt apology letter, and give you time to decide how you want to deal with her. 

Post # 9
7531 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

@MrsRs:  I am so doubly-sorry.  Some people are just so crazy and have no filter.  I am sorry for such insensitivity-especially from a family member.  Just remember the (stupid) source for who it is.  I wish you well, sending prayers and light and protection  for you in your darkest moments.  Hugs.  

Post # 10
1340 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Ugh, I am so sorry! What a witch!! 

What a gut-wrenching decision. It’s the same one I would have made. Hugs.

Post # 11
904 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

@MrsRs: Wow. First of all, I am so sorry for your loss and truly hope that everything goes well with your treatment. I can’t imagine having to make such a difficult decision and what a battle you have in front of you. It sounds like you have an amazing partner who is very supportive. Second of all, your MIL is a f*cking moron. I just want to slap her. Seriously. It sounds like you’re doing the best thing possible in such an f*cked up situation– ignoring her and trying to minimize the stress that she’s causing. Good for both of you for leaving when she made those comments rather than enabling her ridiculousness. Ugh, I just cannot believe the close-mindedness of people! Again, I’m sorry OP and you are a much better person that I would be to that woman!   

Post # 12
4576 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@MrsRs:  Pardon my use of the term, but what a cunt. How incredibly horrific a thing to say to a cancer patient much less one who is having to have an abortion. What in the actual fuck is wrong with her? Good for the two of you for getting up and leaving. I’ll be honest: no matter what she said, I wouldnt have a huge desire to talk to her anymore.

I am so very sorry for what you are going through.

Post # 13
609 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2013


I would have LOST MY MIND ON HER! You have CANCER and thats what she thinks about?!? Honestly I would never speak to that woman EVER again. I dont care who she is. That is so uncalled for and just plain NASTY!

I hope your hubby put her in her place. There are plenty of people who were not breast fed as babies (myself included) and turned out just fine.

Lean on your family for support. THEY have your best interests at heart. Clearly your MIL does not.

I cant believe how thoughtless people can be. Its just terrible. Best wishes to you!!! I wish you all the best to get through this rough time in your life. Stay strong. Your future babies will need you to!!!

Post # 14
1362 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - Turf Valley

Thoughts are with you.  That woman was so out of line it’s unbelievable.  She has no way to understand how difficult of a position both you and your husband are in, and how difficult the decision was.  It is inexcusable, and I would probably never be able to forgive her either.  

Post # 15
8818 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

I am so sorry to hear you are going through this.

Post # 16
9412 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@MrsRs:  That is a completely unfair statement. It’s not like you have a choice in the matter, and even if you did and chose to formula feed your baby, it is none of anyone’s business. I can’t believe the nerve of some people who think it is okay to pass judgement whenever they feel like it. Have you ever heard the phrase, consider the source? She sounds like a bitch. I wouldn’t worry about her opinion.

You can’t control other people, and you will drive yourself crazy if you try. But you can control your own reactions and as hard as it is, I wish you wouldn’t let this terrible woman get to you. Feeling anger and sadness because of her actions gives her all the power and makes you a victim. You have way more important things to focus on and I hope that she won’t be a thought in your head by tomorrow.

Best of luck with your recovery and I am so sorry for both of your losses – I imagine it is traumatizing to deal with the loss of your child AND your breasts. I don’t think either are trivial things to be dismissed so callously and I hope that you can focus on the good people in your life rather than the people who don’t deserve your time. I hope your husband does say something to his mother about this.

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