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Bees, this really really irritates me. Not only in real life BUT on here. It's getting very aggravating.
First I want to say that I am not bashing any body type WHAT SO EVER! I just want to get my feelings out there because I just don't think this is fair.
I know that full figured girls get slack for not being thin enough all over the media and in real life, and I do think that it is bogus. I don't think that fuller figured gals should get hate because of their bodies, they should be accepted and be told they are beautiful just as much as anyone else because they are. My feelings are however, that hate towards thin girls is rising as well and I find that the hate (not all) but a lot of it, is coming from fuller figured women, and I don't quite understand that. Why hate on someone who is opposite of you, when most have experienced hate for the way they look from other people?
On a dress thread I saw posted recently a person mentioned that dress models don't make the dresses look good because they are sickly skinny and don't fill out the dresses. (not the exact words but I don't want to point fingers exactly). But I take offense to this.
I weigh 100 lbs. I was born prematurely, only weighing 3lbs and I have always been underweight but super healthy. I find it frustrating that just because I am thin, that I can't be just as beautiful as everyone else, and can't look as amazing as someone who "fills out a dress". Sorry, I wasn't blessed with boobs or a bigger butt, although I would LOVE to have those to fill out my gown, doesn't mean that my stick thin frame can't look great in my dress!
All my life I have been called skinny minny, have been accused of being anorexic, have been teased and been called chicken legs. I just think that in real life, or the bee, people need to watch what they say concerning other people's body types. REGARDLESS of whether or not one was talking about dress models, that person needs to realize that there are people in the real world, like me, who look like those dress models and who are that thin.
Being called sickly skinny is just as hurtful as someone being called fat. So please, respect all shapes and sizes and do not point out how "bad" someone looks compared to another person. Thanks.
I agree. I really dislike the posts where they talk abotu how those skinny models, aren;t " real" figures. While I do know they are photoshopped, many women are really skinny in real life. It sucks that people have to talk down different shapes, when all shapes are beautiful.
I agree with you ladies, I did every bride is beautiful in their gown. I have never seen an ugly bride. There was thread recently that talked about this but I guests people forget.
I'm agreeing~ THANK YOU to heyitssamyrae for being brave enough to post this. I've dealt with this my entire life (I commented on the "skinny model" thread as well) and the hatred I've recieved in public seems almost acceptable to others, b/c the assumption is that I want to be this thin, that I starve myself or otherwise harm myself to be this thin, and that I have no right to complain. I didn't develop hips or a butt or boobs and no matter how much I eat, I am never going to have them. I think we all need to stop assuming and start looking beyond the superficial.
I've been on both sides of the issue, and both sides suck equally. I was super, super-skinny all the way up until I was about 21, at which point my thyroid royally crapped out on me and I gained 25 lbs seemingly overnight. Being called "skinny" isn't really hurtful; it's the assumption that there is something WRONG with you that really hurts. And now that I'm on the curvier side of things, I can tell you that it hurts to have people assume heavier = unhealthy. My point is, assumptions are present on both sides, and they hurt equally (though I'd rather be called skinny than be called fat, if we're being 100% honest). I wish people would stop putting so much weight--no pun intended--on the numbers on the scale or what a woman's body looks like. Every body shape, size, and type is beautiful, and no one should be made to feel bad--or make others feel bad--for it.
I can absolutely relate.
I've been underweight almost my entire life. Still working on gaining weight for the wedding, but trying to make sure I'm doing it for *me,* not because the rest of the world looks at me and sees my body as not normal, not big enough, not good enough. I liked the way my body looked better when I weighed about 15 pounds more than I do now, and I felt much more comfortable and confident, so that's why I'm trying to get back there.
It really irks me when people make comments about thin women not being "real" women. It gave me a major inferiority complex in my pre-and-teen years. Though I don't condone women trying to force themselves to be unnaturally thin, I think it's important for people to realize that for a lot of women, "abnormally" thin IS natural for their body type. And they are often made to feel just as unaccepted as women on the other end of the spectrum who are overweight. Perhaps even moreso, since I would argue that the majority of people are either at an average-looking healthy weight, or are overweight. Being in the minority (underweight or appearing to be underweight) makes people judge you more I think.
I have been both stick thin and now fat. I remember being called a twig, bony, flat chested ect and being told I could blow away on a breeze.
My mom used to tell me that my face could cut glass and I should gain weight in it. :/
but I have to say...I would love to be stick thin again no matter what ppl called me cuz either way I'll have a label and I know from being both I'd rather be thought of/told I was sickly thin than a fat pig.
In the end yes ppl should be more sensitive to others and not call names. Unfortunately this will never change. I's just the way society is.
thanks for the support ladies! And I could put in words all that you have said as well becuase I agree with it all. It's insane, just absolutely insane. Thin women so exist NATURALLY, whether people want to believe it or not. Not all of us can gain weight, it's as simple as that.
@Mrs Grape: Oh man, can I relate to you on the thyroid problems... it's been a super tough road. I also feel bad for people that want to (advised by a doctor to) but can't gain a pound even by trying to, my godmother cannot gain weight and I know she has a hardship dealing with it. She's even had tons of milkshakes and other nonfriendly for the waist treats and not even a pound gained. It's a no win situation for both sides most of the time.
@heyitssamyrae: this is me exactly. i still get comments on a daily basis about it. Shut up already.... i look in the mirror everyday, i know im skinny, i cant help it lmao. alot of ppl dont understand that being called "skinny"names like that is just as hurtful. thanks for posting this!
@RR: It's damn depressing. I used to be one of those "eat anything and not gain a pound" girls, and now I look at food and gain weight, it seems.
i am a fuller figured lady, i don't really see people for their size, admitidly i sometimes think, i wish i had her figure, but that said i couldn't care less what a stranger or even fellow bee thought of my weight, my fi, family and friends love me just the way i am, i was looking through a posts of everyones dresses earlier i just saw beautiful dresses and beautiful brides. it is a shame people are critisied for the way they look, but most of it in my opinon is jelousy, wanting something we don't have whether that be a bigger bust, flater stomach, curvy bottom, anything bigger or smaller, but i would never critisize anyone, for the way the look. we are all on this site for one reason to share our weddings with each other, we should keep it that way, it's a stressful enough time we are all having why make it worse for each other
good post and i agree well done for being brave enought to post it
I agree no one should be picked on for their size, but as a full figured gal, society definitely seems to accept the thinner women before the bigger women. Or at least openly mock them less. I don't get the obsession either way!
@heyitssamyrae: I totally agree with what you said. Those models are people too- but sometimes they really are photoshopped to an unrealistic proportion and that is very frustrating to see! It looks like they're 6'9 with double D's and perfect hips and waist lines!! That's what kills me!
I think people lash out and attack those different from themselves when they're insecure, it's sad. It also sucks that there are girls who really are anorexic and bulimic making all the other thin women look bad. Sorry you have to go through that, I'm sorry for everyone who gets judged based on appearance for that matter.
I just love me some bees, all sizes and shapes <3
I think it's one of those "the grass is greener on the other side" sort of things :-(. I've always been on the overweight side. In the past, I have had self confidence issues, thinking no guy would ever like me because I'm a size 16. I have now realized that if that's why they don't like me, then they are not worth my time (plus, how are they going to feel when I am pregnant?).
I've never thought about it from the OP's point of view. I wouldn't like being called any derogatory name. I will be honest, I get frustrated when a girl says that she is so fat, but makes it obvious that she's fishing for a compliment.
I don't think I have ever made any comments to a slender friend's size, but this conversation will definitely prevent any possible future ones! We all have things we dislike about ourselves. I always say that out of 100 comments, if 99 were positive and 1 was negative, I would put more stock in that one negative comment than the 99 positive ones. Time to change some thinking!
@heyitssamyrae: I hope in 20 years you will be saying that..." Thin women so exist NATURALLY, whether people want to believe it or not. Not all of us can gain weight, it's as simple as that."
It was just 7 years ago that I was that thin and thought the same thing.
pic of me 7 years ago at age 35. I'm the brunette on the botton. You can't see my body but my collar bones give you an idea.
me at 21 after I had my baby! again can't really see my body but you can see how my clothes are falling off me. I'm the one on the left. 
as you can see I was skinny my whole life and never thought I would gain any weight. Well...7 years of aging and depression can change all that. There are pics of me now at 42 on this board 70 pounds heavier.
I hope you will stay "naturally thin" forever.
I stand by what I said eariler. I would rather be called any derogatory skinny name and be skinny than be fat like I am now.
@KatyElle: And men in general... I remember on a dating website some guy had "Do not contact me if you are over 150 pounds". All that says is, stay far far away from this man no matter what your weight is! I understand if you like a certain type... that's what attracts you, but c'mon - that was pretty bad because I then think he went to declare that was "obese" (his words not mine).
Just out of curiosity and I'm not trying to be snarky, but would like to hear any experiences-- Do men pick on skinny girls like they do full figure? (Ack, that may be threadjacking- sorry OP! Disregard).
Hmm I think I know the post you were referring to and I took it to mean that sometimes they put the wrong dress on the wrong model but I didn't read the whole post. (Sorry I admittedly just skim some posts!) I do think that sometimes dresses look better on a girl other than the model. Some dresses look best on a very svelte figure. Some dresses look best on a pear shape, apple shape, hourglass, etc. Some manufactures use just one or two models for their whole line when they designed it with a different body type in mind. (Perplexing but true!) Some dresses you need boobs and a butt to rock and other dresses look best without. That is why there are so many different dresses out there. You don't need to alter yourself to fit a dress. You need to find the dress that fits you.
OP I am sorry you have felt belittled and I apologize if I have ever said anything to make you feel that way. I honestly don't recall. I think women are beautiful no matter their shape or size. I hope you find/have found the dress that fits your fab figure the best 
@RR: Honesty I used to weight 65 pounds less than I do now, and men can be really REALLY harsh with fuller figured women. I've been called things I was shocked by. When I was thin, men held doors and complimented me.
I honestly don't give too much of a shit because DH and DD love me as I am, but it hurts. And as someone who has been on both sides of the weight spectrum, society in general is a lot harder on women who are overweight. It's just facts.
I know this opinion is unpopular, because I know people can be hurt thin or full figured, but sometimes I liken this to pretty people complaining that people discriminate against them because they are good looking. I kind of feel like I'd rather have that problem than be society's version of ugly and deal with those insults.
I totally agree that anyone telling anyone that they don't look "right" is effed up. Like someone said earlier, it sucks to be told that something is wrong with the way you look, no matter what it is.
That said, I don't think that criticizing the media-complex that creates ridiculously distorted images of what the "ideal woman" should look like is equivalent to criticizing all women who are naturally thin.
When I am critical of the way a woman looks in an ad, I am almost always actually being critical of the post-production genius who photoshopped her thighs to be smaller than her neck. EVERYTHING is photoshopped (ahem, usually by men) and those images aren't natural at all.
If I heard someone say about a real bride at her wedding or in a photograph, "UGH, she's so skinny, she looks awful in that dress," I'd pop em one. That's unacceptable. It's also something I've never heard though.
@KatyElle: I've gained 60 pounds and it's been SO hard. I'm very lucky because FI has loved me as well no matter what! I've gained all that weight during our dating and he's supported me and loved me so much if not more. I've never been a super skinny girl. I've lost 30 pounds so far, a lot more to go. But yes, men were pretty harsh and I think I weighed about 150ish when I was single. At the end of the day, I knew I never wanted to be with that - but it still hurt.
I've had shitty comments from females, too. It was after my thyroid surgery and I wore a size 12 dress to a wedding (fit perfectly, not tight) and some biatch in the bathroom looked me up and down and said she'd never wear that dress at my weight. It was just a normal dress, wtf. People can be so cruel.
And that's all I've ever experienced is rude comments that size 12, 14, ect is overweight so I'm curious to read this thread for other perspectives on others struggles.
@luvmyDwight: I have to agree.
I agree with everyone being called anything that is tied to an assumption or draws attention to something a person doesnt like is not fun.
However being "naturally thin" for most people really is the same as being "naturally fat". It really does come down to behaviors and habits, not really metabolism
"A 2010 study cited by the Endocrine Society found that naturally skinny individuals did not experience an increased metabolism after eating more calories than their bodies needed. The study results suggest that naturally skinny people are likely different in terms of the characteristics of the foods they eat and also how physically active they are. Physical activity does increase metabolism, helping you born more calories, even when at rest."
http://www.livestrong.com/article/268812-how-to-be-naturally-skinny/
http://www.endo-society.org/media/ENDO-08/research/Why-dont-thin-people-gain-weight.cfm
Look, I get that some women are very thin, but that has nothing to do with saying models don't look "real"....sorry, they are not "real" looking and that has very little to do with their waist measurements.
The air brushed skin, perfect air-lifted C/D breasts despite having no descerable body fat, zero celulite, and a body contorted in a way no normal persons does...sorry, that is not real. I see models in real life, they are scary thin and usually kept that way by a steady diet of uppers (or natural speed), cigarettes and very little food. They don't look like the pictures in the magazines, they look like refugees (not because they are thin, but because they are not healthy and they kept thin by destroying their true bodies.) Someone on a computer changed that sickly woman into an image that is supposedly aspirational, they nixed the orange peel on their thighs, removed a few petruding ribs to slim the waist line, lost the bags under their eyes and added strategic shading to make their non existant breasts suddenly a perfectly pert pair of Cs. The result? When a woman is actually the size of a model in real life doesn't look "sexy" like her pictures. So naturally, she is now "too thin" and "anorexic." We create a vicious cycle of women never feeling like they look "right." And, suffice to say, we create a lot of angry women all around who feel duped and set up for failure.
While this is not a problem I have, I can only imagine how much it must suck to be a super skinny girl and to look at a model and go "Why don't I look like that?" and to have the rest of the world tell you that you are too thin, too boney to be beautiful...all the while knowing that those images of "beautiful" women are all manipulated images of women who are just as boney, just as thin and not because their metabolism is on fire, but because they don't actually consume more than 800 calories a day. Being the "ideal" and yet never feeling beautiful is the ugly reality of world with a fucked up image of beauty.
My point is that these images do just as much damage to thin women as they do to large women, because most real women who are that thin do NOT look like model pictures, and they can have just as many body issues because of that.
All us "real girls" of all sizes and shapes need to unite and realize that it is easy to hate on models in advertising because they are skinny as heck, but that isn't what is wrong with them. What is wrong with them is that NO WOMAN LOOKS LIKE THAT NO MATTER HOW SKINNY SHE IS.
EDIT: Sorry, Mods, for my language, but there really is no other word for something that makes every woman feel so bad about themselves for no reason but "fucked up."
@RR: I don't take that as thread jacking, I just know you are curious. From personal experience, I have had boyfriends in the past, and even just guys that I was around on a daily basis in school etc, that made rude comments about my body type. I know that men can be harsh towards fuller figured gals, but they can also hate on thinner women who don't have boobs and curves as well. I got a lot of crap from guys growing up because I didn't have boobs like all the other girls in my class, and it hurt me so insanely bad, because when you're a teen you are already self contious because you don't know who you are yet. Now, I am comfortable with my body 100%. Sometimes I wish that my boobs were a little bigger, but my FI loves them the way they are and that's all that matters to me! lol So I really think that the physical stuff from men can go both ways.
@RR: I had two guy roommates and we'd go to the gym together, one would say all the even remotely thin girls were 'too skinny' and another thought anything over a B cup was just 'disgustingly jiggly'. It was always funny to listen to. I'm guessing theres just as many people who prefer wavey ladies as thin mints and just as many guys who would insult the type they don't like- unfortunately!
I hear you on this. I'm around 100 lbs too (5'5"ish tall) and fairly healthy, but all my life I've been called anorexic, "skinny minny" (thought I was the only one who ever got called that!), every time I go clothes shopping the people in the stores say "oh you could probably shop in the little girl's section, you're so tiny!" (umm thanks but I'm 22 years old, I don't think I'll be shopping in anything but the womens' petite section). At a particular store I actually wear a size 6 in their tops and one time I asked the fitting room attendant to get me a bigger size (I had brought in a 4, needed a 6) and she looked at me and said something like "Oh please! You, a bigger size?" Um. Yes. Thanks. Wedding dress shopping was particularly annoying in this regard.
In one of the "post the model pic, and then the pic of you in your dress" threads I posted in, someone told me, with the best of intentions (and I do know she had good intentions and I'm not holding this against her) that I looked just like my dress's model. I know it was supposed to be a compliment, but this was in a thread where everyone was tearing apart how skinny and bony the models were and how awful the dresses look on them...and I get told I look like one. Meh.
It is a double standard. I know I hate it when people comment on my body size- no matter what size it is.
I think people generally feel that "thin is in" so they will call you things like "skinny minnie" or comment on your bones sticking out, etc. I guess they think they are complimenting you. But if you are feeling insecure about your body type, then you're not going to take it as a compliment.
I would be more than happy to give you some of my butt and my boobs if it were a practical (and not totally weird) procedure! :D
I like this post!
I have been thick my whole life and haven't gotten much flack for it, but I also don't really care what people say/think. If you don't like it, then don't look. I also dress appropriately for my size and feel comfortable doing so.
I think that less importance needs to be put on size. Everyone likes something different and for every woman, there is a man (or woman) that thinks she is the most beautiful thing on earth. If we all looked exactly the same, this world would be pretty freakin boring.
For me it hasn't been so much that people say hurtful things, but that they think they have the right to comment on my body at all. As long as I'm healthy and not harming myself, then it's nobody's business but mine. I'm in my weight range for my height, but most of my weight is in muscle in my legs and stomach, so I look tinier than I am. This causes people to constantly talk about how "small and underweight" I must be, when this is not the case. My FI even told me twice I needed to "work out my arms because they were so small". I ignored it until he said it the second time and said "I don't comment on your body, if you continue to comment on mine I'm going to start becoming insulted" and he dropped it thankfully with an "Oh, really? I'm so sorry, I didn't realize", but some people just don't get the hint so easy.
I have always been plus sized and my older sister has always been super skinny. We are full-blooded sisters and couldn't be more different body-wise. She has always had a worse self-image than I have when it comes to body issues although I will say I have received a lot more social discrimination in my days than she has. Growing up with my sister though, I always knew that even skinny girls had body issues. She was always just so self-conscious about her nobby-knees and being so skinny. She just turned 40 and, even after 3 kids, is still a size zero or two and is finally embracing her body. She can rock short skirts like nobody's business and I'm happy she's doing it! We are all given certain genes and it is up to us to own them and be proud of it!
Thanks for pointing this out! I am 20 years old, 5'0" on a good day and 88 lbs. Yes, that's the correct number. I have never had an eating disorder, never had any sort of surgery, or have any medical condition. I was just born this way. I've walked through the super market and had women actually scolding me for having an eating disorder! I think that women of every shape and size are beautiful, including mine.
@In the media: Lol, you sound like me! I have a friend who's less than size 00 and she always envies my curves while I envy how slim she is... I told her we could even each other out and both be average, haha.
@heyitssamyrae et al: I totally understand your aggrvation! I'm also small (5'0'', 100lb) and it's frustrating for people to make comments about my weight. I once had a customer at work ask me if I ever ate, and I have an acquantance at work who constantly tells me that I need to eat more because I'm not big enough.
IMO, it is never appropriate to comment about someone's size! And please, don't assume that just because I'm smaller than you that I don't have any body image issues.
And, don't get me started about how hard it is to find clothes. There are so many stores that cater to fuller women (Lane Bryant, Catherines, etc), but where are the stores specifically for those of us who wear smaller than a 4? If it weren't for the Loft and Banana Republic making 00P and XXSP, I would have to go naked most days. And even tho I'm skinny, you definitely don't want to see that, ha.
@Goodatlove: THANK GOD for Loft and Banana. I wear the same size and 95 percent of my wardrobe is from there! It's very difficult for me to find clothes as well. Old Navy and Gap now have petites also on their website. I've ordered one Old Navy Top in XS petite and it fit pretty well, but I haven't tried Gap yet. J Crew has a very limited selection of petites on their website, and one day Im gonna splurge and order one of their coats in PXXS (yep, I actually saw that size!)...coats that fit are always the hardest thing for me to find!
I have been stick-thin my entire life and I promise you that the judgements and criticism directed towards overweight women is also directed to those who are underweight. So, when I comment on this thread, that's where I'm coming from. I'm not talking about the women who fall into the categories of "thin" or who weigh a bit more than they'd like. Starting in the 4th grade, with a teacher who placed additional food on my tray and asked if my mother fed me, to a boss who pulled me aside and told me I looked anorexic, it has been suggested that there is something wrong with my body. And yes, men will overlook the skinny girl for her curvier friend... and they will make fun of your flat chest and "stick legs." How is that any better then being made fun of for having fat legs, or whatever else could be said? I wouldn't want it either way. When I gained weight with my first pregnancy, I recieved more positive attention than ever in my life. And when it was gone, I was invisible to men and Lord help me if I had a complaint about how I looked; I was told to shut-up when I tried to talk about how I felt. And, then when I gained 75lbs in 9months with my last child, I must have entered in to a new club where it was okay if I complained that I had nothing to wear, b/c other women sympathized with me. Having now been on almost every side of the fence there is, underweight, average, and overweight, in my experience, women are angrier with thin women than overweight and therefore more likely to say something off-handed and rude. No, the taunting on the playground style comments aren't there like there is for obese women, but the quick, snide comments are.... and in abudance. It's a different world, being at a weight where other women aren't angry with me and readily accept my feelings about my body image. I won't say I'd rather be one or the other, but to be accepted by your gender is at the very least, nice. I just wish I had been given as much consideration for the last 33 years of my life.
@Rubies: I can only imagine how much it must suck to be a super skinny girl and to look at a model and go "Why don't I look like that?" and to have the rest of the world tell you that you are too thin, too boney to be beautiful... Being the "ideal" and yet never feeling beautiful is the ugly reality of world with a fucked up image of beauty.
YES! Wow. I never looked at it that way or realized that's why I felt the way I did/do, but that is IT. It always confused me when all the models were "skinny" and admired, yet it wasn't okay for me to be so thin. And I never felt admired, even when people would throw out an off-handed "compliment" about my size. I knew I still didn't look like the pretty models.
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