Post # 1
I just found out that MIL and FIL had to put down DH’s beloved dog from his childhood. I have grown quite attached to him over the last 7 years, and DH and FIL are taking this hard. They keep restating that “it was for the best” and “he isn’t suffering anymore”, which is true, but I can hear the pain in their voices. He had tumors in his neck and legs, and by the end, he was unable to even walk one step (they were treating him, and he was doing much better, but then in 3 days he just went downhill in a flash).
However, since I can tell they are both in mourning, I don’t feel entitled to be crying my eyes out and am very glad I am home alone right now (I got a phone call from both FIL and DH). I feel like my being sad is only going to make DH and FIL feel worse than they already do, and while I loved him very much, he was their dog, and I should be strong and there for support. I shouldn’t have to be the one who needs the support and the shoulder to cry on. I haven’t spoken with MIL about it, but she has been preparing herself for this since he was diagnosed, while FIL and DH were both certain he would pull through. With that said, I am sure she’s in pain too, but since none of them are crying, I don’t feel like I have the right to be this sad. Granted I am a crier, and I’ve only seen them cry a few times, but still, I don’t want them to feel like they need to console me, when I should be consoling them!
Sorry ladies, I just had to talk to you all about this. It makes me feel better to get a cry out to people. Thanks.
Post # 3
I’m so sorry to hear that!!! My condolences to you and family. I can’t imagine loosing my dog, he’s only 2, but I know one day it will come, I just don’t know what I would do. I love him to death!!!
Post # 4
Wow, thats really hard.
I’m so sorry to hear.
I’m sure they wouldn’t mind to see you cry. You loved the dog too.
I actually make myself cry sometimes thinking about losing one of my guys.
I’d be a mess.
Post # 5
Oh I’m so sorry! (((hugs))) My beloved dog from my own childhood had to be put down in April so I can relate. It’s like losing a family member.
Post # 6
Yeah losing a pet is always so difficult.
When my FI and I (then boyfriend) had to put our first dog we had together to sleep it was awful. I shut down for over a month, didn’t cry, nothing. I felt like I didn’t deserve to feel it as much because I couldn’t be in the room with FI when they did it, I went out to the car and waited. I felt so guilty for that, and felt like my pain wasn’t as justified.
I’m sure your husband wouldn’t mind having someone to cry with over it. It helps to share it with someone. Maybe seeing you showing emotion over it will help release it for him. I know it took me quite awhile to be able to feel it, so I don’t think it’s that abnormal.
Post # 7
@LynnSnow: I am SO sorry! I know how hard it is. And, I wouldn’t worry about showing your emotion to them. When I lost my beloved dog a year ago, it comforted me to know how many people loved her just as much as I did.
Post # 8
Thank you all, this has made me feel a lot better. It really hurts to lose a pet and I started bawling again when my kitty jumped up in my lap, because I couldn’t bare to lose him too. I’ve been just reading a bunch of internet stuff today and I came across a wonderful quote from the Humane Society about how much love our pets have for us, and how wonderful we made their lives, and how wonderful they made our lives.
When DH gets home I think I’ll cry if I need to, and I think he’ll cry if he needs too as well. We will miss him so much, but we’ll always love him. (Sorry I am so sappy right now.)
Post # 9
Everyone grieves differently, just because they may not be cryers doesn’t mean you can’t. You’ve known this dog for a long time too and it is ok to mourn his passing together with FI family.
Post # 10
@LynnSnow: dont hide your emotions, its okay to let out how you feel it will likely help him. My dog that I had since I was 2 died my freshman year of college and I didnt talk almost 2 days and cried uncontrollably. my SO did not cry, however, he was visibly upset and it let me know that I was not crazy for being so upset over my dead poodle. Having my fiance so upset didnt make me feel like he was putting me in the spot to take care of him, it made me feel like I could more open about my feelings. And Im so sorry to hear that, I have been there. People dont always understand the connection to a pet.
Post # 11
@LynnSnow: the loss of a pet is never easy! I’m coming up on the year Anniversary of having to put down our rescuse dog who we only had a year And only had a week from the diagnosis to losing him…DH took it so hard, and I had the same feelings as you… To be the rock, the shoulder to cry on, the support.. let your hubby and in laws have their time to be sad, and then you will be able to have your time!
I’m sorry for the loss of the pup!! Be strong!!!
Post # 12
I’m so sorry for your loss! I kind of understand what you’re going through… well not yet… just found out one of my precious guinea pigs that I’ve had for almost 5 years has cancer! Trying to keep her as comfortable as I can, as I can tell that she still has most of her energy and sass that I love so much about her, until I can tell it’s time. Try to remember all of the funny/sweet times you had with your pup and remember that this truly was for the best. Sending hugs your way!