NWR – Need advice on an acquaintance who THINKS she KNOWS everything

posted 3 years ago in The Lounge
Post # 3
Member
270 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

((HUGS))

 

No advice from me but she does sound dreadful! 

Post # 6
Member
664 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I guess it depends how much you see her. If it’s rare, I think you’re better to smile and nod and then bitch to us about her later. 😛

I’m also a fan of the statement, “I’ll give that all the consideration that it’s worth.” She will either be pleased if she’s dumb, or else she’ll figure out how much her opinion is worth and STFU.

Post # 7
Member
42538 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

You will never change her behavior. You can only control your reaction.

“Thanks for the input/suggestion. I’ll take it under consideration. Now let’s talk about…”

Post # 8
Member
846 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

Maybe I’m mean but here’s a potential strategy. Just don’t even acknowledge what she said. At least with words.

Like if she says something, look at her and pay attention to her so she knows you heard her. Then after she’s done talking, go “Hmm…” then abruptly change the subject. 

I don’t know if that would work but if that was done to me, I’d be very annoyed if all they said was “hmm” then change the subject. Lol

Post # 10
Member
6407 posts
Bee Keeper

Since she obviously likes to share opinions, and you’re clearly not finding them helpful, I would opine right back at her. If her advice is poor, I would explain exactly why it is poor. What factual and logical errors has she made? Let her know.  

Do this in a calm, fact-based, politely stated, but very clear and firm way.

Did you ever do debate club? I loved debate club, so I enjoy opportunities for debate. You can’t just start debating people who habitually put social lubrication above expressing every opinion, though. Even if a person like that expresses opinion on the occasional thing strongly, it’s still not a moment to debate. They’re more venting on that issue than inviting debate, and since they are generally considerate people, it’s best to let them vent.

BUT, with a loudmouth, you’ve got a live one! We all have our pet topics that get us going, but someone who has an opinion on everything everyone else does probably doesn’t so much enjoy debate as the sound of her own voice, because to her it conveys her own brilliance and superiority over others, to herself. The fact that she is not necessarily correct doesn’t phase her if everyone’s too polite to point it out, or if the other person gets too frazzled to debate with her properly and makes personal attacks instead.

What better way to take the puff out of that hot air balloon than by calmly pointing out her factual and logical errors? Politely listen to (even invite!) her rejoinder, and then calmly address the problems with the rejoinder, and so on, until she’s had enough. Can’t you just hear the “fzzzzzzzzzzzzz” of that artificially-inflated ego shrinking back down to size right now? And she’ll think twice before she wants to experience that again!

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