Post # 1
So there’s this thing about me….. I HATE when people give unsolicited advice. Call it a personality flaw, call it stubbornness, call me a bitch…. it is what it is… I HATE IT. It makes me immediately defensive and rage-y.
I should mention– this is not at all true at work. It is just in my personal life.
Right now what is driving me crazy is people giving me “helpful advice” about our lawn. Our lawn sucks. I admit it. Mostly— I DON’T CARE. I’m just not an outdoor person and I don’t have any pride wrapped up in our yard. It’s not like there is trash or a toilet sitting on the front lawn. But we don’t water much (and it is a drought!) so it is kinda dead and we have weeds in the lawn and our flower beds could use some serious pruning.
Our neighbor across the street doesn’t have a job. And he cares a LOT about his lawn. And ours, for some reason. He is constantly on us about it with “helpful” advice. We actually hide from him now when we see him outside! He brings over weed killer, and is always stopping my husband while he mows to tell him that he’s doing it wrong. First he had the blades set too high. Then he had them set too low. Then he wasn’t starting in the right place. I mean… wtf. He even came over and talked to a landscaper that we hired (who was measuring our flower beds when I wasn’t home) to ask him if we had hired him to rehab our lawn because it so desperately needed it!
Then I try to complain to my mom about how batshit crazy he is and she just wants to “help” me by telling me my options for fixing my yard.
OMG people. I dooooo noootttt caaaaare. So yea. argh.
Anyone else hate “helpful advice” that is given without request?
Post # 3
Yes!! My favorite was in college, people trying to give me beer pong advice. Really?? It’s beer pong. I don’t think it’s going to be an olympic sport anytime soon, so I’m not really up for these unsolicited training sessions, but thanks.
Generally, I just dislike when people try to give advice to me about things that I am clearly not good at, and that I don’t have any interest in getting better at. Another example that comes to mind is pool. I so rarely play pool, I’m never going to be good at it so just laugh with me at how horrible I am and let me have fun instead of explaining the techniques I should be trying!
(Rant over) lol
P.S. I think your neighbor needs a hobby. Maybe you could get him a chia pet or something, since he is so into plant growth and well-being 😉
Post # 4
- Wedding: June 2015 - Thorpewood
Ughhh yes! I hate it when I mention something to someone and they feel the need to advise me on it.
For example, I mentioned my boss that my FMIL was kind of driving me bananas. That’s all. Nothing deeper. She started giving me advice on how to improve my relationship with FMIL, which is totally fine most of the time! We don’t need to improve our relationship! It was just a bad day. Yurgh.
I loathe people giving unsolicited advice.
Post # 5
You’re not a bitch. I’m the exact same way. Sometimes I just need to vent. My mom is big on this. I’ll tell her a story and then she’ll go, “Well…what if you do this? Maybe it’s because…” and I’ll go, “Yes, mom, I know all that. I just need you to sit and listen.” Then, when I do want advice, she just shrugs and goes, “I don’t know what to tell you…”
Post # 6
@CorgiTales: I feel you! We get so much unsolicited advice about our dog. He is a handful, he is rowdy, and we are now on personal trainer #2( #1 quit). At any rate– people constantly give us advice or when I tell them a success story ( hello crate training!) they’re like, well I could have done that and saved you $$$! It is one thing if i ask you about my dog or post in the Bee for advice– but don’t stop me in the park to tell me he is hyper and if I tried x,y and z it will wear him out! Newsflash: I’VE SPENT THOUSANDS ON THIS DOG, trust me…. Everyone thinks they’re the experts but I am literally calling the experts here! Get off me and pups nuts!
Post # 7
I totally get you. what your neighbor is doing is being passive aggressive. what a jerk.
tell him that you are helping the environment by not watering your lawn. maybe it’ll make him feel like a heel and he’ll back off.
(oops, I guess that was some more unsolicited advice!)
Post # 8
Whenever someone takes it upon themselves to “help” me with something by prattling on about their own personal experience when I didn’t ask them to…I imagine that what they’re saying is like a salad bar…I take what I like and leave the rest…
Post # 9
@CorgiTales: That’s so annoying, ahaha I can just see you two ducking down behind a window so he can’t see you and start in with his lawn talk!
I don’t have a crazy neighbour, but I know how you feel and sympathize. You know what really grinds my gears? People trying to convince me to eat things that I hate as if their words will suddenly magically make me NOT gag while eating said things (I know it’s not the same situation, but I’m telling you about it anyway).
“Oh, you don’t like _______!? But _______ is so GOOD for you! And it’s so YUMMY! Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah!”
Yeah, I’d pretty much rather eat my own poop, but thanks for the weekly lecture that absolutely MUST spring up every time you eat _______ and offer it to me.
Post # 10
@dontstopbeelievin: Yes, exactly! My husband tried to “help me” at the driving range… last time we went ot the driving range lol. I do not play golf, I do not intend to. I don’t mind hanging out with him there and hitting a few balls but lay off my “form” dude– I don’t care. And yea… I think he needs a JOB. He isn’t old either. Probably 40s. He just doesn’t work. Ugh.
@OneOfTheseDaysAlice: haha oh moms. I often feel like mine just neeeeeeds to try to “help.” I will often tell her: I do not want an opinion I just want you to agree with me that _____ is being a dick. lol.
@janie-janie: lol but it was amusing so I’m down with it 🙂 In my most aggressive moments I want to go over there under the cover of dark and splash bleach on his lawn so that he has some of his OWN problems to deal with… but that is prob some kind of illegal haha.
@Juliepants: Oh man… you should see our tactics sometimes. Our garage is really narrow so when I am driving DH can’t get into the passenger side with the car still in the garage, I have to pull out into the drive for him to get in. If we see him out there he will literally crawl into the back seat and LAY DOWN until we turn the corner and he can hop out and into the front passenger side! lol I totally feel you on the food thing though. I am a really picky eater and I hate when people think they’re suggesting something NEW. “Try greek yogurt!” I don’t like it. “But you haven’t tried the right brand!” I tried 3 brands, I’m done. “But you just have to get used to it!” Um.. no. no i DO NOT HAVE TO SHUT UP.
Also, love the Fam guy reference haha.
Post # 11
LOL, I hate unsolicited advice, and I try not to give it but I do anyway :0
So here’s some – why not just let this guy take care of your lawn? It’s obviously an eyesore for him, but rather than being mean about it, it sounds like he’s trying to help.
EDIT: Also, I can’t BELIEVE how much advice I got when wedding planning. At one point I was sitting at a table and my eyebrows came up (not by me):
My mom – “Oh, you have to have to them professionally done!”
My MOH – “No way, we can them ourselves”
My FMIL – “Your eyebrows are perfect, no need to do anything to them!”
Me – “This is why I can’t take any advice for this wedding, not that I don’t love you all but everyone thinks I should do something different!”
Post # 12
@CorgiTales: lol but it was amusing so I’m down with it 🙂 In my most aggressive moments I want to go over there under the cover of dark and splash bleach on his lawn so that he has some of his OWN problems to deal with… but that is prob some kind of illegal haha.
Not if you happen to just be walking down the sidewalk some night, carrying your open container of bleach as usual, and suddenly trip and toss the bottle into the air directly over his lawn.
Just some unsolicited advice 😉
Post # 13
@hisgoosiegirl: unsolicited legal advice haha
I don’t think he cares about your lawn in the sense that he wants you to have a nice lawn for yourself. It sounds like he must care so much because he doesn’t want to see a lawn that isn’t “pretty.” Too bad, so sad. Life isn’t perfect, Mr. Perfect Lawn!
I don’t think it ever really bothers me much because USUALLY, I assume the person is just being nice. But, if I get the vibe that there’s a different motive – like, they think I’m an idiot and don’t know something or that it’s selfish (like Mr. Perfect Lawn), then I get sarcastic and snarky. Good thing you can’t get booted off of real life like you can these boards! Muhahahahah
Post # 14
Scotts turf builder and lots of water. Honestly it’ll make a huge difference.
Post # 15
man, why don’t people get this stuff?
If I had been visiting, I would have made a comment about your lawn and would have been done with it (and completely understand because I don’t care about plants either). Only if you had made the comment along the lines of “I know, I’ve tried all sorts of things to make it grow but it’s not working!” would I have proceeded to offer some solution.
Post # 16
@CorgiTales: Bahaha, that’s hilarious that he LAYS DOWN in the backseat, hahaha!
@hisgoosiegirl: carrying your open container of bleach as usual – LOL!