(Closed) NWR – Outside advice desperately needed

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
5075 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2012

It’s not his money.  It’s hers.  She stated she wanted it deposited into her acct.

Don’t feel guilty about it.  It’s not his.

(this might be out of line – but don’t give him any money in the future.  I feel like he’s going to be hitting you up for stuff)

Post # 4
Member
106 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

No you are absolutly doing the right thing, she asked that the money be put in her commissary account (which she’s going to need!!) so you, as HER friend need to do that.

Post # 5
Member
1183 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

You are doing the right thing by doing what she asked!

You are in the middle right now. If he has an issue with you doing what was requested, he needs to talk to her, not you.

Post # 6
Member
121 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@Leland:  You are just doing what your friend wants and needs during a horrible time. Please don’t feel guilty! She is so lucky to have people like you by her side during all of this! He is obviously going through a really bad time, and it’s very reasonable to keep him out of the financial matters. All the best to you and your friend!

Post # 7
Member
3886 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

You’re doing the right thing by using the money for what she told you to use it for. You’ve promised to pay it towards her restitution, not to put her boyfriend on an allowance. The boyfriend can get a job or beg his girlfriend for money or go panhandle if he wants, but you’ve made no agreement to use her money in that way so don’t feel bad one bit!

You may also want to take the cash to your bank, deposit it into your own account, then draw out a cashier’s check payable to the commisary (call them first to make sure they accept a cashiers’ check).  This not only keeps the money safe from getting lost, it gets you completely off the hook from the boyfriend because the check has already been cut and there’s no way he can borrow from it.

Post # 8
Member
812 posts
Busy bee

I agree – you are doing the right thing dropping the money off with her Mum, no question about it

Post # 9
Member
4275 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

He is not responsible with the money.

You are doing the right thing.

Post # 10
Member
359 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Agree with all the PPs, you’re doing the right thing. There’s no betrayal of trust when it comes to him, but there would be a betrayal if you didn’t do as your friend asked. And, I would follow through on her wishes ASAP.

Post # 11
Member
1765 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

You’re definitely doing the right thing! I would probably feel uneasy about the situation too. You’re being a good friend.

Post # 13
Member
9631 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

@Leland:  You’re doing the right thing, you’re protecting your friend’s back.  He may or may not would have stolen the money, but she entrusted it to you.  You’re being a great friend to her.  He’ll get over it.  Once he sobers up he’ll probably be glad you didn’t give it to him, if he cares about her.

Post # 15
Member
5075 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2012

@Leland:   That’s great!  You sound like an awesome friend.  She’s lucky!  

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