My daughter is allergic to nuts (just peanuts but our allergist has advised to avoid ALL legumes), soy, wheat, dairy, seafood and shellfish. Suffice it to say, learning to feed her was no small challenge!
I think learning the degree of the allergy is essential. While my daughter cannot ingest any seafood, she is okay with it being cooked if the room is well venilated. She can eat small things of wheat but not, say, tons of wheat pasta. She cannot have any raw dairy — period. Not even a tiny shred of cheese. Learning this has determined how we handle her diet.
In general, we don’t dine at restaurants where the culture uses a lot of peanut, such as Thai. When she was younger, close to your nephews age, we always brought food and snacks with us, so it was a non-issue.
In our own home, we don’t keep any nut products or anything with seeds (per her allergist). We don’t really cook seafood/shellfish. It’s often that we cook something seperate for her that is a little different. Since it’s a habit, it takes no more time than it normally does to cook dinner.
All of our family and friends are aware and do the same. And, she generally has snacks in her backpack along with her EpiPen, Jr., and asthma medicine. We also carry Benadryl strips with us so if we think she has come into contact with an allergen or know she has, we give it to her and that usually prevents a very severe reaction.
My daughter has only had full on anaphylaxis once. We have NEVER had to use the EpiPen, so really it’s just about paying attention. We do not have seperate pans or cooking utensils, and just use common sense.
At first, allergies seem daunting but they’re pretty easy for a family to adjust to. And there are tons of allergen free products available both online and in stores.