NWR – Sad, emotional -Step daughter's best friend hit a pedestrian and he died

posted 2 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
Member
6753 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

A friend of mine hit a pedestrian under similar circumstances over a decade ago. She hit the person and another friend witnessed it because they were following behind her. It is something we as a group if friends know about it- but we never speak of it. I honestly don’t know how she deals with it. I’m so sorry this happened to your daughters friend. She should get some counseling.

Post # 3
Member
1130 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

sharksgrl99:  Oh, what an awful and terribly sad situation. I don’t really have any advice, but wanted to say that if nothing else, she is lucky to have such supportive and caring people in her life as you and your step daughter. You sound like you’re prepared to be there for her and help her through what will most likely be the hardest experience of her life, and that is probably the greatest thing you can offer her right now.

It sounds like a good idea to encourage the professional counselling as quickly as possible but in the meantime, just being there for her and allowing her to go through all the emotions as they come is probably the best you can do. She will likely need people to help her keep on track with the simple self care things, such as eating properly and getting some sleep, while she processes the grief.

My thoughts are with you all.

Post # 4
Member
1130 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

sharksgrl99:  Just a quick extra thought as I re-read the end of your post – in terms of what you can say, maybe don’t feel like you need to address the incident itself (i.e discuss the details, tell her it’s not her fault etc.) but rather just emphasise and keep reminding her that you are all there for her, no matter what, and that you’re going to help her through it. I think that’s what I would find comforting – knowing that I had the unconditional support of my friends and family. If she wants to discuss more specific things, I’m sure she will initiate the conversation.

Post # 6
Member
643 posts
Busy bee

sharksgrl99:  What happens in a case like this? Is it considered vehicular manslaughter? Will she be charged? I think you are doing all you can by being there for support as its needed. 

Post # 8
Member
6753 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

sharksgrl99:  at the time it was a bit of a whirlwind. My friend was briefly jailed, but the authorities ultimately decided to not press any charges because it was ruled the pedestrian was at fault and basically unavoidable for my friend. She dealt with it very privately with her family and  boyfriend. I suppose it is odd because my husband (of 4 years) had heard the story before from another source, we recently saw her at a BBQ at only then did he finally make the connection it was her in the story- that is how much we DONT talk about it.

Post # 9
Member
6048 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

The poor girl… both of them as I’m sure your SD is so upset also.  You may want to get your SD into see someone, just as a check to see how she’s coping.  My brother was in a car accident with his friends in HS, no one died but one guy was seriously injured.  My parent’s got my brother into see someone ASAP as the guy injured was his best friend, and my parents wanted to make sure he had his own head wrapped around this before being there for someone else.  It gave my brother two hours to cry and yell and then be there for his best friend.  You can just be there for the family, drop off dinner maybe, see if there are any errands that you can help out with, just your presence will be a help.  I’m sure the girls parents are devistated.  

Post # 10
Member
1905 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

Oh my god, I can’t imagine 🙁 So sorry!

Post # 11
Member
118 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Just make sure she knows you still love her and that this doesn’t change how you feel about her. I’m really sorry this happened 🙁 

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