NWR: Sad Night. I F'up my Husband's Laptop

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
1992 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

Um, you didn’t do anything wrong. Your FI is acting like a psycho. He needs to get over it.

Post # 4
944 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@MrsOrange:  bee, he sounds like a major asshole.


I get it that he’s mad, but this is SOOOO CHILDISH! You’re his wife and he should trust you to use his things. And it’s very obvious that this is the computers problem, not yours. It was bound to happen sooner or later. 

Post # 5
11668 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Doesn’t sound like you did anything. It’s probably just a fluke it happened after you used it so tell him to back off! I wouldn’t feel too bad there’s nothing you can really do. It’s just a computer.

Post # 6
7013 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@MrsOrange:  This is your husband’s fault for not backing up his photos.

ETA: He deleted them from his SD card without backing them up???????? THAT WAS STUPID!! I don’t even do that with casual snaps. I always back them up onto DVD before I delete from the SD card. To do this with important photos really beggars belief.

Something weird happened (which may or may not have been your fault, probably wasn’t), and it is your husband’s fault for not backing up his photos. End of story.

Post # 7
898 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

@MrsOrange:  I get that he’s mad and he’s entitled to take his little bitch fit. But, he shouldn’t take it out on you. From what you said it doesn’t even sound like you did anything wrong? He’s acting like a compl te child.


I feel you, tho. I’m waiting for FI to come home so I can tell him I broke the bathtub. 🙁


Post # 8
4474 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

In all honesty, your husband needs to take some of the responsibility here. He has no proof that you touching his laptop is what caused this. His computer was already having a lot of issues, and it dying could very possibly have nothing to do with you printing a document. I think you’ve already done everything you can. You are remorseful, you’ve offered to buy a new computer, and you have offered to help replace the photos that were lost by paying for re-shoots. Also, if your husband is working in an industry where he’ll need a working computer, he should’ve already bought himself a new one. My husband is in graphic design and his computer was dying, but still functional. We literally just bought him a new one yesterday so that he can do the work he needs without worrying about his computer dying on him any minute. It was an added expense that we didn’t need right now, but it’s better than him losing tons of work and expensive programs like Photoshop and Dreamweaver. As a photographer, your husband should also know better than to delete pictures without backing them up. I’m not saying your husband doesn’t have a right to be upset and angry at the situation. But I don’t think he has a right to take it out on you, put all the blame on you and forbid you from ever touching a computer he owns again. 

Post # 9
3222 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

Um, it was a fluke. Don’t let him make you feel awful for this. I know a lot of photographers and they back up their pictures multiple times and definitely on some sort of cloud device. If your husband didn’t do that, losing creative work is his own fault. If you want to be helpful, do take his laptop in for service, but only do so if it won’t make you anxious before your interview. Good luck!

Edit: seriously, I just asked my FH, and he says he has THREE cloud devices backing up his creative work. If your husband is going to be a creative professional, he needs to take responsibility for his work. If he didn’t back up, then there’s always hard drive recovery.


Post # 10
9949 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

Good luck at your interview tomorrow.  Your husband needs to realize that sometimes stuff breaks and that it’s no one’s fault.  I assume he’s upset because he can’t access files he knows he should have backed up, and is taking it out on you because you were the last to touch the computer.  It’s not fair to do that but that’s how humans work sometimes.  =(

Post # 11
332 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2014 - Sea Ranch Lodge

Sounds like he needs to understand the concept of an accident… you sound like you have apologized enough!!

Hope the interview tomorrow goes well.

Post # 12
236 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@MrsOrange:  Could it be a battery issue? Like since it would not turn on at all. Laptops have a pretty short battery life and usually you have to replace them every few years or so. Unless it is a virus that has completely wiped everything, he can still get to his files. You’ll just have to take it somewhere.

He is wrong for how he is acting. If he says anything else ask him to explain how you could have possibly broken his laptop doing what you did. You couldn’t have unless you accidentally opened one of those “lo0k @ this video i founD of you.! Gr0ss!” emails or something.

Breathe. This can be remedied. You got this.

Post # 13
12865 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Sounds like just a case of bad timing.  If his computer was already flaky he should have known well enough to back up his pictures.  I have a ‘perfectly’ working laptop and I back up my pictures on two separate drives before deleting anything from my SD cards.  He needs to quit his bitching.  I wouldn’t be all that sorry and hold any responsibility, printing a file doesnt’ break a computer.


Post # 14
281 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I work on computers for a living, nothing you did sounds remotely suspicious. Laptops go bad in a lot of ways that have nothing to do with user behavior. S**t breaks! Your DH is being a jerk about this. I have broken things of my husband’s and even scraped his beloved car and he never raised his voice or said anything other than “aww honey, it’s just stuff.” He owes you an apology for being a buttwolf.

Post # 15
280 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Ok that is not your fault. You did nothing wrong. 

On the plus side there IS a way to extract photos from memory cards even if it’s been deleted, I’m a photographer and I accidently cleared one of my memory cards by accident and another one of my friends had some program that was able to extract all the photos from like so long ago, it was amazing! Not sure of the program, there are a few you’ll have to google it.

Post # 16
1158 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

@MrsOrange:  i know it might be hard now, but please do your best to focus on your interview!!!! And if he truly cared about you, he would get over this in order for you to be in a good frame of mind for the interview. He is entitled to be upset, but I think his hissy fit should be over by now. He should have backed up his pictures before deleting them from his camera, that’s common knowledge, and now his own stupid fault NOT YOURS! Opening up a word document doesn’t cause chaos to a computer, so it must have been on its last leg.

Good luck on your interview!! I am sending you positive vibes!

Leave a comment

Sent weekly. You may unsubscribe at any time.

Find Amazing Vendors