Nwr spinoff- do you vent about your siblings to your friends or family members

posted 3 years ago in Family
Post # 4
Member
3077 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

I vent to close family. Like, I’ll vent to my parents about my sister or one aunt I’m close to. Or on the other side, I have one cousin that I can go to. If we’re not close, no.

I don’t really “vent” so much as say things I mean though. I’m not really close to my siblings. I love my sister but we’re not that close. I’ll occasionally mention things she does that I think are ridiculous but not in a mean way, kinda a teasing manner? & my brother is a mess. He can be a self righteous jerk & I’ll definitely “vent” about him, but it’s not a temporary opinion like I usually view venting

I can understand where your mom is coming from but I’m also one who needs to blow off steam. I’d maybe tell my mom I’ll try to limit it, but I’m close to my grandmother and my relationship with her is my business. In a nice way lol

ETA: I don’t go around venting all the time though. That’s annoying. I’ll mention something to my aunt maybe twice a year, once during a time my bro and I are arguing and another maybe just discussing him. Only to people I can trust and only to someone who either understands my opinion or thinks the same as I do. I do vent to my mom a lot though, but we’re all her kids so she just listens & occasionally will try to defend the other person.

Post # 5
Member
5697 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

I don’t think you should be talking about your sister to your family members. Or about ANY family members to family members. It only fuels the fire, creates misunderstandings and honestly puts the entire family in an awkward position. My own family has been extremely awkward and is nowhere near the same that it once was because of drama between my mom and one of her sisters and her sister ran around talking to everyone in the family about my mom, most of which wasn’t even true. Our family is just not the same. Everyone pretends to love each other and not care about it what happened, or to pretend not to know anything, but it’s all so fake.

No I do not talk to my family members about other family members. If I wanted to complain about my brother I’d do it to my husband, I certainly would NEVER do it to my grandmother.

 

Post # 6
Member
1666 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

@Ap2010:  Of course I have. My sisters are humans just like everyone else – meaning, that they (and I) have the same capacity to annoy or hurt one another that anyone else does, possibly more so because we are sisters and we have a history together that we don’t share with other people.

I try not to complain often and, when I do, I tend to try to limit myself to only complaining to FI.

If someone outside the family complains about them for no reason or a reason that isn’t really fair, then that isn’t cool and I do say something along the lines of, “You aren’t family, so shut your pie hole.”

Someone who is part of the family? It depends on the validity of the reason. My mom left Thanksgiving early one year in tears because of her mom and brother (long story short, mom has always felt her mom loved her brothers more and this was the first time she had seen her brother since they had a huge blow-up fight years before); shortly after my dad, sisters, and I all got up and left as a sign of solidarity. The need to do so hasn’t arisen since because that side of the family learned a valuable lesson – when it comes to choosing sides between them and our mom, mom wins every time.

Post # 7
Member
632 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I vent about my siblings to my husband and friends and my parents and my other siblings.  We are pretty open though – if someone vents they usually tell the vented person and somehow it gets back and eventually it gets discussed (or argued) but all is right in the world when it ends.

Post # 10
Member
5697 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

@Ap2010:  I think that would be a more productive way to deal with things. Thing is, your sister isn’t going to change, and complaining to other family members doesn’t really help that it probably just causes more anxiety and drama. The only thing you can do is figure out how to deal with your feelings about her and change your reaction to her. If you have a lot of negative feelings about her then counseling is definitely a good place to go with them.

Post # 11
Member
1666 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

@Ap2010:  Therapy could be helpful. It would give you a safe environment to vent about your sister without needing to worry about it getting back to anyone or hurting anyone. And a Counselor could help you learn how to better handle your sister in the future as well.

Post # 12
Member
599 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2016

I don’t vent to family members about other family members, it can cause issues between people who weren’t even initially involved

 

I agree about the therapy too, it could really help you out

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