- 3 years ago
- Wedding: August 2013
Backstory (long, sorry about that):
However, once I got engaged (1) I had sort of forgotten I was friends with them since they were all infrequent posters, (2) that since this was the next big step in my life and I felt that with that level of commitment I did not really want/ need to have them as FB friends, and (3) 2 of the 3 exes I was friends with also got engaged around the same time so I thought it would be weird to be planning weddings along side them. Once I saw one ex post a wedding-related pic, I remembered i was still FB friends with them and it suddenly dawned on me that since we weren’t really that close/didn’t chat as friends, I didn’t want/need to see their wedding ideas or give them or their fiancées any reason to feel insecure. One day, one of my exes posted a pic of him and his fiancée picking out their cake, and it was an adorable pic and I was excited for them, and my instinct was to “like” the pic, but I stopped myself and wondered if that would make his fiancée jealous, so I didn’t “like” it and since I had gotten engaged recently myself, I decided it was the perfect time/excuse to just delete them on FB. If I can’t “like” a pic what was the point of having them on my friends list?
Anyway, sorry about the long backstory, I just wanted to make it clear i did not have any of them on my FB, and I tend to ramble if I am keeping it real ;). Fast forward to now, I haven’t talked to any of those exes for years and for over a year — do not have them as FB friends. One of the exes, we will call him Chris (the one in the cake pic I liked but didn’t “like” lol) got married last year, I think it was spring or summer, not totally sure, to a woman we will call Sarah. I have never met Sarah. I am so happy that he did bc I did feel guilty about our breakup/hurting him. We dated 4 years and lived together and when he was ready to propose I realized he was not the “one” and I realized that my high school flame/first love was the “one”. That is who I married, but the breakup was not taken well by Chris, and I felt badly about hurting him. So naturally when I found out he was dating Sarah and that they were now going to be married I was elated for him! Chris and I were not really friends though in real life, since I had been the dumper, I just gave him space and did not try and remain buds, so Sarah and I never met.
Sarah and I have no mutual FB/life friends, bc my ex sort of cut off the people we were mutual friends with and Sarah never really hung out with them. Despite the fact that I am not friends with Chris in real life or on FB at this point, and Sarah and I have no mutual friends, I don’t really understand why she friend requested me? I actually have no problem being her FB friend, I don’t care if she sees my wall at all and it wouldn’t bother me in the slightest to befriend her, but I guess I feel like, what is the point? I just don’t know her at all. So, I just left the request alone. I don’t know if I should add her or not, and if I don’t, should I just leave the request or actually ignore it? I don’t want to be rude or hurt her feelings or anything, I just haven’t been able to decide what to do. How would you handle and why do you think she added me? To get to know me or just curiosity? Anyway, please advise how you bees would respond and how to do so politely. I haven’t wanted to ask my friends for advice bc I truly don’t want it to get back to Sarah and possibly offend her. I really like to be respectful at all costs of exes and the women they love after we have parted ways. Thanks bees!!!