Post # 1
Sorry this is so long everyone……
Something that I have been struggling with for the last couple of weeks is a friend’s suicide. I feel saddened by this and I needed an outlet to express this. My friend and I worked together in high school and we would hang out and talk outside of work often. We got into a fight one day and he said something that really hurt my feelings. Instead of me approaching him and talking through it, I remained silent and gradually stopped hanging out with him. Instead of attempting to repair the friendship, I let it fall apart. Fast-forward to the present. One of our mutual friends posted that our friend had died, but that he didn’t know why. I asked another friend who was the deceased friend’s neighbor about what had happened. He told me about the suicide. He and I are both in the same boat. We both lost contact with this person and wish we could have helped him in some way. For me personally, I am struggling with this the most, I think, because this was him taking his life into his own hands. He didn’t reach out, but he probably didn’t feel like he could :-(. This makes me incredibly sad. After thinking about it, I struggle with this loss more than the loss of my friend who died from cancer. With the latter, I knew he didn’t have a choice in the matter. The first friend did, and made that unfortunate choice. The neighbor friend is distraught because he saw this person kicking a soccer ball in his front yard only a week before his death. I know we cannot go back in time and talk to the person in the yard kicking the soccer ball. We cannot change his mind and show him that things do get better. My friends and I struggle with how things ended. I am beating myself up for not talking to him like an adult and explaining why my feelings were hurt. My friend who’s the neighbor is struggling with growing away from him and not checking in on him more regularly. My friend now drives in the opposite direction of the deceased friend’s house because he cannot handle driving by without becoming emotional. The last friend stated in his facebook status that he wishes they would have ended “their feud sooner” as they too had grown apart over the years. I simply needed to vent because I don’t know how to handle this. I hate how there are more questions than answers.
I would like to potentially make this a remembrance thread. For those who were important to us and left us too soon.
Kris (Deceased 10-6-10—25 years old) and John (Deceased March 1st, 2005—17 years old)
You are both in my heart always and forever.
Suicide is never the answer. It seems in recent months this is occurring more and more. Awareness needs to be spread and we cannot forget those who have left us. They need to remain in our minds and hearts so that they can live on in this way.
Please remember someone important to you in the comments. I personally pray, as I am religious, and I will pray for those listed. For those of us who are not religious, please keep positive thoughts for the families affected by tragedies such as suicide or illness.
Post # 3
- Wedding: August 2010 - Ocean View Villas/Jasmine Seafood Restaurant
My family lost a family friend when I was young. He felt there was no way out after he lost all his money in the stock market and felt humiliated. Everyone felt horrible for not seeing his pain and suffering. My dad sat me down to tell me that suicide is a permanent solution for a temporary problem. It has always stuck with me. I hope that we can all remember to just reach out a little further and to stay connected to people. In today’s world, people have large social networks but not very deep ones. I hope we can all reach a little further to help those that are feeling disconnected and lonely.
Post # 4
I’m sorry you have to deal with this. I have dealt with suicide or some sort of tragic death at least once a year since 2003 and could probably fill a whole post with the names of those I know. It’s rough.
The first time it was a guy I had known since elementary school, a guy who would stick by my side and hold my hand when everyone else was ready to kick my butt. I could cry now just thinking about him. I remember that morning, driving past his house, and watching the police pull in the drive. My FI was with him the night before.
Less than a month later we lost another guy. He dated my best friend and we had lunch together almost everyday. Our community has lost at least one teenager a year since then, from a high school where each grade has maybe 110 kids.
It hurts less over time, but each new one brings it back. Try not to dwell on the time you lost. I hope you find some peace of mind and I’m sorry about your friends.
Post # 5
Thank you both for your comments. I know time will slowly heal the wounds, but it definitely stings now. Both of your loved ones will be in my prayers tonight.
@hotwings: I feel like society sometimes makes us feel as though we should be ashamed for things that we should not. I am so sorry your family friend felt this way. Humiliation is something that no one should have to feel. We are all important, we all have value, and we all need support sometimes. IMO our society sometimes makes it difficult for people to reach out in their times of need. Communication is very important and is something we need to work on, as a whole. Thank you very much for sharing this.
@reinab505: You have got to be so much stronger than me! One friend a year since 2003? That is so sad, I am so sorry you have gone/go through this fairly regularly. It seems to leave more questions and pain with each one (at least for me). I sincerely wish you the best and I thank you for your response. It is too common of an occurrence and it needs to be addressed more.
Post # 6
@Corykru: I am so sorry for your loss and that you are going through this. My uncle committed suicide 6 years ago this past July and it was one of the most difficult things my family has ever gone through. It is such a hard thing knowing that you can never have that person back and that you wish you could have been there to help them through their pain and suffering. If you ever read postsecret.com there is a suicide hotline that is posted there if you are interested in suicide awareness and prevention. No one should ever feel like things are so bad that they need to end it. Try not to beat yourself up for losing contact – it will only make this time more difficult for you. The most important thing is for you to preserve his memory and to try to help others in need. ((hugs))