Post # 1
This might come off as a little frivolous but still, I’m not quite sure what to do here. FSIL will be induced on Friday to have the IL’s first grandchild. My issue is that FI is a little upset that I want to go through with my plans to visit my mom this weekend to work on wedding stuff that is completely overdue. I’m also still recovering from a bout of the flu that has left me niffling and hacking my organs up all hours of the day, so I’m not going to the hospital to be around other newborns and pregnant mommies.
It this rude that I don’t want to break my plans? FSIL and I don’t have the closest relationship, but we’re very friendly with each other, so I don’t think she really even cares that I wouldn’t be there Friday and would come visit on Sunday when I get back – if I’m not still sick. Everyone is going to be so busy with the new baby, it’s not like I’ll be missed so what’s the big deal? If it were me, I wouldn’t care who comes to visit, because obviously I have other things to deal with!!
AND – just on a hormonal rant – we live closer to his family so our lives revolve around them a little more than my family. FI has no problems dropping anything for his family, but hardly accompanies me when I visit my family that lives an hour and a half away. Yeah it hurts my feelings, but it’s just one of those things that’s not worth an argument so I said my peace to him in the past and let it be done.
Post # 3
@ShabbyChicBee: Why should this birth be a big deal for you? What purpose would your being there serve? This isn’t the second coming. Visit Later.
Post # 4
I would be mad as hell if someone with the flu came to visit my newborn. Don’t go yet.
Post # 5
Send him with a card for FSIL saying that you don’t want to risk bringing harmful germs to her and her new baby but you would love to be able to visit her when she gets home and you are in the clear. There is nothing wrong with this. It sounds like she will be busy with plenty of visitors, anyway.
Post # 6
You are just getting over the flu. I would wait until you felt better to visit the FSIL and new baby. I’m sure she will understand that you don’t want to risk the chance of getting either one of them sick.
Post # 7
Thank you! They almost seem appalled that I’m not pulling out all the stops to welcome this child into the world! Like “What, you wont be there? You HAVE to be there!”
No, I don’t. I wasn’t raised in a barn, I am not going to be around a newborn while I’m still sick. It’s like they just want me there just to be there, I honestly feel like an outsider at the thought of sitting in the waiting room while everyone takes turns see the baby. It’s weird.
Post # 8
I would probably call her (if you’re comfortable with that) and just tell her you’ve been sick and would love to visit the following week or something. I wouldn’t want someone who had the flu or even a cold near my newborn anyway!
Post # 9
- Wedding: July 2014 - Prague
You’re sick. Do everyone a favor and explain that sick people don’t go visiting newborns in hospitals.
Post # 10
@ShabbyChicBee: TBH, his sister would probably prefer to NOT have someone in the hospital visiting that she isn’t that close to. Most new parents want some privacy and alone time right after the birth.
Post # 11
Also, just because you won’t be in the room with her or the newborn (if you spend your time waiting in the family area) doesn’t mean you aren’t putting her child a risk. You can easily spread germs to your FI and FILs while waiting and they can go back and spread them to the not-yet-immunized baby.
Post # 12
@ShabbyChicBee: Call the new Mommy yourself so she hears from you. Tell her congrats but right now you are still too sick to visit the baby. She will totally understand. Newborns have NO immunity.
Post # 13
@thenewmrsmax: I agree! FI just thinks I’m the brattiest person in the world right now because they all prob think I should provide “moral support” by just being there. It’s totally idiotic. I don’t have children yet, but it doesn’t take much to know that newborns need to be protected from any type of germs. Even if they had to tell me not to come because I’m sick – well heck, ya ain’t gonna hurt my feelings!
Post # 14
@ShabbyChicBee: I say call her once the baby is born and say congrats, but I know if it were me I would be furious if someone that had the flu/cold came to see my baby. No way. You are being responsible.
Let FI go be with his family.
Post # 15
@ShabbyChicBee: I’m pretty sure your SIL will be THRILLED that you’re waiting until you’re not sick to visit! I’m 2 weeks from giving birth, and I wouldn’t want someone getting over the flu visiting me and baby in the hospital!
I’m sure she’d rather see you at home once she’s settled in–and bonus points if you bring them something for dinner!
Post # 16
@ShabbyChicBee: I wouldn’t go. For all the things PP have said. You’ve been sick, you and your FSIL aren’t that close, and you have plans that will be difficult to rearrange. Send a card with FI, and give her a call after the baby is born.