Weddingbee boards

OKay i know hte answer to this... but.. I still feel the need to vent...

So...  here is the deal. 

One of my friends birthday party is tonight.  It's at a place, she always goes, and there always seems to be drama, I am just not up to drama tonight, even though I told her I would go.  Drama follows her, or she follows drama, I would love to cut her out, but I just can't, I feel so sorry for her, she lets poeple walk all over her, but I believe this stems from abuse from her mother (she is also very young and I am like a mother figure to her, she has told me this)  So, the reason I don't want to go, aside from the Drama factor is there are a few people, I do not like, along with my sons Ex-Wife... (long story) she is psycho and my son can't go to this party.

Now comes to today...

I dont want the drama.  My sons birthday was a few days ago, and he was out of town playing a gig in California.  which is HUGE...  So we are going to take him out to dinner tonight.  so I am off the hook for a little while, but this is a huge shin dig for her.

I am in a catch 22.  My love for her outweighs my dislike for everyone (including my sons exwife).  I sent her an email asking if it would be okay if she came over one day this week and we could scrapbook all night long, and eat junk food and stuff, we have lots of fun when we do this. 

Now, I am beginning to regret this, I do not want her to be hurt.  But at the same time, I do not want to see those people.  While its her birthday party, my son deserves something for his birthday too...  I want to distance myself from any drama because stress does not agree with me (i just cleaned up my facebook list because of all the negativity some people were giving off) 

So, what would you do?  suck it up and go for a drink?  Honestly I know TONS Of people will be there, and really I would rather treat her specially for one night.  I would get balloons and a tiara for her and everything on scrapbooking night... she wouldn't regret it...

I guess I needed to vent.

Thanks Bees! 

It sounds like you already did the right thing, you invited her over for something that she would enjoy.  Friends don't always enjoy doing the same thing I like.  If I go dancing for my birthday (actual dancing, not club dancing) I know there are certain people who will not come.  Same thing if it's something very drinking based, like a martini bar.

Have fun with her on your own when she has the chance.  Don't bother going out if you're already dreading it!

If you think it would hurt her feelings if you don't show up, I would say you should stop by for a drink and wish her a happy birthday and then head out.  She should understand your desire not to spend time with certain people who will be there.

@tksjewelry: Thanks girl, yep thats the answer...  LOL  hubbie said so too...  I wont stay long, but will go have a drink, buy her a drink, give her well wishes and be off... 

I KNEW that was the answer LOL i htink I was just hoping it wasn't... I dont kow, we will see.  will keep you updated on how it goes

@mcnetn3:  thanks, yea, she does, and will understand that...   I think just making an effort and appearance will be enough.  Thanks though...,

feels good to know I am doing the right thing I guess, ya know?  sometimes we just need Validation a little  bit.

and i dont ask for validation, but with this particular friend... I don't know, its just kind of complicated...

OK home now... this is what happened...

Had dinner with my son.  it was wonderful:)  But he had to go home early because he has to work early in the morning...

So we went to this place for my friend birthday.  I was totally shocked at the lack of people there to support her.  This made me very sasd.  My friend is there alot.  Everyone knows her, and I can't imagine why people wouldnt show up??? 

anyhow, she was happy to see me, and we stayed later than I thought.  My sons Exwife told her "something came up"  and then this other girl we both know, just didn't show up, after RSVPing Yes she was looking forward to it and couldn't wait. 

I got to hear good music "japhys decent" (shameless plug LOL kind of blues traveler meets nirvana sound) She was so happy I came:)  that made me happy:) 

So just letting y'all know how it turned out.  It turned out fabulous!!! 

Thanks for all your input.  My love for her, outweighed any negativity I had for others.  I really love her dearly.

So thats how it just all turned out:) 

thanks bees!

Ronney