Post # 1
Hello bees! 🙂
It’s obvious what my question is, so here’s a back story as to how this question came about.. A co-worker of mine has a DS who is 10, her and her husband had told him about Santa and up until Easter believed he existed. When they decided to tell him that Santa was in fact not real and it was actually them who bought him presents for Christmas he didn’t take it so well. He now is not asking for Christmas presents and she feels he is somewhat resentful that they have, for all intents and purposes, lied to him for most of his life.
My DH and I have a 2 year old DD, we have not discussed about whether or not we will tell her about Santa. I know he will want to tell her about Santa and for her to believe in him as long as we can get away with it, with the above situation I am now on the fence. It is essentially lying to make her believe in Santa when he is not real and I’m not sure how I feel about it just yet. She isn’t quite to the age to understand what Santa does, but it will be coming soon.
So my question is, were you taught to believe in Santa?
If yes, did finding out he wasn’t real affect you in a negative way?
If no, do you wish your parents would have taught you about Santa or are you more meh about the whole thing?
I may start a spin-off thread about whether any of you will teach your children about Santa or not..
BTW, I don’t really remember when my parents told me Santa wasn’t real, honestly I pretty much figured it out early on as I was very snoopy and would always find my presents before Christmas. Although my parents wouldn’t put them under the tree until Christmas Eve, they were always the same presents I had already found.. so I kind of put two and two together.
I added a poll, if you don’t want to explain you can just vote, but this way I can hear from all points of view. 🙂 If your answer is not up there please explain!
Post # 3
@BushelAndAPeck: I like your wedding date…it’s my bday 😉 My brother and I were both taught to believe in the easter bunny and santa claus. I found out there was no easter bunny when I was about 7. My parents told me neither was real and not to tell my brother, but I argued with them that Santa was real. haha. They never really had that conversation with my bother, he knew santa wasn’t real and my parents knew he knew so it never seemed like a big deal. I don’t think you guys should NOT teach your daughter to believe in santa and stuff. I think she would be missing out on a fun part of childhood. I think its sad that your husband holds resentment over that, but the majority of people don’t take it as they were lied to and hold it against their parents.
Post # 4
I grew up in a Jewish household, and thus was never taught that Santa was real. In fact, I think I remember being the bratty kid in elementary school going around telling all my classmates it was all a lie. Yup, I was a brat.
Post # 5
My parents tried to tell us when we were really little (I was probably 3 or so, my older brother around 5) that there was no Santa so we could focus on the true meaning of Christmas. We refused to accept that, so they played Santa for a few more years. I think your co-worker’s son’s reaction is a strong (and unusual) one. I think most kids aren’t that disturbed by it. I guess it depends on the kid’s personality. Maybe do it for a few years and then tell your daughter long before 10? Like, at 6 or 7?
I have a 1 year-old, and we haven’t totally decided. We’ll probably do Santa for a few years, then “let him in” on it if he has younger siblings. I think that might be a more fun (and easy) way to end the Santa belief.
Post # 6
I believed in Santa. I don’t remember learning Santa wasn’t real, so obviously it didn’t have any big emotional effect on me. I do however remember the magic of Christmas as a kid, the excitement, the anticipation, and everything that surrounded it. My favorite thing that explains it is the Yes Virginia, there is a Santa Claus article.
Post # 7
I don’t see why you would tell a kid santa dosn’t exist. They will figure it out on their own when they grow out of him. I don’t think kids will resent their parents when they outgrow santa but if the parent ruins santa then it makes sense.
It is essentially lying to make her believe in Santa when he is not real and I’m not sure how I feel about it just yet.
It really makes christmas “magical.” There is all this build up about how to tell santa what you want and you bake him cookies. Why ruin that for your kid, especially when all her school-peers will believe, you’re gonna tell your kid it isn’t real so you aren’t lying. I really think you’d essencially ruin Christmas.
I think it is great to encourage children’s imaginations. I came across this yesturday, it’s hysterical.
Post # 8
My family referred to Santa, but I don’t remember them actually giving me a lesson about how he comes to our house or anything. I certainly was never told he wasn’t real, I just kind of knew . I will say that I don’t recall ever believing in him. I remember being about 4-yrs-old and getting a pink Barbie corvette for Christmas (the kind you can sit in and drive around). My mom said Santa brought it and I remember thinking something along the lines of, “no, you and daddy did, but I don’t want to ruin your excitement and tell you that I know whats up” hahahaha. I just went along with it all for their sakes! LOL
The easter bunny was always a ludicrous idea to me. I certainly never believed in him either. Though, I was a child whose favorite TV shows were Matlock & Magnum P.I. 😛
Post # 9
I feel like I would have missed out on a huge part of my childhood had I not been s taught about Santa, Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy, etc. My parents never had a “talk” with me to tell me they weren’t real. I sort of just out grew it the older I got. I think its ridiculous for adults to still hold a grudge about being “lied to” by their parents.
Post # 10
- Wedding: September 2014 - Banff, Alberta
@BushelAndAPeck: I don’t remember ever believing in the Easter bunny, maybe really young like 4 years old. Around 8 kinda figured out Santa didn’t exsist. My parents would never say that to me though! You just mature and figure it out yourself. We kept it going for my younger brother for another 6 years though so I always thought it was sweet to “lie” about Santa because I saw how my brother responded to it and it was really cute.
Post # 11
@BushelAndAPeck: My parents never told us about Santa in the way most parents do. They were very christian so they thought the holiday should be 100% about the birth of jesus, not about presents or santa. They taught us about the real Santa aka St. Nick- who traveled around villages delivering presents to poor children out of the goodness of his heart, staying anonymous because it wasn’t godly to want to be praised for his good deeds. I have no idea if any of that is even correct, but that what we were taught. We still went to events with Santa, and my grandpa dressed up as Santa every year for x-mas day and the day before when we delivered presents to the children’s hospital.
I really love my parents for the way they handled the santa issue. Later on they told me they didn’t really think it through too much at the time except that they felt it was wrong to lie to their children, even over something so trivial. It helped instill in all us kids the value of service and giving freely without anything in return, and to be mindful of those around us that do not have what we do and help them as best we can. DH & I have already talked about this and we are 100% repeating what my parents did even though he was raised with a santa…I don’t feel that I missed anything at all by not believing in Santa. We still baked cookies but they were for mom & dad, we still stayed up late but that was to catch them in the act of putting unwrapped presents out… Christmas is magical no matter what really….
Post # 12
I was brought up on Santa, Tooth Fairy and Easter Bunny. I can’t remember what age I was but I remember exactly the day my mom told me. We were walking through the housewares department of Macy’s, my mom broke the news and I let out a gigly cry.
I was fine.
I will most def. “lie” to my kids about Santa and co.
Post # 13
@Jess1483: I think you’re right on his reaction, it seemed a little intense. I like the idea of telling her about Santa for a few years. She will probably grow out of it like most of the PP’s have already said happened to them. I think her situation just made me think about it, and worried if it may happen to our little girl. But probably not.. 🙂
Post # 14
@Atalanta: +1 to this! It’s just a fun thing to have as a kid!
@BushelAndAPeck: I think the problem is that they just flat out told their son that Santa isn’t real. Why not let him find out on his own? Eventually kids will figure it out, just by being around other kids who no longer believe. I think the only time you need to tell your kid is if they go on believing for too long (such as my little sister who still believed up through her senior year of high school…she has aspergers and has always been young for her age, and living in her own world. It was really difficult because she would have other kids tell her all the time that Santa wasn’t real, and she refused to listen. It got really hard for my mom to have to try and explain it to her).
But seeing as most children who celebrate Christmas do the Santa thing, I think it’s definitely fine to do with your daughter. And it can be fun for your too! I know my parents always had a lof of fun pretending to do all the Santa stuff!
Post # 15
I believed in Santa until I was about 8. I will tell my kids he is real too, for as long as I can.
Post # 16
@FutureMrsBex: I agree. christmas was so magical when we knew about Santa. I want kids so we can get that magic back!