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@FutureMrsCookie: #1 Where did we meet: My ex and I ran in the same social circle. We knew each other several times over.
#2 What I like: Smart, morals, funny, financial stability and spoils me.
#3 What I dislike: Arrogance, rudeness (to me or others), dishonesty.
Yes, your job/ financial stability is more important than your personality. I don't think its funny to be broke and struggle at my age. I am very stable in my life at 31 and I have no interest in bringing anyone in my life that will bring me down; I've worked too hard. However, in college or my 20's it didn't matter as much because I was not ready to get married and was looking to have fun.
#1 where we met: DH and I met in our Young Adults group at our church
#2 what I looked for: I actually had a VERY extensive "list" of what I looked for... and stuck by. I didn't like wasting my time. lol
#3 what I disliked: I couldn't stand being told what I "wanted to hear"... it was always so obvious when a guy didn't match up with something I wanted/believed but he'd try to make it out like he did. UGH I hated that.
1. Where to meet: friends of friends, at activities of common interest (church group, sporting event, comic book convention, cooking class...you get the idea! If you already have at least that one thing in common...no matter what it is, it makes starting a conversation much easier!). My DH and I were introduced through common friends.
2. What I like: Humor, Honesty, Intelligence, Stability, Confidence, Someone who is Genuine, Personal Hygiene (likes to make himself look nice), Adventurous, Kind, Good at Listening, Playfulness, Common Values(okay...and gorgeous eyes/nice forearms doesn't hurt either!!). I would date a shy guy...it is just harder to because I am shy myself, so I like the other person to make the first move! Looks and job do matter somewhat, but not QUITE as much as personality (ie. I wouldn't date someone with no ambition or drive to better themselves, and it is always a good sign when someone values themselves enough to be healthy and take care of whatever body they were blessed with).
3. What I dislike: Self-Centered, Rude, Hot-Tempered, Overly Sarcastic, Lazy (we're not talking "Lazy Sunday" here...we're talking "won't help out around the house/expects someone else to do everything for him"), Dishonest, Puts others down when out in public. One of the worst things is those who believe they are "God's gift to women"...ugh...get over yourself!!!
#1. Where is a good place for a guy to meet a nice girl that's not at a club or bar? For instance, where did you meet your FIs?
I met my SO at a festival, and through mutual friends so it was all planned/safe so to speak. I suggest just going out to places and doing the things you love! If you like artistry, join a painting class? If you like sport, go see a game - yes women do go to them too!
#2. What kind qualities do you look for in a guy? Do looks and job matter more than personality? Would you date a shy guy?
Actually my SO was that shy guy, not so much now as I think he has flourished in confidence since being together. I find the shy guy intriguing, no girl likes a guy who offers all his personality on a plate in one sitting.
I wasn't really looking either when I met my SO either, I had resounded myself to singledom for eternity ala Bridget Jones so it's hard to say what qualities I looked for, but qualities I admire in my man are that he is caring, thoughtful, and he listens and picks up on things. He makes me feel valued, makes me laugh, and just be my best friend I guess.
And no career and looks doesn't matter as these can always change overnight! Personality lives on a lifetime :)
#3. When meeting a guy for the first time. what are some of the most unattractive things he has done to turn you off?
Bad breath, a funny breathing noise, a horrid or put on (fake) laugh. Just be genuine and game on for anything, I can spot someone when they are trying to be something they are not a mile away :)
#1. Where is a good place for a guy to meet a nice girl that's not at a club or bar? For instance, where did you meet your FIs?
My bf and I met online, it worked well for us because we are both quite shy people
#2. What kind qualities do you look for in a guy? Do looks and job matter more than personality? Would you date a shy guy?
I always look for kindness and a sense of humour. I don't like smooth guys who have all the answers or who play 'the game'. In fact, one of the first things that really attracted me to my bf was that he asked for a second date before the first date was over! (his intentions to date me and his interest in me was clear - he didn't do the whole waiting three days thing).
Looks matter a little initially, but personality definately wins hands down for me. And I would date a shy guy, I actually do date a shy guy - he took 3 weeks to kiss me (we were both 25 at the time) and I thought it was the sweetest thing ever. It made it all the more special
#3. When meeting a guy for the first time. what are some of the most unattractive things he has done to turn you off?
Spit, burping loudly, farting in public, being rude to waiters (and other service staff), blatently looking at other women, showing a lack of interest in me or what I have to say
#1. Where is a good place for a guy to meet a nice girl that's not at a club or bar? For instance, where did you meet your FIs?
Hmm Youll always find nice girls doing some sort of Charity work : Maybe they can check out Volunteer areas.. ( lol I feel like cosmo for men now telling them where to meet nice girls ) But in all seriousness, most of my Gf's are not in tthe whole club/bar thing and often volunteer in Charity events- libraries -- etc etc.. They arent boring people at all and always enjoy a good time. But Also they should definetly check out friends of friends, family members, etc. Im sure they will definetly come across someone. I met my FI through a friend on myspace. Haha. ( woops )
#2. What kind qualities do you look for in a guy? Do looks and job matter more than personality? Would you date a shy guy?
Well this video is GREAT LOL
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rjoaSj-FDyk
But to answer your question... It depends on how shy? I love a man whose modest but not overly shy.. Im the girl, I would expect me to be more shy then him. I dont want him shy enough to be the one whimping out if someone mistreated him that he doesnt wanna do something about it..
But this video should be watched lmao.
#3. When meeting a guy for the first time. what are some of the most unattractive things he has done to turn you off?
If he didn even offer to pay.. TURN OFF. If he tells me how he likes to party like a wild animal.. turn off. If he tells me that he loves women very much.. ( Ahh.. great.. not very comforting)- Im not the kind who realy cares if the man burps/farts/vomits. but its more like personality things like that really turn me off.
For single guys who are struggling, I would honestly recommend the blog: http://heartiste.wordpress.com/. It contains some offensive things but also so much truth about human nature that I think it's worth a read just to consider.
As for your questions:
1. I met my SO through work, participating in an after-work activity with coworkers. Go to those work happy hours, weekend retreats, lunchtime training sessions, and office birthday parties!
2. I want a guy who is intelligent, ambitious, confident, and successful. Personality matters more than looks, and job is part of personality.
3. Unattractive things guys can do are to seem too clingy/eager/needy. No one wants to be with a guy where you feel like you are out of his league, and the way he either gives that impression or not is by how confident vs. awkward he acts around you.
A good place to meet is through mutual friends. That's how FI and I met, and then the person is kind of vetted by your friends already, ie, you know they're not a total creep haha.
I like guys who are confident, intelligent, funny, and on top of their shit. My FI has a great job, works hard, takes care of me. I've also met guys who do cool things like have a band or run their own business, or whatever. I like a guy with hobbies and his own life. And very, very nice and polite! I prefer shy guys, probably because I am loud and obnoxious myself.
Turnoffs: I've never liked guys that were short and overcompensated for it by bulking up muscle wise. Also, a lot of my guy friends smoke pot pretty regularly and I think it's lame, they're 27, grow up and save it for once in awhile. I also hate hwen guys pretend to like things you like to impress you- it's much more fun to have a conversation when you're trading ideas or pseudo debating about whatever.
#1. Where is a good place for a guy to meet a nice girl that's not at a club or bar? For instance, where did you meet your FIs?
We met at a small party under very odd circumstances. Neither of us were looking for anything at the time, but I've made some of my best friends unexpecdedly so my #1 Advice is: Talk to strangers.
#2. What kind qualities do you look for in a guy? Do looks and job matter more than personality? Would you date a shy guy?
Likes to laugh, positive attitude, doesn't tell me what I "want" to hear, an attentive listener, realistic ideals. My fellow was a bit shy so yeah! Job isn't as important as ambition.
#3. When meeting a guy for the first time. what are some of the most unattractive things he has done to turn you off?
No awareness of personal space, eyes wander a lot during conversation, been rude to others, asks really personal questions too quickly (yes, on first meeting,) when they start smoking right in front of you without asking.
#1.Where is a good place for a guy to meet a nice girl that's not at a club or bar? For instance, where did you meet your FIs?
work, friend of a friend at a houseparty, birthday dinner or other social gatherings... I also know a lot of friends who are happily married to the guy they met at a bar too.
#2. What kind qualities do you look for in a guy? Do looks and job matter more than personality? Would you date a shy guy?
Looks matter because i cannot know his personality from the get go but personality and job matter quite a bit as well. it has to be the whole package :-)
Confident, smart, driven good looking, athletic, funny and outgoing
#3. When meeting a guy for the first time. what are some of the most unattractive things he has done to turn you off?
Arrogant to the point of putting other people down, stingy/cheap, shyness, poor hygiene, complacent.
#1. Where is a good place for a guy to meet a nice girl that's not at a club or bar? For instance, where did you meet your FIs?
#2. What kind qualities do you look for in a guy? Do looks and job matter more than personality? Would you date a shy guy?
#3. When meeting a guy for the first time. what are some of the most unattractive things he has done to turn you off?
#1. Where is a good place for a guy to meet a nice girl that's not at a club or bar? For instance, where did you meet your FIs?
I met my guy online. We worked in different towns and had opposite work schedules. Had it not been for the internet I would have never met him.
#2. What kind qualities do you look for in a guy? Do looks and job matter more than personality? Would you date a shy guy?
#1 humor. Then intelligence, looks, manners. Job is way down the list, but is eventually important. I would absolutely date a shy guy if he at least showed he was making an effort. My guy isn't the shyest around but he's definitely more reserved than other guys I know. But he tries. He puts himself out there despite being a little shy.
#3. When meeting a guy for the first time. what are some of the most unattractive things he has done to turn you off?
Rudeness. Rudeness. Rudeness. Lack of intelligence. No sense of humor. And if I'm simply not attracted to him...well, that becomes a factor as well. He doesn't have to be hot. But if I don't click physically with him and it's not something I could even MAKE work, I'm sorry. It isn't happening.
#1. Where is a good place for a guy to meet a nice girl that's not at a club or bar? For instance, where did you meet your FIs?
Personally I think the best place to find a guy is in school or some sort of education program. There you'll meet someone with the same interest working towards a common goal. You start off pretty much "working towards" something rather than trying to "SPARK" an interest!!
#2. What kind qualities do you look for in a guy? Do looks and job matter more than personality? Would you date a shy guy?
Aside from good looks (obviously), he must be emotionally secure, share common values, and have a good heart. Personality matters the most, but a career/job is also very important. Personally, no, I would not date a shy guy.
#3. When meeting a guy for the first time. what are some of the most unattractive things he has done to turn you off?
Try to impress me by telling me he does a lot of weed or using pick up lines (trying too hard to be "cool" sums that up). Ignorance (nothing is as unsexy as chauvanism). Arrogance (seeing a guy in this role just screams insecure to me).
#1. Where is a good place for a guy to meet a nice girl that's not at a club or bar? Online dating. www.eharmony.com for people who are looking for relationship not "just dating" . www.Match.com for more casual dating. Also a good website to meet new people is www.meetup.com.
#2. What kind qualities do you look for in a guy? Do looks and job matter more than personality? Would you date a shy guy?
The most important qualities for me are: generosity, consideration (always putting yourself in other people's shoes), honesty, sincerity, sense of humor and believes in communication. Accept me for exactly who I am.
For me, education matters more to me than money and beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
#3. When meeting a guy for the first time. what are some of the most unattractive things he has done to turn you off?
Did not treat me like a lady. Going dutch with me on a 1st date.
#1. Where is a good place for a guy to meet a nice girl that's not at a club or bar? For instance, where did you meet your FIs?
I think a good way to meet nice people is through mutual friends. It's holiday season, and holiday parties are abound. It would be a good idea for your single male friends to attend their friends' holiday parties. It's a social environment, and a good way to get to talk to people and know them. It's also safe because friends can vouch as to whether she's a nice girl or not.
#2. What kind of qualities do you look for in a guy? Do looks and job matter more than personality? Would you date a shy guy?
Someone that I could talk to, who would listen to what I have to say, who would be respectful of not only me, but women in general. Someone who was honest, who would be my best friend. Someone who wouldn't take me for granted, and who would show me that he cared. Looks and job did matter. I wasn't looking for someone who was a stunner in looks or the most fashionably chic, but someone who cared about his personal hygiene, who presented himself as a clean and put together individual. I also didn't want to date someone who would spend most of his time with his job. I can't be with someone who might come home really late, and leave really early, or might get called out in the middle of the night. If I'm going to be raising our kids by myself, then I might as well just be a single mother. I want a partner, not just someone who brings home a lot of money. I could never date someone in the armed forces, a fireman, or a policeman. I'm grateful to them for what they do, but I can't wait at home at night and wonder if they're safe, if they'll be coming home, or when God might take him away from me.
I think there are plenty of women who would date shy guys. I think the problem is that shy guys often take too long in making it clear to the girl that he likes her. He could be sweet, and shy, and she could wait for him for a damned long time before she just gives up and dates someone else. You can be shy at first, just know that she won't wait for you forever. Make sure that the girl knows that you like her, or you could end up get friend-zoned in the end.
#3. When meeting a guy for the first time. what are some of the most unattractive things he has done to turn you off?
I'm an Asian woman, so men ask me about women of my "race", whether we all have small tight vaginas, etc ... I've been told "You Asian girls think we can't tell you apart, but we can. Japanese and Vietnamese girls are kinky and will do anything in bed. Chinese girls make good girlfriends, and Korean girls are hot, but really high maintenance and bitchy." I get asked quite often if Asian men have small penises. I've had one guy try to place my hand on his crotch to measure whether it's "huge right?" In my imagination, not only is mine bigger than his, but it is magical and I can do anything to it that I want like turn it rainbow with glittery sparkles.
Don't come up to me and introduce yourself in bad Korean, Mandarin, or Japanese and expect me to be impressed. I don't care if you took first-year Mandarin or w/e in college. It's rude and condescending because I was born and raised here, I was an English major, and English is my first language. I'm also frequently asked "what is your REAL name?", or "when did you come to the U.S.?" or "your English is so good", or "so ....what are you?"
I am bisexual. I've been told that that is so hot so many times that if I got money for every time I heard it, I'd be wealthy. I've been asked if he can watch me hook up with another girl, if we can have a threesome, if we dated, could he bring other girls back? I've been told that I'm only "allowed" to hook up with other girls because that would be so hot. I've been asked if we could make a lesbian porn video where I hook up with other girls, but he comes in and saves us all.
@Shlieka: Wish there was a "like" button for this.
I usually counter by saying "Bonjour" to them LOL
Lol, I usually respond by talking about my penis and how magical it is, or tell them that if they want me to open my body up to them then it's only fair that I get to reciprocate with a dildo. They usually leave after that ;)
I met mine in college. But at least 5 or 6 of my friends and siblings have found their significant others/future spouses through the internet.
I am shy myself, so yes, I would date a shy person and I hope others would too! It definitely makes it easier if at least one person is outgoing though. I don't think looks and job are that important, but I'd prefer a guy with some self confidence and intelligence, who has a genuine concern for others and a desire for education. I'm also somewhat geeky so he has to at least understand/appreciate math & geeky stuff like star trek.
#3. I hate smoking! if he makes fun of shy people or tells me to smile, or to talk, or just starts spouting opinions (i.e. is self important - just because you hate something, doesn't make it necessary a terrible thing, that's just your opinion).
1) I agree with the friends of friends thing. That's where I met most of the guys I've dated, including FI. House parties, group outings/dinners etc. that mix groups of friends are the best ways to meet new people to date.
2 and 3) Both are subjective. I personally don't care for shy guys, but honestly a guy can't change his personality to catch a girl's interest. You've gotta be yourself and do what you do naturally because otherwise you'll never get the right person for you. (I do realize you're not asking for dating advice, these are just my general thoughts on the dating world). There are all types of people in this world, and luckily all types of people who go for said types.
#1. Where is a good place for a guy to meet a nice girl that's not at a club or bar? For instance, where did you meet your FIs? Well, I met my partner on a dating website! Maybe not the best suggestion, but it worked for us :) I actually was striking out hardcore on that website and debating taking down my profile (he says he was too). After leaving my ex-husband it was difficult to find people. I lost some friends and I'm an instructor and grad student. I did go on one coffee date with a grad student in another department. I met my ex-husband at a concert. I played softball this summer, and there were a ton of great, super nice guys on my team and other teams. I was in a wedding last year and the girl met her husband playing ultimate frisbee. So, if they are into any sports at all, they could maybe do that? (and you don't have to be athletically inclined at all, lord knows our softball league only has about 10 people who are good!). I also went on a few dates with guys that I met at the grocery store (yep), book stores, and even picking up food to go at a restaraunt.
#2. What kind qualities do you look for in a guy? Do looks and job matter more than personality? Would you date a shy guy? I say looks matter to me to a certain extent. They aren't going to make or break it, but it's the first thing you see before you talk to someone even in most cases. My partner only had 2 pictures on hisi profile on the dating site and they were face only and not that great. He is so much better looking in person (I make fun of him for this). When I first met him, I was a little disappointed that he wasn't taller but he has great eyes. Aside from looks, I want someone who is easy to talk to and honest. With my partner, there were never any awkward silent moments and conversation just flowed. I want someone who has goals in life and is determined - they don't need to make a ton of money or even have a college degree. Personality makes up for so many other things. I also love a guy that can make me laugh - I dated a guy who constantly had a new joke, even if they made me groan. I would totally date a shy guy! At least half of the guys I've dated have been shy, including my partner.
#3. When meeting a guy for the first time. what are some of the most unattractive things he has done to turn you off? Be rude to me or other people - I hate when I go out to eat with someone and they are rude to the waiter. I remember the owner of a local bar had asked out a friend of mine the night we were there, and i look over and he is screaming (really loud) at a bartender. I don't care what she did, that's not cool. I warned my friend and she brushed me off. He turned out to be a jerk (shocker). Also, chew with their mouth open. Just be a jerk. Talk over me.
#1. Where is a good place for a guy to meet a nice girl that's not at a club or bar? For instance, where did you meet your FIs? A good place to meet a girl that's not a club or a bar might be...ummm...yeah, obviously I have no clue. Haha. I guess I'd say through friends? That's kinda how my FI and I met. We knew of each other in high school, but we didn't start actually talking until after I had graduated (he graduated the year before me) and a mutual friend told me he was interested in me.
#2. What kind qualities do you look for in a guy? Do looks and job matter more than personality? Would you date a shy guy? It sounds cliche, but the number one quality I (would) look for in a guy is sense of humor. Laughing is my absolute favorite thing to do, and if a man isn't funny, I wouldn't want to be around him. Looks obviously matter at least a little bit. I also like a really tall man, my FI is ten inches taller than me. I would absolutely date a shy guy. When FI and I first started dating, he was VERY shy. But then again, I'm shy too if you don't know me. I'm by no means an outgoing person, so if it was a crazy outgoing girl we're talking about, she probably wouldn't want to date a shy guy. But shyness goes away after you get to know someone, so it could work.
#3. When meeting a guy for the first time. what are some of the most unattractive things he has done to turn you off? Some things that would really turn me off on a first meeting would be rudeness in general, particularly to waitstaff if we were at a restaurant. I can't explain to you how much that irks me. Some others would be: being disrespectful to anyone, catching them looking at other girls, or catching him looking at MY "girls," if it were like pulling teeth trying to hold a conversation with him, if he wasn't articulate and intelligent-sounding, being too forward, but also being too afraid to do anything. I'm sure there's others, but I think most of them are common sense. Also, this is probably going to sound old-fashioned, and maybe I really think of it as the norm because I'm from the south, but if it were an official first date and the guy didn't pay, I'd be a bit concerned. I've actually been on a first date where the guy only payed for his food and I was quite confused. It's not necessarily a deal-breaker but it would make me raise my brows, for sure.
And there ya go, I've written you a wonderful novel :) Haha. I hope that helps your friends!
#1. Where is a good place for a guy to meet a nice girl that's not at a club or bar? For instance, where did you meet your FIs?
Match.com. Running groups.
#2. What kind qualities do you look for in a guy? Do looks and job matter more than personality? Would you date a shy guy?
Funny. Relax. Gentleman.
#3. When meeting a guy for the first time. what are some of the most unattractive things he has done to turn you off?
Full of themselves.
---> Do not complain about your dating life (even if it sucks!)
Where is a good place for a guy to meet a nice girl that's not at a club or bar? For instance, where did you meet your FIs?
I met my FI through a mutual friend who thought we'd be good together and set us up(they were right)! I would second the PPs who are suggesting joining a club or group of people who are interested in something you already like doing though, that's a very good idea.
What kind qualities do you look for in a guy? Do looks and job matter more than personality? Would you date a shy guy?
Qualities I look for: Honesty, same sense of humour as me, considerate, integrity.
Personality matters WAY more than looks and job to me. If a guy can't make me laugh then I'm not interested, but I would date an unemployed guy who really "got" me. I have dated shy guys before my FI, who is himself a bit shy about some things.
When meeting a guy for the first time. what are some of the most unattractive things he has done to turn you off?
Turnoffs: Arrogance, dishonesty, rudeness, not treating me like an equal, oh and bad personal hygiene (ew).
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Hey Bees,
I have a number of single 25ish guy friends. Some have never dated a girl in their entire lives. Since FI and I announced our engagement, they've all been very supportive, but every now and then one of them will make a depressing/hopeless comment about their lack-of-dating-life. So I was wondering if you all had any advice on:
#1. Where is a good place for a guy to meet a nice girl that's not at a club or bar? For instance, where did you meet your FIs?
#2. What kind qualities do you look for in a guy? Do looks and job matter more than personality? Would you date a shy guy?
#3. When meeting a guy for the first time. what are some of the most unattractive things he has done to turn you off?
I'll start it off, I met FI while I was still in college (we met in a literature class) so honestly I don't know where I would go to meet guys now. In general I like guys who are a little outgoing, friendly and someone I can really have a good conversation with. Looks don't matter too much to me as long as I find him somewhat attractive (althought I dont' think I would date someone shorter than me, I'm 5'2 so I'm already pretty short). I do want a guy who loves with he's doing and makes enough to at least support himself. I don't like shy guys. I think the most unattractive thing a guy can do for me is keep hitting on me when I've made it clear that I'm really not interested.