NWR: When will we get to have our own place?

posted 2 years ago in Home
Post # 2
579 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

This is tricky. One one hand, you want to be supportive and maybe hope that your loyalty and patience will pay off in the form of eventually starting your lives together (being married anyway, sounds like your lives have been smooshed forever)

On the other hand, you haven’t made solid plans to eventually start your life, so you don’t know if the wait is worth it.

There’s really only one thing you can do here. Talk to him. Ask him if he plans on staying with his parents indefinitely. Ask him if he’d like a few months to decide, then you can revisit it. Ask him if engagement/marriage/moving into your own place is going to happen in the next year. Put it all out there. At this point, you NEED answers. The sooner you get them, no matter what those answers may be, your only doing each other a favor.

Let me ask you this; would you be OK with staying there permanently to take over the home and help his parents if marriage was on the table? I’d ask yourself if you REALLY love him and what you’re willing to sacrifice to be with him, and get him to decide what he’s willing to do to keep you, and keep you happy.. 

In my case, we thought of having FIs dad move in with us after FMIL passed a few months back. Do I want to share my home? Not really. But would I do it for my FI? In a heartbeat. (His dad is doing great, by the way. He has no need or desire to leave his home) Essentially, love, marriage and relationships are about comprise, because life is all about give and take.

  • This reply was modified 2 years, 2 months ago by  hippopotamus.
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