Post # 1
I’ve got a dilemma and I was hoing to get some bees’ insight on what to do. My FMIL has a friend who’s a really great woman, but who’s had a pretty rough life. Since divoring from her alcoholic husband, she’s been hit with huge health issue that have left her nearly 800k in debt. FMIL has taken her in to give her a place to stay until she can get back on her feet, but she’s having a hard time finding any kind of part-time work due to her health issues (she currently does off jobs)- she gets a social secrutiy check, but not nearly enough to even begin to ever repay her debt. So, she is wanting to file for bankruptcy, but needs $3000 to pay the lawyer fee. She’s a really great woman, loves kids, and I’d love to hel her out- so I was thinking of introducing her to sittercity and care.com, since she’d make a great nanny for a family with a mom going back to work and looking to leave her baby in capable hands. However, here’s the problem. Lately, she has taken up smoking- a lot. She’s the type of person who stressed out over the littlest things, for example she cooked a meal on christmas eve for all of FMIL’s side of the family, and was absolutley beyond herself with stress trying to make everything perfect and nearly cried when the roast was very, very slightly overcooked, so I think smoking may be her way of trying to destress.
I want to help her out, but I am feeling a little guilty for introducing a woman who smokes into young children’s lives. I feel I’m being overbearing but I cant help it, I love kids! Also, she doesn’t realize that after she smokes, she smells of cigarette smoke strongly, so I worry she wouldn’t tell the family that she smokes, but would show up reeking, and who knows what would happen then. So, should I help her find a job on a childcare website, or let it drop? Would you hire a caretaker who smokes? Would it matter whether she smelled of cigarette smoke?
Post # 3
Nope. Second hand smoke lingers on skin and clothes. Not to mention what does she do with the kids while she goes out on smoke breaks? we are a non smoking family so I wouldn’t pay someone to babysit who did.
Post # 4
It wouldn’t bother me as long as she smoked outside, but I’m sure you will find that the majority of people out there will label her as a child-corrupting leper of evil intent. No, I don’t smoke.
Post # 5
Nope. Second hand smoke is not worth it. It’s a big SIDS risk and also increases the chance of ear infections. Not to mention it just smells horrible.
Post # 6
Well since I have let my children sleep over at the house of a friend who’s mother smokes outside… yes. If she smelt of smoke it might be different. DH also had a lovely aunt who smoked very discretely and minded his nieces sometimes, no problem. I would have loved to be able to use her as a babysitter but – sadly but predictably – she died of lung cancer.
ETA: I wouldn’t tolerate a sitter smoking outside at my house though.
Post # 7
No, I wouldn’t. As @MsJ2theZ: said the smell of cigarettes linger on anything porous and that smell is easily transferrable to one’s home, furniture, baby clothes, baby items, rocking chair and anything else that is within close contact. I would also have concerns about cigarette breaks and the care of my child. Considering our home is a non-smoking home merely going out on our patio isn’t an acceptable option when the craving hits.
My mother smokes and when she visited a few months ago I had to deep clean and Febreeze (constantly) my entire home as the smell just lingered like crazy. I also had to replace a few outdoor patio items that were burned thanks to falling ashes. Considering it was my mother I dealt with it all. However I would not willing open my home on a constant basis and allow the care of my child to someone that smoked.
Post # 8
No way, aside from the health risks I absolutely hate the smell and would not even chance exposing myself or my kids to it.
Post # 9
@Treejewel19: aside from the smell a baby held against you can actually inhale second hand smoke from your shirt. gak!!!
Post # 10
- Wedding: May 2014 - Royalton White Sands
A friend of mine works at a daycare and babysits a lot and she smokes, but only an e-cigarette. The parents don’t mind because she doesn’t smell like terrible and there’s no secondhand smoke risk.
Post # 11
Nope. I hate the smell of it and wouldn’t have my baby cuddling up with someone who stinks, it’s just gross.
Post # 12
No way. The carcinogens from smoke is retained on the clothing of the person smoking, and I would not want that in my house, much less on a baby. Plus, the smell makes me ill.
Post # 13
- Wedding: June 2014 - Ontario, Canada ♥ EDD- April 2016
Nope, never. For health reasons (second hand smoke) and I wouldn’t want my kids to be around someone who smells like smoke. Also, I wouldn’t want to regularly expose my kids to a habit that I disagree with. I think that I would also have a difficult time knowing that my money would be supporting that habit (especially if they were someone of extreme financial need).
Post # 15
No, I would not hire someone who smokes to look after my (future) child. Especially if she was coming to my house – we don’t allow people to smoke inside or outside of this house. Smoking is just gross.
My mom runs a private home daycare, just herself, and a big selling point for her is that she doesn’t smoke and neither does anyone else living in the house. It’s a 100% smoke free property and people like that.
Post # 16
@MsJ2theZ: 1+ SO and i HATE smoke so no way in hell we would hire someone who smokes. our baby and things would smell like smoke after. no way