Post # 1
4 years ago this month a good friend of mine was murdered. I had a 1 year old at the time never really got to morn his death.
Today I wrote a letter to the person who shot 4 shots in the back of his head during a robbery gone wrong the murder did this for a whole $150.00 . I wrote the letter mostly to help myself heal to put all of my thoughts and memories onto paper.
I finished the letter and took a nap. Fi being the AMAZING guy he is thought he would help me out and look up the address and mail the letter for me.
I was not going to mail this letter I didnt write this letter for him I wrote it for me. Now this person letter with all of my thoughts and feelings full of hurt and anger are on there way to the person who caused these feelings.
I am not sure what to do at this point I know Fi was just trying to help but this is not what I wanted…
I dont even know why i am writing this I dont really have a question to ask and this is mostly just me rambling… But it did help to type it all out.
But I guess I do have 1 question has anyone ever lost a friend like this is there anything you can suggest to help heal? and what do I do if he writes back I dont think I could not read the letter but I dont think that reading it would help me at all it might make things worse.
Post # 3
@MsPanda: *BIG HUG*
I’ve had two friends murdered: one male friend 3 years ago who was killed in a robbery gone wrong and a girlfriend who was murdered by her ex boyfriend. All I can tell you is feel free to cry and smile are the memories. Everyone is allotted a certain time on Earth to serve a purpose. Love them forever in your heart.
Post # 4
@MsPanda: I’m so sorry you had to deal with this terrible situation. I think it’s a difficult thing to navigate. There is no right way to mourn someone you’ve lost in a terrible way. I haven’t had a friend murdered, but my ex-boyfriend’s brother murdered their grandparent then himself this past year. We have been broken up for years, but I viewed these grandparents are my grandparents growing up. I was heartbroken for months afterward.
It’s very hard to understand or comprehend WHY someone would ever kill someone. In their case it was for drug money, and your case a measy amount of cash. It’s senseless and no matter what the reason it happened, it won’t make things better.The best thing you can do is remember and cherish all the good memories you had with your friend and know that their life had a purpose and a meaning to all those who loved them.
Post # 5
@MsPanda: I’m so sorry that you had such an experience. How awful to lose someone like that. I don’t have any experience like that, but I’m sending you my hugs!
As for the letter, I know it’s mail so it’s likely federal law stuff now, but perhaps you could contact the prison (if he’s in prison currently) and tell them that a theraputic letter you wrote was sent by accident without your permisison and that you would really prefer that the sensitive document not be delivered to the person. It’s a bit of a long shot, but seeing as they usually screen prisoner mail anyway, they may be able to pull it if they’re legally allowed to, since it was essentially sent without your permission.
Post # 6
I’m SO sorry for your loss. That is absolutely heartbreaking.
If the murderer does write back, maybe have your FI read it first, and tell you, in vague terms, what the letter is like. (Repentent, manipulative, hostile…) Then you can decide if you want to read it or not, and brace yourself for what it will contain if you do.
Post # 7
I’m so sorry you are going through this. I have no comments other than what the PP said, but I am a tiny bit nervous that this man now has your address (assuming so since there is the possibility that he would write back). If you are concerned about that, it could be worth mentioning to the police in your area just as an FYI.
Chin up, mourning gets a little bit easier as time goes on…but you do have to give yourself in to it. Sounds like you are doing that now.
Post # 8
@kate02121: i thought of the same thing…about her address being on the envelope.
OP, I’m sorry you’re going thru this, and although it didn’t go as planned, I wish you the best in your healing process!
Post # 9
Ya it sucks. We lost my baby brother (17 at the time) in a horrible teenage “situation” gone wrong. He was basically left to bleed to death by some “so called friends”… who were out joy-riding when they offered him a ride when he was walking home… and ending up losing control of the vehicle and having a horrific car accident.
30+ Years on, and I’ve learned how to live with the grief (it devastated my parents, they’ve never been the same since)… BUT it doesn’t mean that it totally goes away.
He was a very kind and gifted / artistic person, cannot imagine how much better the world would be if he was still here today.
On the otherhand, I’ve come to realize that EVERY LIFE has a purpose… he’s made me see the good in ALL People, to understand that Revenge is not a productive emotion. And that there are no doubt countless people who think of him, and miss him too… he touched a lot of lives in his 17 short years.
I am still hurt (not so much angy anymore… gave that feeling up to God)… at the same time, I’ve come to recognize that there is a cost to be paid for this… be it Lady Karma here on earth (she is one H3LL of a B!tch sometimes) or with our maker in the future. Not my waters to navigate… I am certain that one of them will take the rudder… and steer that ship.
BTW… Don’t beat yourself up to hard on Hubby-2-B mailing out the letter. Everything happens for a reason, your words may make a difference, only God will ever know.
Hold tight to your memories, it is how the living hold onto the past, and the passed onto life. They live on in those of us who LOVE them.
(( HUGS ))
Post # 10
I guess I should point out that I am not worried about him having my address I actually went on 1 really bad date with him about 2ish years before all of this happened and before he got into drugs but that just makes things worse. I know a lot of his friends and even some of his family. But I have not talked to him for a year before the murder up until this letter. If he wanted someone to find me he would have no problem.
I do really like the idea of having Fi read the letter if he does write back. I did also call the postal office but they said that they couldnt do anything at this point BUT I should call the prison tomorrow because due to them being wards of the state they dont have the same rights to mail or something like that…
I want to thank everyone for their words and internet Hugs! I know it has been 4 years but today it feels like it just happened yesterday…
Post # 11