- 3 years ago
- Wedding: May 2016
I hate April. HATE IT!!
Yesterday was the 10th anniversary of my mom’s death. She died 3 weeks before I turned 12. After her death my dad and grandfather fought a lot and we were back and forth in court all the time.
That all changed April 28, 2008, the day after my 16th birthday. I got a call telling me that my father passed away. So in a couple of weeks I will turn 22, and then it will be 6 years since I became an orphan.
My mom’s dad has always been like my father. We were closer than I was with my dad and that caused a strain in our relationship. My dad’s parents also haven’t talked to me since the day we buried my dad, even though I’m their only grandchild.
My pawpaw will turn 75 on May 2. Last September he had a stroke, but he did not tell me about it until a month later. Since the stroke, we’ve been dealing with a lot trying to change his will and all of these other things. Lately, his brain has just been getting worse. He’s making things up, not remembering anything, and he just keeps making comments about dying. I’ve been taking him to the nuerologist to try to find some answers and hopefully he can start to help him.
The 5 people that I am close to have all lost a parent, but not both. I’m the only person I know in my situation. It is so hard because I am way too young to be dealing with this. I’m worried about pawpaw, and on top of this I am studying abroad in South Africa this summer so I am about to leave and I have no idea what’s going to happen with pawpaw.
Yesterday was hard because it was a big anniversary and it was on top of everything with pawpaw. I had class yesterday morning, then work, then my meeting for South Africa. I was really hoping work would keep me busy and my mind off of it, but we were so slow. I hid in a corner about 3 times and just cried.
Over the past 10 years my parents have missed a lot: softball games, rodeos, meeting my SO, prom, graduation, and going away to college. I always try to keep myself occupied so I don’t think about it, but it’s been so hard lately. Me and my SO will be engaged soon, then we have to think about our wedding (even though we’ve already planned it). I obviously knew my parents wouldn’t be there to watch me get married, but I always expected pawpaw to be, now I’m not even sure about that at this rate. Then we have to think about them not being here to meet their grandkids. My SO’s mom also died 5 years ago so our kids will really get the short end of the stick when it comes to grandparents. It’s really just so overwhelming right now.
Sorey this became so long. I really hope there are other young bee’a out there that can relate to me, even though it’s an awful situation to be in.