NWR- yesterday was hard, I'm too young for this

posted 3 years ago in Holidays
Post # 2
Member
1049 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

You poor thing 🙁 *virtual hug*

I haven’t been in your situation but I just thought I’d suggest… 

It is always possible to do a little courthouse thing with just you, your FI and your pawpaw, and then continue your wedding as normal, minus the small legalities.  

 

Post # 3
Member
1136 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

ksn1219:  Oh wow i’m so so sorry, it breaks my heart how some people get is so rough *hugs*

Would you consider moving the engagement/wedding planning up a little sooner so your pawpaw can be there? Or as PP suggested, doing something small soon?

I’m sorry to hear he’s going through a rough time at the moment but people can be very strong and it doesn’t necessarily mean bad news is in your near future. The right treamtment and medication can work wonders, you’re doing the right thing by looking in to this for him.

Life can really suck and I feel so awful for you that you have gone through so much already. I hope that this means you have a TONNE of wonderful things coming your way. I also understand your sadness over your children not having many grandparents but they won’t know any different so I don’t think it will affect them as much as it has affected you. I was blessed with an amazing set of grandparents on my mums side but my dads mum died when he was 5 and his dad died when I was really young but it never made a difference to me as I didn’t know any different.

Keep you’re chin up, you are being so strong and good things will come your way xx

Post # 5
Member
63 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

I am so sorry for your losses. I am not in the same situation, but a somewhat similar one. My mom passed away very suddenly of a heart attack a little over 3 years ago (last week, March 30th was the 3 year mark) and planning my wedding without her has been very, very difficult. She was my best friend in the world, and passed away a month before my senior high school prom, graduation, moving into college, getting engaged…she has “missed” so much. While I do still have my dad, I am not very close to him and I know how much more supportive my mom would have been about my fiance and I getting married young and I just know how much she would have loved to help me plan my wedding. 

Just know that you are NOT alone. Although you may not know anyone in your exact same situation, there are plenty of people who have lost loved ones and know how much it hurts. I definitely understand why you would want to do an elopement opposed to a wedding (and I thought about that too!), and I think it will be really great for you and your fiance.

There will be happy days, where you can’t stop smiling when you think about your future. But there will also be crappy days where all you want to do is lay in bed and cry. Those days are HEALTHY, and do not let anyone tell you otherwise! It’s been 3 years and I still have those sad days. They aren’t as frequent as they used to be, but they still happen, especially on mother’s day, her birthday, the death anniversary, etc. While it is very very sad that your SO’s mom has passed too, it is great that you have someone who understands the loss and can comfort you through the hard times (as you can with him as well). My fiance doesn’t understand when I get “grief attacks” and can have a hard time dealing with them.

Again, so sorry for your loss, dear. I’ll be keeping you and your paw-paw in my thoughts and prayers (that’s what I called my grandpa too 🙂 ) 

Post # 6
Member
1136 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

ksn1219:  That’s a really lovely idea re eloping/weddingmoon and the dress/photos especially! There’s no rule saying a wedding has to be done in any particular way, it will be so special no matter how you do it!

And you’re right, your kids will be SO loved no matter what, it sounds likey they and you do still have some great people around you and i’ve always been a firm believer that family doesn’t need to be blood related, family are those who are close to us and love us and support us, no matter where they come from! Our children will also have step-grandparents (both on my side) and I know that will still be so special, and like you said, kids know no different from what they grow up with!

It’s ok to feel lousy about crappy times like these but make sure you talk it out and have the right people around you when you need support. Plus, you always have us here on the bee! 🙂

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