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We kind of were in the same situation...always imagined an NYC wedding, but could have gotten a lot more for our money outside the city. But in the end, we just couldn't give up the idea of having our elegant, classy city wedding. You need to decide what's important to you and whether having your wedding in the city will mean that you won't be able to get the photographer you want, the band/dj you want, etc. Another thing we thought of is that none of our friends have cars because they all live in the city, and so commuting somewhere else would have been difficult for them. Where do most of your friends and family live?
@TribecaBride: I live in NYC and absolutely LOVE the city, but we will be getting married outside in Maine.
Both FI and I are low key people and the city just seemed TOO extravagant for us. Our wedding size is going to be under 100 and I felt a party like that would be dwarfed by the city, and all the outdoor spaces are so popular AND expensive.
When we went up to Maine, it just had the right feel. It could still be very elegant and romantic, but without the super formality of the city. Plus this way we can have a waterfront wedding without ferries, water taxis, etc everywhere.
Only having been a tourist to NYC I can see why you'd want the city pictures and experience
Even though there are many parts of the city that I love, it wasn't hard for us to decide to have our wedding outside of the city. (I think living here has made me appreciate nature a lot more).
Part of why we chose our venue (Bear Mountain, about an hour outside of the city) is because it's so pretty and the season will really stand out. (We're having it in fall, and I really really wanted the nature/seasonal feel to play a role). It sounds like wanting a "winter wonderland" feel would take on such a different and beautiful feel than could be achieved in the city. And I think upstate/outside of the city NY is SOOOO beautiful.
I guess some things to consider are what kind of vibe you'd want for the wedding...NYC is very cool and hip and flashy, and nature is very everything the opposite of that. :-) So maybe take that into account. Also, if it's $100 less a person...well depending on how many people you're having...say you were having 150, that's $15,000 less to have it outside of the city, or $15,000 more to have it in NYC. So, is NYC worth $15,000?
And in regards to pictures...the NYC pics would be awesome...what if you guys did engagement pics? or even post wedding pics with your full outfits on? (And, if you were saving on the venue, you'd have that extra money for pics! :-) )
I think whatever you do, it'll be beautiful. Though I have to say I love the New York State nature, and think a wedding in that setting takes on a much different sort of beauty than the city woud allow.
I too live in NYC, but have decided to head upstate for the wedding. We're getting married in Albany. I knew right away that it was just be so much more affordable, plus most of my friends and family already live there so they won't have to travel!
I agree with the PP about getting epics in the city. FI and I are thinking about doing that ourselves, because NYC just has so many great opportunities for awesome photos!
For me, I really wanted to save the money and upstate NY really is beautiful!!
When I think January in the city, I think about the yucky slush.... When I think January in upstate NY, I think winter wonderland!!
I'm in NYC, but we really didnt even consider NYC and opted for Vermont (basically same as up state) We knew it would be much more money here, but that isnt exactly what stopped us. It was the backdrop and the serenity and pace of things. So really I think thats what you need to consider. If you really want an NYC wedding, you can always make it work. You just need to consider the vibe your after.
Thanks everyone for your comments! The e-pics in the city is a great idea and definitely something to think about.
As far as traveling for our guests, upstate would be much easier for my family because most of them already live there, including my grandparents who don't travel well, so that is a big plus for upstate. But its the exact opposite for my fiance's family because they would all be flying and NYC is more centrally located, they wouldn't have to rent cars, etc. Also, they are from the south and are TERRIFIED of the snow. I keep trying to explain that it practically snows 6 months out of the year up there so snow removal is down to a science and is nothing to worry about. I actually think we would have more problems with snow here in the city....but something to consider.
I think what my real concern with upstate is that my vision won't be realized or things will not be sophisticated???? With most of my family and friends still living upstate I have been to my fair share of weddings in the area, and while they were all wonderful in their own way, they were definitely not what I would personally choose so I am having a hard time imagining my own wedding in that setting. Although, to be fair I have never been to a wedding at the Otesaga.
We chose to have our wedding in the city - I definitely wanted the look you are talking about and I love that it's where we met. More importantly though, both families will be traveling in and we figured if we did something not too far out of the city it would actually be more difficult for transportation. Plus it is easier on our friends! We are lucky enough to have the means to do it, but whatever you choose will definitely be beautiful. You can host an amazing wedding anywhere :)
@TribecaBride: I feel you. My family is in TX and I live here and my vision of my wedding leaves my mother scratching her head but we will pull it off. Have you looked at Mrs. Star? She was a blogger bee and she had a New York City wedding but I have to admit, her pictures after the wedding were awesome! I like you, love the city. So...., after marrying in TX, I shall come here and pay a photographer to follow me in all my wedding finery PLUS A BOUQUET and I shall go to the Botanical Garden near my house, the train, take a yellow cab and end up at the Metropolitan Opera. Yes ladies, I'm getting my photo shot!
How many out of town guests are you having? We live in California and just attended a beautiful wedding at the Tribeca Loft two weekends ago. Both the bride and groom live in Manhattan but are from Chicago and I know that we (in addition to all of the other guests) loved going to their wedding in the city since there was so much for us to all do. The food at the Tribeca Loft was absolutely fantastic as well. I've never seen this, but you did not select your entree until you were there and a waitor asked you as if you were ordering from a restaurant - I really liked this added touch.
I would normally vote upstate since I am an upstate (Lake George) bride but January up here can be very unpredictable. That is when we tend to get the majority of our snow. I have personally experienced it so bad to the point where state of emergencies have been declared and residents have been urged to not leave their homes! My concern is that we could get hit with a crazy storm that would shut down the airport. On the other hand, it could be like last year where we hardly got any snow, there's just no way of knowing. I do love Cooperstown though!
We had the LI vs. Upstate debate for a long time. And though money was a huge reason to do it upstate... we chose to do it on LI simply for the fact that im too much of a conttrol freak to do things site unseen and i dont know if I would have the time to be traveling back and forth upstate... id be planning my wedding 100% alone or from LI
I think it might seem easier for your FI's family to travel to NYC, but keep in mind that the city can be overwhelming for first-time visitors... and it's an expensive visit. Not that I think you should do one thing or the other - I would've killed for an NYC wedding, but going to the burbs made it so much more affordable, and we were able to have a much nicer event.
I understand your conundrum! I just had. to. have. our wedding in the city because of the photo ops, the plethora of vendors, the uniqueness of our venues, etc. The list goes on. But we did pay a high price in having to cut corners that we wouldn't have had to cut if we'd done it in the 'burbs. I think you should make the decision based on whether it's worth it to you to sacrifice some of the super luxe items that you could have upstate for the city wedding feel. I will say it would have been much easier to do it somewhere else, but our wedding was so unique here that I don't think anyone will ever forget it! Either way, I'm SURE your wedding will be just lovely. Good luck!
I just got married at The W and Union Square so I may be a little biased! It was amazing! My out of town guests actually loved the fact it was in the city - it gave them a reason for them to come - even my grandmother who hasn't been to NYC in 20 years and is not a city person at all remarked how amazing it was and what a good time she had! The room at The W was elegan and lovely (I'll attach a pic) - So my vote is for the city! : ) Good luck!
The only halfway decent venue upstate (I'm talking as upstate as Saratoga-- which is a good 90 mins? from Cooperstown and 2 hrs north from the city) that resembles the pic that lauren810c posted is the Hall of Springs. Even I thought that was too far from me, in ALBANY, which is only like 25 minutes south of Saratoga lol...I too want a very metropolitan feel that unfortunately upstate NY does not give off especially compared to NYC right below us...so I've been looking at the Empire State Plaza. Downtown Albany. Modern architecture everywhere. "the egg" in the background. 2 sec from all of downtown. Probably the most metropolitan area of all upstate since Albany is the capital. Catering would only be around 70 pp...not bad eh? And this is a top notch caterer in this area! Even Hall of Springs in Saratoga goes up to 100 pp which is really nothing compared to anything in the city from what I've looked into.
I think though if you incorporate the nyc feel into your ceremony/reception, you can pull it off upstate. But do whatever your heart (and budget maybe 
) tells you to do so you don't regret it!
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Hi Everyone,
My fiance and I live in Manahattan and from the second we were engaged I thought I wanted a city wedding. We've looked at a ton of venues, and were pretty much decided on the W Union Square, even though it is at the very top of our price range.
Then last week, while we were visiting my parents upstate, we decided to check out the Otesaga Resort in Cooperstown -- just to make sure. As it turns out, we really liked it even though its a historic property and a completely different look from the W.
I love the small town charm of Cooperstown and the idea of getting all our friends and family together to celebrate for the weekend in a way that wouldn't happen in the city, I am almost guaranteed to have snow (wedding is in January and I want that winter wonderland feel)...and oh yeah, the Otesaga is about $100/person cheaper than the W so I wouldn't have to blow our budget on the location, and would have money left over to do all the creative, small things I want to do.
But...I just can't get the image of a city wedding out of my head...photos of us near the Bklyn bridge, with a taxi cab, etc. Am I being ridiculous?? How did you guys decide on your venues?