Post # 1
Hey bees, so I have a guest list etiquette question. My FI and I have almost finalized the list, but his grandma has created a small issue for us. She has a pretty large extended family and probably expects that we are inviting them since FI’s cousin invited them to her wedding. We have discussed with his grandma that we are having a smaller, more intimate wedding but anyways, we weren’t planning to invite our extended families.
FI’s grandma has mentioned the date to extended family members and one of them is now making us a beautiful quilt as a wedding gift at the suggestion of FI’s grandma.
Here’s my question: if someone gets or makes us a wedding gift, are we obligated to invite them? I feel terrible that she is putting time into this gift and we weren’t planning to invite her. We had to draw the line somewhere. If we invite her, we would need to invite at least 20 other family members on that side. It’s not an unreasonable number, but FI doesn’t even know most of those family members.
I have a feeling we are going to offend many people in the family if we don’t invite them. Definitely could use some advice on how to handle this!! Thanks!
Post # 4
- Wedding: October 2014 - Greenbrier Country Club
no. You don’t have to invite her.
Post # 5
No. You are not obligated to invite this individual to your wedding. All that you will owe to her will be a note of thanks for her thoughtful and generous gift.
Post # 6
- Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA
Nope, sometimes people just get or make you wedding gifts because they’re excited for you, even though they’re not invited. There’s no expectation to invite just based on the gift.
However, I would make sure that your grandma knows who is invited. You don’t want her going around insinuating that all her extended family is invited. It’ll be way less awkward to talk to her asap about this, than to deal with a bunch of incorrect assumptions. Have your FI’s mom or dad get on that asap.
Post # 7
I would give her a favour (if you are planning to give one at your wedding) 🙂
Post # 8
You never have to invite anyone, but it seems like grandma hinted that they are being invited. If that’s the case, the situation needs to be dealt with.
Make sure you write a lovely, heartfelt thank you for the quilt, as they can be very tiring and time-consuming to make!
Post # 9
Nope, but you need to make sure Grandma stops spreading your information around!