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In another thread, a poster observed that many people would choose the number of kids to have based on the number of college educations they felt they could afford. I was curious how many people believe that as a parent, there is an obligation to pay for the college education of your children. (We are not talking in a perfect world where we are all rich and can pay without blinking an eye, but for the average Joe s'Mo, with much sacrifices involved.) It'd be great if you can share whether your belief matches up with how your parents handled the situation.
For me, my parents paid a sum equal to a good state school and I paid the rest with loans and outside scholarships. I feel this made me appreciate my education more than if I didn't contribute to it, but wasn't unduly burdensome that I worried how to pay it back (some of the loans were interest-free from my parents) nor did it take away from my parent's ability to retire. I could have gotten through free at other places, but I chose a more expensive school that didn't offer merit scholarships.
While I'd like to be able to provide a full ride for my kids wherever they'd want to go, I feel only an obligation to pay the equivalent of tuition at a good state school (this is in part because I expect my kids to get a college education or the equivalent at some place such as a culinary school, depending on their dreams). I plan to agressively save when I have kids, and I will try to pay more, but I don't feel it is my responsibility to do so, just as I don't feel that my parents wronged me by not paying more for me.
we're not planning on having children but have already offered financial support to my niece for university
in australia we have something called HECS, meaning you go to university but not pay for it until you earn over $45K and even then you are paying only 4% of your income in HECS fees, the max is 8%
we offered to support my nieces college because most degrees offer a discount (some 50% disc) if you prepay
I am paying for my college on my own with a federal grant and student loans. I know my parents can't afford to put me through college and that is one reason I decided to take the step to put myself in school. I just started yesterday and I'm 32, so I don't think is really is an obligation. If some parents can do it, then it's really up to them. But I won't be basing my children on school either. I will have whatever I get pregnant with and we will do what we need to do for the future. Things happen for a reason.
My experience was similar to yours excpet I went to a small liberal arts college, though, instead of a state school...my parents contributed the amount it would have been for a state school and I had scholarship and loans for the rest. I also have that appreciation you express, and I would like to have the same set-up for my kids.
Also, I am a college professor at a state school. So, I see the whole range... from kids with everything paid for by their parents, some of who waste it away, to adults who have raised their kids and are working their butts off to finally have their chance to go to school.
So, some help is good...it's tough to really study and get through in a timely manner if you have to work full time to pay for school. But so contribution is good, too...school is less likely to be taken for granted when someone knows they are responsible for part of the cost.
I had zero private university debt and I am extremely grateful. However, we wouldn't limit the number of children we have based on projected future income. We'll save for college... we'll do our best to give what we can to each child regardless of where they go... We do however want to send our kids to k-8 private school at min.... which is about 6k a year (now) per kid... oy
We have one on the way and honestly, I think we'll pay as much as we can save up until Wombat (our baby's nickname) goes off to college. It's very important to me that we offer something as I am paying for everything by myself, which makes things very difficult for my husband and I now.
In my opinion, over 18 = my education is my responsibility. I got through on scholarships and student loans. I didn't expect my parents to give me money for anything once I went to college and was "on my own".
It would be nice if I could provide some help to my future kids, but I think it's "something nice" not a "requirement".
My parents did not help. I am now 20k in debt. I hope to be able to help my daughter and soon to be stepson.
The DH and I have already discussed this that we would like to pay for our children's education or part of it, but we hope that they do not expect us to. MIL paid for some of DH's college education and my family didn't help out. We want our kids to work for it.
ETA: I admit that I do have a lot of school debt. Yes, I would like less of it but I did learn a lot from having to pay for it on my own. In college I had less of the partying and more of the studying/working. The job that I have now really shows how hard I worked in school.
I don't think they have an obligation to pay but if they can afford it, I think they should. Why not set your child up for the best possble future?
I don't feel it's the sole responsibility of the parent to pay for their child's education. I think it's important for them to help when possible if they can afford it. My mother didn't pay for any of my sister's higher education, but would send them a couple hundred dollars here and there to help out when she had the money to spare. My DH and I plan to help a little bit with our children's college, but we'll encourage them to work a few hours a week during High School and the summer to help cover what they can.
I would LOVE to be able to pay for my children to go to college and plan to help them as much as possible, but I'm not going to let that dictate how many kids I have. My parents paid for my first year of school and then after that I was on my own. I still have student loans, but no regrets and no resentment that my parents weren't able to help me more.
My husband's parents paid for his fancy degree, so he feels like he needs to do the same for our children, but we just aren't sure it's realistic.
My parents contributed only $500 towards my education. I have paid for everything out of pocket, no student loans just working full time and payment plans through the school. I do think that parents should help their children with their education as long as it is within their means to do so. My parents could afford to but they chose not too. I feel that after putting 18 years into a child, molding them to be the people that they are today why stop helping them when they are trying to develop themselves.
That is one of my main goals in life. I am always trying to save money so I can send my little girl to college someday =) then pf course for any other children I have too. My parents aren't able to help me financially with anything, so to me it is important to be able to give these things to my children.
ETA I don't think parents are obligated, it mostly depends on the whole situation and such =)
My DH and I have discussed this extensively. I do not believe we should pay for our children's education. Both my DH and I paid for our own and believe it was the best thing for us. It was hard, but many valuable lessons were learned. We have discussed, that if we are financially able to, having a sum of money that the kids can either use for a downpayment on a home, or the last two years of college. Their choice....but who knows on that part.
I think it's definitely something you should plan for and the amount will differ greatly based on means. My mom was single when I went to college and she and I both took loans. I was lucky that the UC system in CA was much cheaper then so it didn't make any sense to go to a private school. I will help my children as much as I am able to and will start planning early. I want my child to go to the best school that they are able to but I don't think more expensive degrees are necessarily better. I think it makes sense to have the number of children that you can afford to have (at least to provide for basic needs). College is extra, but should definitely be thought about...
My parents paid for both me and my brother to go to college. they also paid for our living expenses in college as they wanted us to focus on school and not worry about working and making money. I paid for my post graduate education with student loans.
I don't see paying for college as an obligation. But I know that I want to be able to do whatever necessary to help my kids succeed in life and these days that's highly impossible without a college education. So yes, my decision on how many kids to have is directly tied to how many private school tuitions and college educations I can afford. I think it would be my job as a parent to help my kids in general any way I could. I've been very fortunate to have amazing parents that help me anytime and with anything I may need.
It is important to both DH and myself to be able to pay for our children's college education since both of our parents paid for each of ours. We are financially looking to pay for in-state tuition only and if our child/children choose an out of state school then our expectation would be that they would need scholarships to fund the additional costs.
My parents did not pay for my schooling. I paid for my college with loans and grants. I personally believe that you should do what you can for your children. I plan to save as much as possible for my children to go to college. Whether that covers their whole schooling or not that is yet to be seen. I think contributing and making the college experiance barible, by standards of not having to work every single day of college just to be able to afford it or loans you'll spend 30 years paying off, is something I would want for them.
My parents automatically deposited money every single month from the day me and each of my siblings were born. They were able to pay for 4 years at an in-state public school (aka, for where I grew up, Purdue, Indiana University, Ball State, etc). Anything beyond that (added semesters, out-of-state, private school, etc) was on us kids to provide for ourselves either through scholarships, loans, etc.
We all knew what was available when we were looking at schools and knew what sacrafices we would need to make if we didn't want to stay in-state public school. I choose to go out of state and covered the rest of my tuition through scholarships. My sister stayed in-state at Indiana University. I graduated and she will graduate without any loans.
I plan to do the same thing for DH's and my future children as my parents did for me. As parents, it is your job to help your children reach a point where they can be sucessful in this world and society and IMO, college or some other higher education is close to a necessity for that to happen. Therefore, it should be on parents to help with college as best as they can and to plan ahead for that expense that they know is coming.
I definitely will be saving up to pay for whatever college they choose to go to, but they will be on their own for graduate school.
I would not have children unless I knew that I could support them through college. For that reason, we will only have 1-2 children. I had to support myself - and my mom - while I put myself through school. I do not want my children to struggle like that. If i can't ensure that my children have access to an education, I don't think I would personally want to bring them into the world.
My parents gave me several thousand dollars a semester for classes, and I was responsible for the rest (it didn't quite cover tuition at a state school). I really appreciated everything they gave me and it forced me to be responsible (i.e. have a job). Now I'm in a professional program where a lot of people's parents pay for both undergrad and professional school (think medical, dental, pharmacy, vet, etc). It was a bit of a culture shock to me! I've always had to work in addition to school, and some of the students have never held a job... ever (not even part-time-one-summer-in-an-icecream-shop type of job). I definitely value the experiences that I gained by having to work through school. It sucks that I will have about $200K in loans from professional school by the time I'm done (because my parents aren't paying anything towards grad school), but I could never expect them to! I'm an adult.
My husband's parents didn't give him anything. It's been a struggle for him to finish school because he spends so much time working and it's hard to concentrate on studying/classes in the evening when he's been at work all day! He's almost done, but he would have definitely been done sooner if he had even a little help. He didn't expect that from his parents thought.
We will probably provide some money for tuition to our (future) children, but not necessarily the whole amount. It will be agreed among far ahead of time, and the children will know the amount so they can make the decision about where to attend, how to pay for the rest, etc.
I don't think that you shouldn't have a kid unless you think you'll be able to pay for their college, but I do think that if you have kids, when the time comes... you should help to the best of your ability. (Although if you could afford to just write a check for the whole thing I don't really think you should... I think kids should always have to pay at least 20% or something so they really value the education)
My parents did not pay for college or law school. In college, my mother paid my rent junior and senior year, but I paid for all other living expenses. I think parents should be responsible and do what they can for their children. As a parent, if you can afford to throw a few bucks a month into a college savings account, then you should. I don't think people of limited means shouldn't have children just b/c they can't afford to send them to college though.
I expect my child/children to attend college therefore I cannot very well tell them they are on their own in paying for it. I feel like, since I have certain expectations of them, they in turn can have expectations from me. I will not be giving blanket allowances for partying money during school, though. They can get part-time jobs for beer money! If their grades are good, though, they can get some money here and there.
We will not be paying for our childrens education. Some may find that a bit harsh, but neither my husband nor I had anyone else pay for our education but ourselves. What we will do is start a savings, maybe a CD or something else with a higher interest return when they are born and put money into each that account each month, not a large sum but something. When they turn 18 they can use that money if they choose to travel or go on to further their education; whatever they wish. My inlaws did this and it worked perfectly. My DH actually only took half of his money and went to school and the rest he banked in savings and stocks and made more profit off of it i.e. most of our house building down payment. Going to college is a personal decision and if you want it, you go for it and you get it on your own is my philosphy. We will be supportive in other ways. Will we be paying for them to go to school, party and nothing else? No. I have that happening now with a family member and she is about to graduate with no work experience and still asking mom for money each month. I am sorry, I do not think a 21 year should be asking mom and dad for money each month. I worked 2 jobs and went to school fulltime and I got by just fine.
In my culture the parents always pay through higher education, it goes without saying. Kids live at home and are not expected to work until they graduate from college. This is why you hardly see any families except the uber-rich that have more than two kids. Luckily the best universities in our home country are state-operated and don't cost much. Nowadays though, most parents are also scrambling to send their kids to the US for their masters or PhD's which obviously cost a lot. Because I was raised that way, I would absolutely do the same for my kid. I feel kinda bad for my husband that he didn't have the same opportunities growing up and had to work while going to school. It took him eight years to get his degree and he still has student loans to pay off. I wouldn't want my kid to start off life like that.
My parents didn't pay a cent toward my education: I went to an (expensive) private college of my choice and paid my way through with scholarships, work study, and working full time at multiple jobs. My husband's sister actually paid for his education, and he paid all of his living expenses by working full time. We're paying for our grad degrees out of pocket.
Even if we could, we don't believe in funding college 100% for our kids. We've decided that we will pay for 100% of our children's educational costs (tuition, books, school fees, etc...) but our children will be expected to work at least part time and to fully cover their living expenses while at school. It wasn't always easy paying for school myself, but I think I learned a lot about budgeting, working hard, and being a responsible adult from my experiences.
Undergraduate debt (whether from Federal or private loans) IMO is the worst thing that you could saddle your children with from the date they graduate until when they pay off their loans. My husband has both types of loans and his parents went so far as to make sure that his loans were enough to have "play money" with. I find this practice horrible, especially since they could have paid easily for where he went.
Student loans do not make a person stronger or add character.
As for post graduate work, like becoming a lawyer or doctor, one usually has to take out loans, but you usually end up make more in salary to cover them easier than undergraduate loans.
This is a debt now that both of us pay easily $700+ for each month. It's not just him they made deal with student loans.
No, I don't think it's the parents obligation to pay for college. If they have the means to and offer then I think thats great but I don't think anyone is entitled to having their college paid for for them.
The college that I did attend was paid for by my parents and grandmother but if they wouldn't have paid for it, I would have taken out a loan. I don't know a single person who's parents paid for their entire education. Most college graduates/attenders that I know didn't have any financial support from their parents and now they are working to pay back their student loans.
We're planning on having one child and I hope that we're financially able to help our kid pay for their education but if we can't, we can't. Theres really no way to know what the future will bring.
I think that if parents are able to help in some way for their child's education, then they should help. I want to have a kid in 5 years. In 23 years they will be going off to college. Can you imagine how much more college is going to be on 2034? With inflation it is going to be more ridiculous than it is now. I would feel somewhat comfortable having a fund for my child's education once theyre born. I can't guarantee a lot, but at least there will be some money going in.
I was very fortunate to have my parents pay for 75% of my education. I am still $25,000 in debt though. It will take me 7 years to pay that off. I can't even imagine if I had triple that amount.
I don't think parents are obliged to provide a college education at all, but i certainly will pay for all mine to attend, provided they go for something worthy and get some scholarships. Something that can make a decent living, you know? I'm not paying 100K for my kid to learn some fluffy skills or get a degree that isn't going to do them any good or think "oh mommy's paying I'll go to X that is 50K a year" and have fun. That's not necessary. If he/she wants to go to a school that expensive, i'll provide a certain amount and they can cover the rest or they can go on a sports scholarship or something. DH paid for his education by serving in the military and thinks we should encourage that option. But i'll certainlly pay for a fair option.
My parents paid for all of mine and my rent and expenses. It was never a question growing up. They wanted me to go and felt it was vital. I got a summer job to pay for things I needed--gas, extra food, etc. I'm incredibly grateful that I'm out and debt free. I also have a good job, so I'm grateful they could help set me up so I could succeed once I was out. They wouldn't pay for additional or advanced schooling, though, and I managed to get a job that pays for my masters.
If we can afford it, why not? Hopefully my children are just as intelligent as DH and me and just as appreciative of having a paid-for college education. I want the best for my children--and that means the best financial start in life. And that means no debt and a good education!
If their income disqualifies the child from financial aid then yes, the parents are obligated to at least help out. I didn't go back to school until I was in my early twenties so by that time, I had been working and was able to get the financial aid I needed to pay for everything myself. If I had gone to college straight from high school then I would have expected my parents to pay for everything since my Dad could have easily paid for a years tuition, housing, and books at a state school with one months pay. I think it would have been profoundly unfair for him NOT to pay for that, in fact. My attitude is "If you're rich and you don't pay for your kid's undergraduate education then you're a giant asshole"
I'll help my kids out in any way that I can but I already know I'll never have enough money to pay for their entire college education. :(
I also had to get through school on my own merits, whereas my husband got it handed to him by his parents. You can definitely see a discrepancy in our high school GPAs because he knew he didn't have to try (he's certainly smart, just didn't apply himself to school). So my plan is we are saving for our retirement first and foremost. Hopefully we will be able to afford their college, but even if we can, I won't be telling them until their first tuition bill comes. Because if they think they have to work for it, I think they will appreciate it more. :)
PS: I voted "No Obligation"
Both my husband and I feel personally that helping to pay for college is one of the obligations of deciding to have children. Both our parents started saving when we were born, and paid for a portion of school - we then both had to take out federal and private loans to continue (and both of us worked while in school). I want to saddle my children with as little debt as possible. We both view college as a necessity; and think having at least a B.A./B.S. will only become more of a necessity in the future. I currently pay over $600/month just towards student loans and I don't have a crazy amount of loans) - I don't want my children to be faced with that (or more), when they are trying to start out in their adult lives. That $600 could go towards retirement, towards paying our mortgage off much faster, or buying investment property - all which would help to secure my own future.
I know a number of people that have no intention of saving even $5 towards their children's educations. Unless the FAFSA rules change in the next 20 years, all parents (families) are required to pay a portion towards tuition - its assumed that parents will put something away towards college expenses, and its automatically factored into what a student is awarded in grants/federal loans. The parents income is also factored into what children receive, so if you make a decent wage and don't put anything away for college, IMO you're really doing yourself and your children a disservice. A girl I went to high school got into college but couldn't go in the end because her family was unable to come up at the couple grand that FAFSA calculated as her "family contribution". She worked for a few years, then went, but that still sucks all around.
I certainly doubt we'll be able to save enough for them to go to graduate school debt-free, but we would like to be able to cover most/all of undergrad, if possible.
i was raised under the assumption that it's my parents' obligation to pay for my undergraduate degree, wherever i chose to go, and any further education would be on my dime. i'm so grateful that i was able to pursue higher education with no debt.
fi's family is very different -- his parents put absolutely nothing toward his or his siblings' educations. because of this, we are drowning in debt. honestly, i feel a little resentful toward his parents sometimes; i have to remind myself that i was lucky enough to have parents who were willing and able to fund my education.
fi and i will save aggressively for our kids' educations. we have talked about possibly having 2 children instead of 3 for this very reason (i still want 3 though!)
i was talking to a coworker today, and the price of her daughter's private school tuition (she'll be starting in the fall) is already $15k more than what mine was just 6 years ago...i'm terrified of what the price will be in 20+ years!
I voted Other. While I don't think parents are/should be obligated to pay for their kids' college, they definitely should make an effort and do so if it's within their means. (Which means saving as they go if at all possible.)
When each of us was born, my grandfather opened an account and socked money away every year. We then had the option to go to whatever school we wanted. Luckily for me, our state university has one of the best programs for my major. Between that and spending it wisely, I was able to make it all the way through and still have a few thousand left. I know I"m incredibly fortunate to have any student debt. Oh, and college was pretty much a given. We didn't ever think of not going. It was just ingrained in us that that's what you do after high school, just like middle school follows elementary school. We also knew that we had a college fund before we graduated high school.
J's mom was in no shape to help him out so all of his education was funded by loans and scholarships. We're still paying them off but it's not overwhelming.
@Meealissa: If their income disqualifies the child from financial aid then yes, the parents are obligated to at least help out.
That's a good point. I definitely agree with that.
My parents didn't pay anything towards my college education. Luckily I had a full scholarship so I don't have any college debt. I don't think they were obligated to pay for my college expenses at all. For my daughter, and any future kids, my hope is that they will be able to get scholarships like I did, but barring that, I plan to pay for undergrad. I am not sure about grad school though.
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