Post # 1
Hello all —
I need some advice on invites for an intimate ceremony. FI and I are having a very small destination wedding of about 30 or so (immediate family and closest friends). I have a really tight knit group of friends that I met my first year of college and have been close with ever since. Our senior year, another fellow got added mix by rooming with a few of my male friends. We’ve never been close – in fact we’ve lived close geographically for four years since college and only seen each other at our official reunions (whereas I see my other friends several times a year even though we live in different states). He is closer to other friends in our group, but still a bit of an odd person out.
So my question is, do I need to invite him because I’m inviting everyone else in this group despite the fact the two of us have never been close? If we were having a larger wedding there would be no question for me — of course I’d invite him. However, given the intimate nature of our wedding, I’m uneasy about inviting someone I’m not close to at all (especially when I’m leaving out others who I am closer to). Thoughts?
Post # 3
Will you still have to see him regularly in social settings? Do you see yourself wanting to continue the friendship in the future? Do you think he would even come if extended the invite?
Post # 4
I vote no. You don’t have to invite someone just because you share mutual friends and see each other occasionally in your social circle. This is not a vacation for him to attend with friends. It’s your wedding.
Post # 5
@les105: We typically have a get-together about once a year or every few years, so I would still continue to see him at those events. I don’t have an active interest in continuing our relationship — we’ve been an hour away for years and never made a point to see each other. However, I also understand that some of my close friends may perceive him to be part of the group and don’t want to create any awkwardness or animosity there. For some reason, I really do believe he would come if we invited him (and his gf we’ve never met which is a whole ‘nother issue)
Post # 7
I think you’re ok leaving him out, but I would follow the workplace rules for any meetings between now and the wedding – if asked how the wedding is, answer in one sentance, and then move on to a different subject, to avoid drama.