Post # 1
Hi, I’d like some advice on a present that we received for our wedding from a colleague of mine. First, please know that I am grateful for all of my friends and family for celebrating our wedding with us and gifts are not the most important things to us.
Before the wedding, my colleague would stop by my office often to say that she couldn’t wait to get me something special and kept saying how excited she was to look through our registry to get us something really nice. She and her husband sent us a one dinner place setting from our registry that was about $40. It’s odd to me that anyone would send a newly married couple one place setting (vs two place settings or something that the couple could share) and it’s odd to me that she picked one of the least expensive gifts on there more so since she kept swinging by to let me know how special her gift would be. She’s pretty well off and I guess I was expecting something different.
We’re about to send out thank you cards. Should I say something or just be happy that they attended? It’s just that I would never send a newly married couple one place setting… something that they couldn’t share. It almost seems like bad luck…
Thank you for your advice here.
Post # 3
One of your least expensive gifts was $40? I don’t mean to be rude, but if I wasn’t close to someone, I don’t think I would spend $80 to buy two place settings. Maybe she could only afford a gift of $40 and didn’t realize that there wasn’t much on your registry in that price range?
It is sort of weird that she kept talking up her gift before hand though. I would just honestly thank her for the present and that’s it.
Post # 4
I’ve given one place setting before, but it was certainly a lot more money than $40. (more like triple that), and never thought it wasn’t enough. Most people will give one place setting that I know, so I don’t think it’s odd at all.
Maybe she had some sudden bad luck and had to change her gift plans?
You can’t really mean you want to say something about her gift not being enough or bad luck,do you?
Post # 5
I don’t think its odd to give one place setting. Just thank them for attending and for their gift.
Post # 6
I wouldn’t say anything at all! Just thank her for the lovely gift. You have to work with her so that wouldn’t be right. If you got married in July shouldn’t your thankyous already have gone out like 5 months ago? Sorry. It is odd however that she decided to talk it up so much and give you so little.
Post # 7
I agree that it seems odd to receive only one place setting (especially one that was $40). Was this gift physically brought to your wedding or was it delivered to your home? If it was brought to your wedding then I would assume she knew what she was giving you. However, if it was delivered to you directly from the stores website then maybe the store messed up and didn’t include the whole gift. Either way, I would not say something about it. Just send her a thank you card thanking her for the “place setting”. That way if there really was supposed to be more to the gift, she can initiate the conversation.
Post # 8
Thank you for your responses and for letting me know that it’s not odd to give one place setting. She’s actually a friend and a colleague so it seemed odd after she kept telling me how special of a present it was going to be. And, she hasn’t had any financial hardships. I guess I just felt bad after making sure she had a special present for her kid’s first birthday with more thought put into it. Anyway, I appreciate your input.
Post # 9
I wouldn’t say anything about the gift. That may be all that she could spend, and you registered for it, so she probably felt like she is giving you something you really want.
I was in grad school two years ago when a friend from high school got married. I could only afford to send the mixing bowls she registered for. I felt pretty crappy about it…but sometimes that’s the way it goes!
Post # 10
It’s definitely weird that she would talk up her gift so much and then give you something that’s kinda useless by itself, but if I were you I’d just be happy she was so excited about my wedding and thank her graciously for the gift.
It’s probably best to try not to compare her gift to you with something you gave to her kid–some people are just bad gift-givers. I have family members who are loaded and give the worst, cheapest gifts ever.
Post # 11
I attended a shower this weekend where the bride received a single place setting as a gift. I don’t think it’s an unusual gift. In this case, the bride made a joke about her FI having to eat off the table, since it was only one place setting.
Of course it’s odd that your friend seemed to have something so special in mind, maybe she had another gift in mind but someone had already purchased it, or you didn’t register the way she had expected?
It’s very touchy to ask about a gift without sounding critical or ungrateful, so I would tread carefully if you truly feel it necessary to ask her, or, as many others have suggested, just let it go and thank her!