Post # 1
I am flying home to see my family this month. I have not seen them all since before I got married in August 2012. I wasn’t planning on going for a while longer (didn’t really want to see them), but my Gram is declining dramatically since breaking her hip (she’s 95) and I figured I probably want to see her one more time before I have to fly back home for her funeral. 🙁
My dad passed away in June 2012. He died at home in his room, in his bed. I was there holding him has he sighed his last breaths.
My mom turned that room into a guest room. She put in new carpeting, painted the walls, took out all of dad’s clothes (they had separate bedrooms) – but it’s the same bed and mattress.
Would you be able to sleep in this bed if you were a guest?
My sister – who is a nurse – had no qualms about it. In fact she slept in that bed 2 days after my dad died in that same bed. The house was filled with my sisters and spouses, so people had to sleep somewhere. Neither myself nor my other sister (also a nurse) and our spouses could do it.
Now 8 months have past and I’m flying home soon and will need to figure out where I’m going to sleep although the house won’t be filled with people this time.
There are other options like a blow up bed in the computer room or the couch in the living room.
Post # 3
When my dad passed away, I slept on his side of the bed for months. It just felt comforting to me. It was comforting to my mom as well because there was a body there next to her.
Post # 4
- Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL
Nope. I wouldn’t be able to get the thought out of my head, especially since grandma is also ill and possibly going to follow dad. I would probably have a panic attack and end up on the couch or at least in another room.
Post # 5
I would attempt it because it was your dad not a stranger but that is up to you, I don’t think it’s creepy etc if he died peacefully, I might actually find it comforting.
Post # 6
@Rubbs: I am sorry about your father. Did he pass away in his bed too?
I have not returned home since he passed away 8 months ago so this is my first visit home without dad there.
I am not sure what I’ll do. That moment where he last breathed is something I think about often (such an experience) and it happened in that bed. Then I laid on the bed with him after he passed for a while before the morgue took him away.
Gah! I am already crying at work.
Post # 7
I said no only because I don’t think I could. Everyone is different though. I am very sorry for his passing and your grandma’s declining health 🙁
Post # 8
I’d do it. I don’t see it as squicky or gross, but I totally get the mental factor.
Post # 9
I don’t see a problem with it, it sounds like it was peaceful. I don’t think it would bother me (never been in that situation though).
Sorry about your father and grandma, OP.
It’s not like something violent happened there (in that case, I don’t think anyone would want to sleep in that bed).
Post # 10
I personally would find it comforting.
Sorry for your loss.
Post # 11
My dad also passed away at home, in my parent’s bed, after a lengthy battle with cancer. I’ve slept in my parent’s bed since then ( when my DH and I visit, my mom sometimes insists we stay in her room with the big bed). It hasn’t been a problem for me.
I also still wearing a pair of my dad’s PJ pants to sleep in, I have a couple of his favorite Tshirts that I wear, and my husband wears a lot of his old ski gear. =) I like it, it makes me feel close to my dad.
Post # 12
I think some people (as other PPs have stated) would find it comforting if it was a peaceful passing. I’m not sure if I would do it, but I might try. If it was too much, just move to a couch or something. I’m so sorry for your loss.
Post # 13
Yes, it was peaceful; nothing violent. I remember he was drenched with sweat, but there was a mattress pad on it.
The visit is going to be weird all together – visiting my childhood home for the first time without dad in it, seeing family now that I’m married (they didn’t go to the wedding), seeing Gram possibly for the last time. Phew.
Post # 14
Sorry for your loss. My mom passed away in our house too. Before my mom passed away I never understood why people even STAYED in the house where someone had died. If it was someone I didn’t know that died in the bed, no way. But it’s someone you loved. I’d maybe crash on the couch if I couldn’t sleep the whole night there.
Post # 15
We had to bring one of those medical beds into our house for my dad and we had it in the living area next to the kitchen so he wouldn’t have to use the stairs. Eventually he passed away, a while went by and we decided to move, my mom sold the house and also bought herself new bedroom furniture. Not because it was creepy like some of the pps have said but because it reminded her of her sick husband, the house reminded me of my sick dad who withered away. It was sad, it was uncomfortable, and there is no way in hell I wouldve slept in that bad he passed away in.
Post # 16
no thank you, unless the mattress was brand new.