(Closed) Odd Question- Good or Bad "Deal"?

posted 5 years ago in Proposals
  • poll: Do you think this 'agreement' is a good idea?
    Yes! Take it! : (20 votes)
    21 %
    No- he should want to propose... It shouldn't be all on you passing tests! : (71 votes)
    76 %
    Other Reasons for Yes/No- Please explain : (3 votes)
    3 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    1583 posts
    Bumble bee

    @BlondieBee28:  It seems like a weird agreement. Like your future is contingent on an exam that your future is already contingent upon. If he wants to propose he should. Everything can’t be a game!

    Post # 4
    Member
    34 posts
    Newbee

    @BlondieBee28:  That’s …strange. I agree with subtlebee. You need to take this exam to continue in your field. You’d be looking forward to getting the exams over with anyway (at least, I can’t wait til I’m done with my engineering exams), don’t need more motivation there.

    Is there some financial aspect here? Some major pay increase or job security or something involved with passing these exams? 

    Post # 5
    Member
    264 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2013 - Lake Taghkanic State Park

    I don’t think it’s weird, he obviously wants to propose either way. I think this is probably just a way for him to set a deadline for himself and also to make sure it comes at a time that is special/meaningful. You passing your tests signifies moving on to a new step in your life (professionally) which also makes it the perfect time for you to move forward with your life (romantically). Some people just like having a schedule. It sounds to me like he’s just really excited for everything to come together and fall into place, and wants to coordinate it so it happens in the same timeframe.

    Post # 6
    Member
    8314 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    Do you lack the motivation to study or does he think you lack the motivation due to past occurrances? Does he maybe feel like you spend more time thinking about an engagement and wedding than thinking about your studies? Would it give you more motivation to study?

    or could it be that he wants your work options to be more secure before starting the marriage process?

    Post # 7
    Member
    2497 posts
    Buzzing bee

    @BlondieBee28:  I think that’s really weird. He needs to give you a different carrot, like shoes or something that doesn’t have to do with the progression of your relationship. No deal.

    Post # 8
    Member
    688 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2015

    If it helps you keep motivated for your exam, why not.. 

    But look at it from the other way: If you fail your exams, would this mean you wouldn’t get engaged? Then it seems like a bit of a harsh punishment. You’ll probably get engaged later then, but still..

    This arrangement only seems to work when it has a positive outcome.

    Post # 9
    Hostess
    7561 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: January 2013

    I think it’s kind of strange but he may just be trying to motivate you the only way he knows how. If he mentions it again I would say, “Thanks for trying to cheer me on but I don’t want to feel like our future is contingent on an exam score.” 

    Post # 10
    Member
    4313 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    And what happens if you don’t pass one of the sections?  I’m sorry but I just had to ask what his Plan B was in this silly situation.

    Post # 11
    Member
    4653 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    I agree with PP it is a little odd… I see where he is coming from just trying to give you that little extra push but it is one of those things that sound a lot better in your head than when you say it outloud.

    Post # 13
    Member
    249 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2014

    i didn’t vote because i know i would not like this agreement.  i would not want to tie my engagment so closely to something outside of our relationship.  to me, getting engaged should be about our love and future together, not about getting a reward for something i accomplished.

    BUT i’m not you and it’s up to you both!  it doesn’t sound like it would cause anything bad in your relationship so if you’re game go for it!  nothing wrong with doing things this way, just not my preference!

    and best of luck on your exams!

    Post # 15
    Member
    2065 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: December 2011

    I just passed my 4th and final CPA exam last month, so hell, I say use it as motivation. Those tests are an absolute bitch and any extra motivation is good to have. I passed them all on the first try while working full time, so as long as you can motivate yourself to use your time wisely, you shouldn’t have a problem! Good luck. πŸ™‚

    Post # 16
    Member
    511 posts
    Busy bee

    To me it’s a bit like either 

    a) You’re his horse and he’s dangling a carrot in front of you to make you go, or;

    b) You’re his child and he’s promising dessert once you clean your room.

     

    Unless he’s just setting a deadline so that he has to stick to it as well, in which case, why does HE need that much motivation? 

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