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With all respect to your mom, wear what makes you the most comfortable--after all, it's YOUR wedding! As for looking trendy, let's take a moment to pay tribute to all of those fantastic 70's and 80's weddings with the dress styles and sideburns and big, puffy sleeves. Sure it's dated now, and we probably have a good chuckle at it, but those are the defining aspects of that generation--if side-swept hair is the worst we get at trendy in the early 2000's--consider us blessed! I think that hairstyle will look utterly fantastic with your dress. Best Wishes!
does she want you to pull your hair back into a French Twist? no, that's not dated at all. 
That dress needs a hairstyle that has some glam to it and a side bun or some sort of look where you are pulling your hair to the side and embellishing it is going to look fabulous.
Mom's have a tendency to rain on our parade sometimes, often because they really care, but the bluntness can be irritating when you're planning your wedding.
It's a beautiful hairstyle that will look so great with that gorgeous gown. Do what you want, it's your day.
When your mom sees you on the day of the wedding, the last thing she'll do is complain that it looks dated because you'll be too breathtaking! Good luck!
Something to consider: Often we see a photograph and deem it dated. Sometimes an aspect of the photograph will date it (big sleeves, lesuire suits) but sometimes it is the technology of that era that casts a dated feel. Remember the square photos from the late 70s and early 80s? The grainy picture from the early 1900?*
I think your hairstyle is classic. My grandmother has a picture of herself in high school wearing her hair similarly. The only thing that dates the picture are the browning/fading colors. If the picture were to be developed using today's technology, she could pass for her granddaughter.
Moral of the story: Everything will eventually look dated, so do what makes you happy.
*Of course, our children's chlidren will think we were technologically inferior.
I don't think it's trendy at all! I agree that it has a very classic look. I don't know what your mom is thinking. If it makes you feel any better, my mom is the same way. Lately her constant refrain is: "Well, just go ahead and do what you want. You will anyway." Of course, this comes after telling me what a horrible idea this or that or the other thing is... I'm sure that you can fill in The Look and The Tone on your own.
I think the hairstyle looks timeless. It doesn't have the 80's feel of the side ponytail. It seems to me that the hair decoration is on the side to complement the natural part in the hair.
i feel its beautiful and love Jenningsblue's comment.
i think its perfect. i catch myself worrying about looking dated, right down to the lipstick color i'm thinking of wearing (my signature plum/violet). i think its easy to get to caught up in it and lose sight of what really matters.....the moment.
if it feels right for the moment, go with it. my mom is a big thundercloud....raining on everything in her path. i have learned to stay out of the way as much as possible. lol....
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I see what your mom is saying...you definately don't want people to see your pictures in 10-15 years and be able to guess exactly what year it is. However I think the picture you chose is very slightly off center. It isn't the uber-trendy side pony cascading down your shoulder look. I think you should try it. It will look beautiful!!!! Maybe once you test it out and show her she will no doubt think you are gorgeous and take your side!
Good Luck!
Thanks everyone!!
That is exactly what I thought. My mom's comments have made me feel like I must be going crazy, but you all have reminded me that I'm not. Thanks!
Suzanno, that is exactly the story with me, too. She knows that when she says those things, it sends me into this horrible spiral of second-guessing all of my decisions, but she still says them. Then, of course, it's "do what you want, it's just my opinion." Aargh. Hopefully she will see the look when it is all together and change her mind. At least now I have enough piece of mind to go forward with it without feeling like I'm doing the 80's side ponytail!
i think the hairstyle is wonderful! it won't be dated at all unless you go with some big teased bangs. i kid i kid. i think it will look perfect with your dress.
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I have been thinking about this off-center hairstyle for my wedding, except replacing the feather thing with some kind of silk flower hair comb:
But my mom has decided to rain on my parade- she doesn't like it at all. She says that the off-center look is too trendy, and will look dated in photos. What do you think? Is the off-center updo too trendy or okay?
BTW, I'm planning to wear this hairstyle with a super simple Nicole Miller dress:
Thanks for the help!