off-on relationships with commitmentphobic guys – are there ever happy endings?

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
1323 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Don’t take him back. Period. He broke off your engagement 3 times? Once is bad enough, but with 3 you are now allowing him to mistreat you. People show you how to treat them, and you are showing him that you are not worth his love and respect. Let him go and find someone that would do anything in the world not to hurt you.  I’m sorry girl, but this guy is not the one. 

Post # 4
Member
1340 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@Bellagiobride:  Agreed! He has told you THREE times this year that you’re not the one for him. Believe him!

And, NO, these stories very rarely have happy endings! Only in chick flicks!

Post # 5
Member
178 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

Sorry, I haven’t been in this situation as an adult, but from seeing others in this situation, no, it doesn’t ever change. It’s just not worth the pain. You will be happy once you get to the other side after enough time has passed.

 

Post # 6
Member
1323 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Sorry, double post. 

Post # 7
Member
7281 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

He has issues and you cannot “fix” him. Do yourself a big favor and move on. Give yourself the opportunity to be in a relationship with someone more emotionally mature and reliable.

Post # 8
Member
495 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

@incognitobee3:  Why do you keep taking him back? This only hurts you. You may have loved him at one time but do you really love him now? Are you sure you want to degrade yourself by taking him back again? Each time you take him back he looses more respect for you. If he loved you he would be married to you right now. Do yourself a big favor and stop this cycle. Free yourself woman!

Post # 9
Member
626 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Love is a Choice, Yes there are those feelings as well but those feelings fade. The fact you’ve broken up 3 times now show’s that he’s chosen not to love you ( sorry its super harsh even to type) BUT you DESERVE better, don’t EVER settle for nothing but the best, you are saying “hey I don’t value myself” everytime you say yes to getting back together. You want a man who know’s what he wants and knows he wants you and chooses to Love you.

 

Hope it gets better xoxo

Post # 11
Member
2419 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I’m afraid I’ve never heard of a happy ending in these circumstances. Clearly this man is a coward as well as a commitment-phobe and you deserve a great deal better. Let him go. He’s not worth trying to fix.

Post # 12
Member
3010 posts
Sugar bee

@incognitobee3:  I went through this for 2 years. It didn’t have an happy ending. Well, not in that sense. We are actually having a baby now (surprise!) but we aren’t together. That part is happy- we are both really excited!

Post # 13
Member
491 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

Oh man, my last relationship was like this. Just run. I spent two years trying to force a bad relationship to work. All it was was a waste of time. I would try to distance myself from my ex and he would come back just long enough to make me wonder if we could make it work. Once I would start to give in a little, he would disappear again. I finally had to tell him to leave me alone permanently. He knew I meant it and hasn’t tried to contact me since. Ugh. Once you’re over him, you’ll be glad you walked away. Trust me. Relationships like that are toxic.

Post # 14
Member
11772 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

Ugh. What an immature jerk! Time to find someone worth your time!

Post # 15
Member
2474 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

My mom went through hell and back with a guy like this. She even married him, and he STILL did this to her. Totally destroyed her for a couple of years. Save yourself the trouble and do NOT get back together with this guy!!

Post # 16
Member
523 posts
Busy bee

@incognitobee3:  I think the only way that this can turn out well is if it is a maturity thing and he grows out of it. However, do you want to bank on this possibility?

As hard as it is I would take this as a sign that you are not meant to be together, certainly not at this moment in your life. I would start moving on.

Men who are commitment-phobes rarely change and even if he did would it erase the hurt you must feel after 3x having the rug pulled out from under you and your heart completely tramped upon?

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