Offended family aquaintance who didn\'t get invited

posted 1 month ago in Guests
  • poll: Should the distant family friend have been invited?
    No, you did the right thing and they shouldn't have been upset. : (88 votes)
    96 %
    It could go either way : (3 votes)
    3 %
    Yes, they should have received an invite and have a right to be upset. : (1 votes)
    1 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    136 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: August 1983

    Very rude of him to mention his being upset–who does that?

    Post # 4
    Member
    332 posts
    Helper bee

    Nothing you’ve written here makes me think he should have been invited. 

    Everything you’ve written here makes me think you’ve done the right thing in not inviting him.

    He needs to grow up

    Post # 5
    Member
    1907 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: December 2016

    You have done absolutely nothing wrong – no one should expect an invite to anyone’s wedding, and it’s extremely rude to say you’re upset if you don’t receive one. I could see this being a little different if you had invited your parent’s whole social circle except this couple, but you’ve only invited one couple and there are plenty of others in the group who haven’t been invited. You are not wrong to want a smaller wedding and are completely entitled to invite (or not invite) whoever you want. If I was you, I’d just forget about the whole thing and continue on as you have been – this person isn’t even worth thinking about. 

    Post # 6
    Member
    225 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2017

    Trust your gut on this one. Ultimately it’s your day (week!) and you want to set yourself up to have the most positive experience you can. Especially since you and FI are footing the bill yourselves, there is no obligation for you to invite anyone from extended family-friend circles. It’s not your fault if he’s upset.

    Post # 7
    Member
    1078 posts
    Bumble bee

    Cleary based on his past behavior he doesn’t respect boundaries and is rather entitled. So doesn’t surprise me he decided to be offended by not being invited. Your can’t simultaneously take care of you and your partners needs (having a small wedding with people you respect) while taking care of his needs (coming to a friend of the family’s wedding to party) it’s just not possible. 

    Post # 8
    Member
    1032 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2017

    newbiebee1984 :  The only reason I could say maybe that you should have invited him-Did your father want him invited (if he is paying for part of the wedding)? That would be the only thing that would make me even consider it. Even then I would be having a heart to heart with him explaining why I didnt think that he was an appropriate wedding guest.

    Also, complete side bar. This may just be me, but if a distant family friends daughter was having a destination wedding, I would be kind of happy to not have to spend thousands on plane tickets, hotel, etc.

    Post # 9
    Member
    8772 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2015

    You know you know that reason you didn’t invite him– that he is rude and obnoxious and inappropriate? Well, you were right. He is. 

    And that’s why he’s making an issue out of not being invited. How else would he be invited to things if he didn’t guilt trip and terrorize people. His behavior right now is why you didn’t invite him.

    Ignore him. 

    Post # 10
    Member
    460 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2017

    Ugh. Why are people so stupid?

    Don’t feel bad. He’s an a$$hat with an attitude problem. You did the right thing.

    Post # 11
    Member
    4363 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: April 2016

    I don’t think you did anything wrong at all. Take solace in the fact that you don’t really ever see this guy so you won’t have to hear him complain about it. 😉 

    Post # 12
    Member
    2004 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2016

    newbiebee1984 :  you have the right to invite anyone you want. It’s your wedding. That’s all that needs to be said. 

    Post # 14
    Member
    2866 posts
    Sugar bee

    I voted no because I don’t think you were required to invite them but as far as being upset–that’s their choice and nothing you can control. They’ll get over it. 

    Post # 15
    Member
    633 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2017

    I’m not invited to a friend’s wedding, and although I’m bummed, I respect that she has a tight budget and limited guest list. That’s how people should react when they aren’t invited to your wedding. 

    He’s obviously selfish, so it’s good you didn’t invite him! 

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