Post # 1
I need MAJOR etiquette advice from you ladies! Here’re the details:
- We’re having a ceremony and only want our closest family (parents, grandparents, godparents and my uncle).
- Our wedding party right now are our siblings (our 2 brothers for the best man and groomsman, my fiance’s sister as my maid of honour).
- My fiancé’s father’s side is the only side that can attend (the mother’s half is in India). BUT we both don’t like his Dad’s side (aunt, uncle, and cousins) and don’t want them to be there.
- I’m really close to my cousin and want him as a “bridesmaid”. But if we invite him and his fiancé, I’m thinking it would be rude not to invite his sister (my cousin) and his parents (my aunt and uncle).
- If we invite my cousin without his family, it would be easier for my fiancé’s Dad’s side to accept not inviting any of them because I just want my cousin in my wedding party.
So here are the options:
- DON’T invite my “bridesmaid” cousin even though I want him there and upset no one in the family but me.
- Invite my cousin and NOT his family (sister and parents) and risk upsetting them.
- Invite my cousin AND his family but NOT my fiancé’s aunt, uncle or cousins and risk offending them or my fiancé’s Dad or grandpa.
- Invite EVERYONE (my cousin, his family, and my fiancé’s aunt, uncle and cousins) and have people we don’t want or even like at our intimate ceremony.
I would so appreciate help! Losing sleep over this!
Much gratitude ladies!!
Post # 3
Oh boy! That is a tough one. We were recently invited to a wedding but we cannot make it. The groom is my FI’s cousin. My Fiance was the only member of his family invited (except the groom’s immediate family). No one was offended. My Fiance is closest to the groom out of the others and in another way of looking at it, my Fiance was representing his side of the family. So I say invite your cousin. If there are any kick backs, hold your head high. Every decision you make will have a consequence so you might as well decide on the one you want. Good luck.
Post # 4
First are you absolutely sure the scenerios will play out as you say? I’d so hate for you to make one of these choices and something like your cousin not showing up happening after you’ve offended people and what not.
You have time. So I’d play it really low key about the wedding for now. Who knows where the guests will be or what frame of mind you will be in by september 2014.
Don’t talk to the guests about the wedding for now. See how things stand by this time next year and then make your choices.
Post # 5
Invite the people who you want at the wedding. Don’t invite those who will stress you out or be a burden to entertain. The only exception to this advice – Make sure you invite “socail units” together. (Don’t invite a husband, but not his wife, don’t invite somebody who is engaged, but not her fiance, and if a couple is living together, you should invite both of them if you invite one of them.)
If you think there is a huge potential to offend somebody you care about, you need to think it through, and be ready to explain the truthful reasons they aren’t invited. (i.e. We’re having a really small ceremony. Thank you so much for your support. I do hope that we’ll be able to have dinner together soon though!)
If you want to invite your aunt & uncle, but neither you nor your Fiance want to invite his aunts and uncles, then you CAN make that call… but it’s best to have a clear reason that his parents will understand, so they don’t pressure you to add to the guest list.
I wound up inviting everyone for my wedding. It worked out fine for me, the relatives who I don’t care for attended, but knew that they were expected to be on their best behavior; and actually pretty much steered clear of me & Darling Husband. We hardly even remembered that they were among our 55 guests.