(Closed) Officially Planning a wedding! (or delegating to others to plan =0p)

posted 5 years ago in Waiting
  • poll: Would you delegate planning to your mom/s?
    yes, moms are the bestest! : (3 votes)
    4 %
    We are doing it together : (23 votes)
    34 %
    No : (38 votes)
    57 %
    Not planning yet and haven't thought about it : (3 votes)
    4 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    322 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    Congrats!

    Post # 4
    Member
    747 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    Yay! That is so exciting!

    You are planning a wedding in less than two months? Good luck!

    Post # 6
    Member
    3160 posts
    Sugar bee

    Edited to just Congrats!! I thought you were thinking 2013 too.

    Post # 7
    Member
    747 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    @subtlebee:  That makes more sense! I was thinking you were crazy for a moment! 🙂

    Post # 10
    Member
    1685 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    First off: congrats!! 

    In answer to your question: absolutely not! Smile

    My mother and I have very different tastes.  His mother and I have very different budgets.  As a result, picking the venue was something that FI and I did together.  It was fun!

    Post # 11
    Member
    3160 posts
    Sugar bee

    @subtlebee:  Oh and about the delegating – FH’s mother was the one who wanted us to have a wedding, I wanted to elope. FH wanted to appease his mother since he didn’t want her to resent him (and instead I resent him for making me have a wedding even though I have been telling him that I want to elope for four years now). I started planning but every single time I would ask him a question, his response was always, “Whatever you want babe.” I finally blew up on him and told him that whatever I want is to not even have a wedding and since he and his mother want a wedding SO bad, they can plan it themselves. So, FH’s mother is planning our wedding. Now my opinion on everything is, “Whatever, sure, okay, that’s fine.” Wedding planning is completely stressing her out, but she wanted it 🙂 Also, what FH has been delegated to do, I have had to do since he is terrible with making decisions. This has been another cause for a fight because once again I did not want this.

    So anyway, FMIL has been delegated to plan 90% of the wedding (and she is also paying for 90% of the wedding) and it’s worked out fairly well except for a few incidences this weekend. I think it has worked out only because I am so hands off which makes it frustrating for her but she’s the one who wanted it.

    Post # 13
    Hostess
    2556 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    Congrats!

     

    To answer your question, the only people doing the bulk of the planning are my FI and I.  

    Post # 15
    Member
    11234 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2013

    Nice!

    But hell no, I would never allow anyone else to make any plans/decisions/etc. 

    Post # 16
    Member
    3160 posts
    Sugar bee

    @subtlebee:  It hasn’t been the best experience but that is coming from someone who never wanted a wedding in the first place. A lot of people simply don’t understand that I don’t want to have a wedding at all. They want to “celebrate” us which is great for them but we simply do not want it. I am extremely unconventional so it has been a bit rough on my FMIL. I don’t want to do the cake cutting, walk down an aisle, be escorted down an aisle, be given away, and a number of other things. She simply doesn’t understand why I wouldn’t want these things.

    I did get very mad at her about our guestlist because I thought we were having a family only wedding as a compromise between what I wanted and what she wanted. FH reported back that my official number of 35 had been bumped up to 55 (this is six weeks before the wedding and none of these 20 extra people received an invitation). I was absolutely livid. Turns out, she had too much to drink and misspoke. She meant 45 – once again, these extra 10 people did not receive an invitation. At that point, I just said fine, whatever. At 55 though, I wasn’t coming to the wedding.

    Pretty much 90% of the wedding has been her planning and her decisions and her financing. I just found out that we are having a brunch on Sunday too. I was like, “Well, I do love brunch food.” I also just found out that we are having Greek for our rehearsal dinner. Once again, I was like, “Well, I do like Greek food.”

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