(Closed) Officiant and gender

posted 6 years ago in Traditions
  • poll: Am I discriminating against women acting as officiant?
    Yes : (45 votes)
    32 %
    No : (59 votes)
    42 %
    Traditions are in the past, this is year 2012 : (38 votes)
    27 %
  • Post # 3
    14498 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    That is your comfort and that is fine.  A wedding is an extremely personal thing and if you and your SO are the most comfortable with a male then so be it, nothing wrong with that.

    Post # 4
    2750 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    I was SO happy I had a female officiant. The few horror stories I heard about our resort’s officiant was male.  Father Benito or something… he brought up inappropriate things during some other brides ceremony.  I specifically requested a female officiant and was really happy with her service.  Personally I do think you are discriminating, but before anyone goes to defence mode, we all have our prejudices which are embedded in our thinking as tradition (including myself).

    Post # 5
    4793 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: January 2019

    I’m pretty old-fashioned when it comes to my wedding also. As long as it’s a “this is fine, just not what I want” thing like you described, I wouldn’t call it discrimination. It’s just not your vision for your wedding day, which is perfectly okay. 

    Post # 6
    1434 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: February 2010

    @happyface:  eh….I feel you. I only wanted a male too (he was my only option anyways). I guess IT IS discrimination but then again….it’s not like you’re hurting anyone bychoosing. I say get whoever you want and no one has to know why.


    Post # 7
    5011 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: April 2012

    I wanted a woman to begin with but realised that I’d be descriminating if I chose someone based on their gender (which I didn’t want to do) and ended up with a man.

    If what you feel comfortable is having a man, then do that.

    Post # 8
    873 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    I feel uncomfortable with women preaching (and sometimes I feel like people pick women officiants to make a political point), so it wasn’t something I was looking for in my wedding.  If that’s discrimination, oh well.  It was one of the very few things I felt strongly about regarding my wedding and one of the few things I got my way with.  But it’s not like women officiants everywhee were losing out on business because I chose a man, so…eh.

    Post # 9
    2488 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    I feel the same way about wanting a male officiant but I think thats just cause its how I’d always seen it.

    Something about a man just fits better for me.

    however alot of people prefer women.

    the church we selected has a female pastor and luckly she is letting us choose someone else- although at this point we have no one eiher :S


    Post # 10
    873 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2010


    Post # 11
    3625 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    We had a woman and we picked her because she is awesome and we are very close to her as a person. It wasn’t based on gender; we would’ve just as likely picked a man. Ultimately, I would want someone who knew us well and does a good job officiating and speaking in public, rather than someone who is the “right” gender, but was frigid or not a good presenter.

    Post # 12
    2820 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: February 2013

    I would rather have a woman, actually. But no, I don’t think that it’s particularly discriminatory either way.

    Post # 13
    10453 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: February 2014

    I want a male officiant too, I hardly call this discrimination though because I am also a woman! How can I discriminate against my own kind hehe.

    Post # 14
    4352 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    If you have a stack of applicants and you toss out all of the female ones purely based on their gender, thats discrimination. If you eliminate all the the female ones based on individual issues unrelated to their gender, thats not discrimination. It sounds like what you are doing is discrimination because you don’t have any excuse not to hire a woman other than the fact that she is a woman and you’ve always pictured a man.

    Post # 15
    3886 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    You may nit be discriminating— it really depends on the intent behind your preference— but you may be overlooking the candidate who would ultimately do the best job for you. There are a lot of really fantastic officiants out there, of both genders; you may not want to discard half the possibilities just based on gender.

    The topic ‘Officiant and gender’ is closed to new replies.

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