(Closed) Officiant Etiquette…

posted 6 years ago in Ceremony
  • poll: Is your officiant included in your Rehearsal Dinner & Reception?
    Yes, both! : (23 votes)
    52 %
    No, neither. : (11 votes)
    25 %
    No, just the rehearsal. : (4 votes)
    9 %
    No, just the recpetion. : (6 votes)
    14 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    2282 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    I figure that at its heart, the rehearsal dinner is a nice thing to do for all who were invovled in some way at the rehearsal – this is you and the groom, the officiant, the bridal party, etc. So I consider an invitation for the officiant to the rehearsal dinner to be expected. After all, he/she is the person that’s making the wedding itself official. 

    ETA: I meant to include earlier that, yes, the officiant should be invited to the reception. Absolutely. It would be a big breach of etiquette to not invite them. 

    Post # 4
    Member
    529 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: January 2013

    I don’t think it’s “required”, but it’s nice. I haven’t been to a wedding where I didn’t see the offciant at the reception. I don’t think I’ve seen to many at the rehersal dinner.

    Post # 6
    Member
    3697 posts
    Sugar bee

    I think it makes a difference whether it’s a clergyperson from a house of worship or whether it’s a hired officiant.

    I think of hired officiants as “vendors” like the florist, etc., whereas I put clergy in a different category. A clergy person generally does not pull down a high salary, and they work all week in order to work on the weekends. Weddings place an additional demand on their time, usually involving a good chunk of time on a Friday for the rehearsal as well as Saturday for the ceremony. I would definitely recommend inviting your clergy officiant. For someone hired on a vendor basis, I would still probably try to do it, it’s a nice gesture and it acknowledges their work, but I feel like it’s a bigger faux pas to not invite a priest or minister.

    Post # 7
    Member
    5756 posts
    Bee Keeper

    I would say that if you have a relationship with the officiant, then yes…extend the invitation. If the one you are having is one you’ve hired without even knowing him/her, then no…no need to invite them (unless you want to do so).

    We had one that we found through the venue, and he declined to attend either part of the wedding (RD or reception),save his own role. Many of them (and ours as well) had to leave to do other weddings almost immediately afterwards. He also said if he accepted every invitation for all these dinners, he’d be as big as a house!

    Post # 8
    Member
    515 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    I voted reception only, but just because we are not having a rehearsal. If we were, I would of course invite the officiant.

    If you’ve had some communication problems with your officiant, it might be worthwhile to invite him to the rehearsal dinner so he can get a feel for the two of you as a couple and your bridal party, which might help him do his job better.

    Post # 9
    Member
    963 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    It makes a big difference that your officiant isn’t your pastor or a family friend. You didn’t say how much you paid, but if it’s anything like mine, you probably paid a lot of money relative to the amount of work he put in. Since he’s just a hired vendor, I don’t think you need to invite him to either event. Think about it, you probably wouldn’t invite your florist or your baker, so why invite the officiant?

    Post # 10
    Member
    12833 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    I voted yes, but my officiant is also my godfather, so he would be there regardless.

    I think it’s proper to invite the officiant to the rehearsal dinner since they will need to be at the rehearsal itself.  Anything else is above and beyond, but definitely nice!

    Post # 11
    Member
    1361 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    Our officiant is one of our very good friends, so she’s being invited to everything 🙂  Also, her husband is the best man, so even if she weren’t the officiant, she’d be invited to everything.  I didn’t vote since I have a different situation 🙂

    Post # 12
    Member
    640 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    We invited our pastor to come to the reception, but he declined. Fine with me! 🙂

    Post # 15
    Member
    3772 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    I voted yes… It is always a nice thing to extend the offer to them.. but most of the time I don’t see the officiants attend. BUT I got to a lot of Catholic weddings and normally the priest has to say the Saturday vigil mass after the wedding.

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