Post # 1
This is my first post, though I have been using this site for a long time to answer my many wedding question but I have hit a question that I can not find an answer to.
We are using our church and Pastor for our ceremony. The pastor never mentioned a fee for himself or the church. After doing some research I found many answers on how much is normal to pay the Officiate fee or what the donation should be to the church but I am confused! Is the fee the same thing as the donation or do we do both. We pay our pastor for doing our pre-martial counseling, rehearsal dinner, and ceremony AND pay a donation to the church. And do we give the donation check directly to the pastor or just send it into the church office.
Help with this would be very helpful! Thanks
Post # 3
It is the same thing as a donation. You are “donating” money to use the chruch/pastor. You would need to ask your pastor about who the check goes to. I believe for ours (almost 2 yrs ago now) we made it out to the church directly.
Post # 4
I have heard of this too. My situation is a bit different as we aren’t having a church wedding rather the pastor is coming to us. His officiant fee is actually the donation to the church, that is what he told us.
Post # 5
Donation and fee are the same thing functionally. They say donation to make it sound nicer, kinda like how wedding photographers say ‘investment’ instead of ‘price’. If you are having a ceremony in the church, there may be a fee for the room itself, as well as the fee for the officiant. They’ll normally give you a ‘suggested donation’ or ‘minimum donation’. Premarital counseling is a different fee and is usually paid at the time of counseling. Depending on the church, you may have to pay part or all of the officiant & room fee to reserve the date. Ask the church office how they would like the payments, they do this pretty often, so they’ll have a system down 🙂
I’ve actually never heard of the pastor attending the rehearsal dinner, so I’m not sure how that would go.
Post # 6
Just a reminder – contributions (donations) to your church are tax deductible!!!
Post # 7
@mkelove: Pretty sure Im in the same boat! We are using our church but my uncle is marrying us (he is a pastor at another church) do I give the donation to both my church and my uncle?
Post # 8
At our church, non-members were charged an honorarium for the pastor. If you are a member, the honorarium is waived, but a donation is still encouraged. So I’m thinking you should consider them the same thing. The honorarium to the pastor is essentially a donation to the church.