Officiant From Out of State

posted 3 years ago in Ceremony
Post # 3
9949 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

I have no idea about a donation, but make sure it’s legal.  My uncle is a minister who lives and practices in NY, but we got married in NH.  He had to apply for a special license.  It had nothing to do with religion (neither did our wedding) — it was all legal stuff.

Post # 5
10 posts
  • Wedding: May 2014

You should probably still give a small donation to his church if not directly to him.

Post # 6
10219 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

Etiquette Snob here… lol

Ok, “technically” your Officiant is a Vendor… someone that provides a service… Even if he’s a Relative (Friendor).  He has taken courses etc to prepare himself for this career etc, he is qualified, and DESERVES to be paid.

It is RUDE to take advantage of one’s position just because they are a Relative.

If you were an Electrician, Plumber etc.. would you be expected to give free help / advice.. time & effort to ALL your Relatives just because you have a viable trade that others want to access ??

Uh no.  You’d want to be paid too for services performed.

So yes you need to make a Financial Contribution towards him… and the service that HE PROVIDES (as per Market Rate)

(I take it from your post that he is from Out Of State… the Venue is in Florida.  The Venue Costs no matter how large are seperate… They are for the Venue.  You’d pay an Officiant you didn’t know to marry you… so it should be for this person & their generous offer.  As I was married in Florida, I can tell you that the “going rate” was between $ 200 and $ 500.  You should make your “Gift in Kind” in an Evelope and give it to him at the end of the Ceremony… actually have the Bestman give it to him.  If he accepts it is up to him… he may very well tell your BM that it is a GIFT… BUT that is his CHOOSING not yours.)

Hope this helps,

PS… As per Etiquette, an Officiant (and their spouse if applicable) should also be invited to the Rehearsal Dinner & the Wedding.  Just so you know.


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