Post # 1
We’re three weeks away from our wedding and the officiant just notified us that he’s possibly not going to be available. We’ve met him, discussed ceremony and paid him already! He has two alternates, but one’s a female, I don’t want a female officiant. And he says there may not be time to meet with the alternate, since we are from out of town. I do have former pastors living in the same town, should I contact them instead? What if they can’t?
I’m getting very upset. We’re eloping, but the ceremony is what means the most to me and I thought this was all arranged. How can he do this to us?!! I was trying to make things so simple and uncomplicated, just to enjoy the best experience of marrying the man I love during a simple sacred ceremony.
Post # 3
@Zavrazen: What does your contract say?
If you can contact your old pastors, go ahead and ask. They might be able to step in.
And not sure why you don’t want a female officiant…?
Post # 4
That sucks that he would do that to you so close to the wedding. I went through a similar situation where we had hired a JP to do the wedding ceremony and then 3 weeks before I found out he was not going to do the rehearsal which was a deal breaker for me. I did some quick google searching and found a woman reverend to do the ceremony AND rehearsal, was able to meet with her beforehand, and she did an amazing job, I was sooo happy that we used her instead of the original JP. Do some searching, contact your priests, and see what you can find out – it may end up even better than you thought!
P.S. At first I was also not-wanting a female officiant because I was raised catholic and there are no female priests. Since our wedding wasn’t in a church anyways, and she was a reverend I went with her, and am so happy I did!
Post # 5
- Wedding: January 2013 - Harbourfront Grand Hall
@Zavrazen: Did he give a good reason why he won’t be available? Most contracts say something about what will happen if an emergency occurs or they are unavailable, ours said that they would contact three alternatives to find a replacement and then… well, they’re kind of off the hook.
P.S. I kinda hope you get stuck with the “female” officiant for being sexist 🙂
Post # 6
Can he at least put you in contact with the alternate? Even if you can’t meet in person a phone call or even skype chat would help you get to know them and feel more comfortable with them. If you don’t like the alternate you should contact the pastor, it can’t hurt to have a back up plan.
It sucks that yourr offciant did this, I really hope it works out for you!
Post # 7
@mchitt329: Ahhh. You’re the perfect example of why I don’t wsnt a female. But thsnks so much for Your advice.
Post # 8
So thankful, our replacement officiant has just contacted us. He’s still an Episcopal priest but with an MA in Pastoral Theology, and is pursuing his Doctorate. I think “he’ll do” for our ceremony. Just another reminder that God is faithful.