- 4 years ago
I came across this topic and it really got me thinking…do mothers/fathers have a favourite among their offspring? I know parents always say they never could but according to these articles, it is very much prevalent.
I don’t have any direct experience with the topic because I’m not a parent nor do I have siblings, so I was always the favourite by default 😛
But I have experienced the after-effects of offspring favouritism and I’ve seen it in my friends’ families. For instance, my mother was the last of 6 children and one of 3 girls. From the time she was born, my grandmother did not want her and did not even care to breastfeed her until another female relative stepped in. Over the years, my mum said her attitude towards her (my mum) and my uncle (the 5th child) became markedly different. She would buy presents for his b’day while completely ignoring mummy’s. She would be strict and less loving also towards her but always showered her son with affection. As time passed, and grandchildren came along, this extended to me as I could not compare to my uncle’s sons in my grandmother’s eyes. She never treated me the way she did them and only years later I realized how this had started long before me. Sometimes, I wonder if it was because my uncle and my cousins were all male, and coming from a patriarchal culture, she preferred them. But she was never this way with her other sons so he was clealrly the favourite even though he was also the biggest troublemaker in all her offspring and my mum was the one who took care of her before she died. Ironic, isn’t it? 🙁
So Bees, to those of you who are parents or grew up in a multi-child household, have you every experienced this? If you are comfortable discussing it, please feel free to post your stories for us. I’m really interested on what the consensus is on this topic.
ETA: Re: the possible reasons for favouritism, the option you pick should be in reference to your experiences and your assumptions based on what you experienced/observed. It is not a general opinion on favouritism but one related to YOUR experiences.