- 6 years ago
- Wedding: December 2013
I’m new to the forum, but I have been a lurker since I was literallly in high school. I’ve been a wedding fanatic into my degree and adulthood.
Anyways- my first post is a negative one because I really just need to rant! Unfortunately I am not one of those women with a close knit entourage of females who I can share my maladies with. I moved to the other end of the country almost 4 years ago to enroll in my university, and my best friend is at the other end of the country in a different time zone. I do have friends here, but my closest friends are devout Muslims and have culturally different views on marriage and relationships. Not an issue in the least- i love these women with all my heart- it is just isolating to not have a nearby female confidante.
So Fiance and I generally have a phenomenal relationship. He is 5 years my senior, but I have never noticed a difference in that regard. Not to say he is immature, I’ve just always been a bit of an old soul. While I finish up school, he is already established in his career and graduated. Not an issue, we have made it this far without conflict. We live together and have managed that perfectly fine.
I’m rambling, I apologize. My feathers are very ruffled. Fiance and I have been looking at wedding bands for one another. FI’s career generally prohibits him from wearing a ring- I don’t have an issue with that, HE did. I don’t want to risk my anonymity by saying his career, but if he was to wear a ring in his workplace, then it needs to be non conductive. Okay- well that in itself posed quite an issue. We scoured the internet for rings and finally found a site that sells non conductive wedding bands for him. (We plan on purchasing a real gold ring for the ceremony, but in order to wear one every day, this was one of our ONLY options.) So we end up here:
Fiance finds a ring that he genuinely says he likes. Whatever floats his boat- it’s his hand. So I ask him what his ring size is, since he was measured last month. He says he doesn’t know. Being resourceful, I take off my thumb ring which is a size 7.5, and tell Fiance to try it on because he is a very small man. (If you click the link you will see that the sizing is not especially specific anyways. We just needed an approximation.) So Fiance puts the ring on his ring finger, and lo and behold, the ring gets stuck. I can tell that Fiance is annoyed, so I try to lighten the increasingly tense mood by saying “Okay, whatever, the rings are incredibly cheap so I’ll just purchase 2 of them in different sizes.” Nope, he’s pissed. Fiance can’t get the ring off of his apparent sausage fingers and begins to show his anger in his blatant scowling and sighing. He ends up using lubricant to weasle the thing off…
Anyways (don’t worry, I’ll shut up soon), I decide to be civil and take some responsibility for his anger- I tell him I’m sorry for suggesting it. He responds with something hasty about how his finger is all red and sore. I reiterate my apology, and finish by saying that “Well I can’t change it now- I’ve apologized and that’s really all I can do. So I’m sorry but I can’t change the situation at this point.”
Fiance in his rage, unexpedtedly goes “Well you can make smarter fucking decisions next time.” RIGHT. Like this is ALL my fault. YOU chose to put it on your hand. Whatever. So we sit in silence (he was on his lunch break from work, I was at home studying), and like 45 minutes later he leaves for work, saying “I’ll be home in about 3 hours.” I ask if he’s still angry- he says “yes.” We exchange “I love you’s” and he leaves.
So now I’m just sitting here seething and accomplishing nothing because I’m sad! I really don’t see the point in Valentine’s Day because our relationship is perfect on every other day, but it does NOT mean that I wanted this argument on the silly “love” holiday. UGH. I hate fighting and I hate leaving things on tense terms. This type of fight is just very out of character for him. He can get really snarky when he’s angry, but as a whole his demeanor is very kind.
I digress, I sincerely apologize for anyone who feels as if they wasted time reading this. I jsut really needed to vent and I have nobody to talk to.