(Closed) Oh, by the way, you're no longer my MOH

posted 5 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
663 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2017 - Vegas Wedings

So you werent honest with the bride about why you stepped down? You allowed yourself to look like a bad person. Just tell her exactly how you are felling and why. The whole how she demoted you based on a dress crap. And tell your other sisters they dont know the whole story and MTOB. And dont think for a minute you should be part of the bridal party; Id bet money that you escaped a whole bag of drama.

Post # 4
Member
944 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

I would be hurt by you’re sister’s attitude also, I would have probably went off on her – how can you “demote” somebody over the phone! Let the dust settle and be grateful you’re not in the wedding, it sounds like being on the outside of the dramatics is better for you in the long run. You didn’t spoil anything, she did it herself and will continue to do so by being selfish.

Post # 5
Member
429 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

‘Special time’ does not mean that your sister gets to be rude to you. State your feelings, firmly, and don’t back down. 

Tell them you support your sister and will do everything you can to help, but your feelings were quite hurt. If they press on it, gently remind them that you don’t have to issue an apology for someone else hurting your feelings, regardless if that’s your sibling and DEFINITELY regardless of any bridal status. 

Planning a wedding does not given anyone license to be hurtful. 

Post # 6
Member
5983 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2018

Sounds like this group of sisters has a lot of isses, OP included…don’t let bad feelings push you into bad behavior, I know that your sister started this whole thing, but don’t let others drag you into the gutter of decorum….the damage is done, for now…I’d wait a couple of days, get my thoughts straigh and have a heart to heart with her about everything…honesty time

Post # 7
Member
1686 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I don’t think you did anything especially wrong. As I understand it, because of your sister’s thoughtlessness, you no longer felt special and valued to her. The message she sent was clearly “Which one of you is my MOH isn’t important to me,” whether that’s what she meant or not. And you were hurt because, to you, it had been a special honor, but you felt as though it wasn’t your place to tell her how to decide who was important to her and which position to give them in her wedding party. 

Now she’s hurt because she doesn’t understand why you don’t want to be in her wedding.

I think at this point the only option is to keep it to yourself and suck up being the bad guy and leaving your sister feeling hurt and confused about why you did this, or you tell her the truth, and let her feel badly about hurting you. I don’t see any way of handling this now where your sister isn’t going to feel badly (which I assume is what you’ve been trying to prevent by not being honest with her about her decision upsetting you in the first place). 

And as far as anyone else goes, it’s really not their business, just tell them, “I’m sorry, but I don’t want to discuss this with you. It’s between me and Sister Bride.” If they won’t change the subject, exit the conversation.

Post # 10
Member
5983 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2018

@Thickskin:  It would appear that there is no winning in this scenario…only varying degrees of loss

Post # 11
Member
504 posts
Busy bee

I can understand why you were hurt. What I dont understand is how they couldnt see it.

Post # 14
Member
671 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

You got demoted because of a dress, your sister is the one with problems. Who the heck does that?

Post # 15
Member
3358 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@Thickskin:  LOL WHAT?!

I’m glad you got outta there. I’m sorry, but this group of sisters sounds like more drama than I’m willing to deal with.

Post # 16
Member
113 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@alleycat1984:  & thickskin:

Agreed! I think if you are continuing to call and try to make peace, it will create more of an impression that you did something wrong. I might send an email (cc new MOH) and say that you’re sorry the bride is hurt. Here’s how you feel and why you offered to step down. That you’re so happy for her and would love to hear from her when she is ready. Then stop… and do something fun for you. Don’t be in touch etc. Let her come to you when she realizes that you aren’t going to chase her to apologize for her bad behaviour!

The topic ‘Oh, by the way, you're no longer my MOH’ is closed to new replies.

Get our weekly roundup of the best of Weddingbee.
I agree to receive emails from the site. I can withdraw my consent at any time by unsubscribing.

Find Amazing Vendors