(Closed) Oh Hive, I just want to cry.

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
545 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

Wow… 25 minutes away isnt far at all, i drive forty five minutes to work everyday and 30 minutes to school every other day. You should DEFINATELY have a talk with this guy about his crazy two faced family. Im sorry your holidays werent awesome but hopefully next year they will get better

Post # 4
Member
10218 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2010

((HUGS)) but the visual of the mom with the sippy cup is OMG hilarious!!!! It sounds like he really loves you… And he may not have driven if he’s drinking too much.  Sometimes families are like that but they usually grow accustomed to the idea. I have dated guys whose families are like that (fuggin nuts if you ask me)… I think that they are accustomed ot their family circles and are a bit afraid of you taking their “baby”… trust me it usually gets a lot better!!

Post # 6
Member
10218 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2010

((Hugs)) trust me it’s amazing how different families are or what their customs are… definitely invite his mom and fam over for nye, heck everyone drinks then anyways :D… at least everyone would have something in common, you know?

Post # 8
Member
545 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

Yeah, crebre is right… customs are different in other families but like her i think its hilarious… sorry. I guess its a little difficult to get out of the house since he lives with his family but i think after he knows whats going on with you and his family he wont be so quick to please them, but i would be angry too!!!

Post # 10
Member
2373 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

Sounds like my in-laws (mine are slightly more passive), but I can’t relate on the significant other part. My husband always is by my side, and would never allow that to happen.

    You should probably reconsider marrying this guy. He sounds pretty ignorant if he’s allowing his family to treat you like a second class citizen. Seriously, do you want to deal with that crap for the rest of your life? Take it from me, it doesn’t get better. I love my husband more than anything, but on bad days I’m left wondering whether or not it was a mistake, saying that feels as awful as it sounds. Worrying one day the in-laws will get the upper hand/he’ll quit fighting the fight isn’t pleasant Ok. So it’s not really a fight- more like passive attempts to break us. The bitterness I have towards them doesn’t make me feel good either. Today his mother called obviously irritated he wasn’t attending their Christmas party and attempting to guilt him into changing his plans. When he refused she called back moments later with a whole new bright cheery attitude because she’s slowly realizing he’s catching onto her game. It’s manipulative and I hate it. If your fiance isn’t including you/allowing bad behavior to happen right under his nose- you deserve better. Good luck.

 

Post # 11
Member
10218 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2010

if he doesn’t know what the problem is, perhaps you should definitely mention what happened at his birthday party. and how you felt today, since it is your last christmas together as an engaged couple… but i think that’s a huge part of what’s going on with the parents, this is their last christmas together with him as a single guy… some of the girls in waiting are actually going through it as well, you know?

Post # 12
Member
156 posts
Blushing bee

no advice just ((HUGS))

Post # 13
Member
2000 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

That’s so weird! Did anything happen for his family to feel this way?

That doesn’t make any sense that your FI hasn’t even come to see you. Me & my FI can’t stand the really be APART from each other for just one day. I’m so sorry that you’ve got to deal with this! You should call his family out on it and SEE just why they’re acting this way. I would!

And have you told your FI that this is UNacceptable?! Dang..so much to say, but it’s hard to give advice truly knowing the situation itself.

I just hope it all works out!!

Post # 14
Member
1260 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Awe Cinema ((((HUGS))))! That soooo sucks that your FI and his family are being so unreasonable! I would be so upset too it my FI was only 25 minutes away and hadn’t come to visit me. I would also be irrate if we barely spoke on Christmas Day! Yeeesh.

I would talk to him about how this wasn’t a cool arrangment this year. Perhaps he was suffering in silence in order to appease his family? But if not, this definitely merits a talk.

I’ll be checking this thread regularly to see how you are doing!

Post # 15
Member
3576 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Please don’t take this the wrong way but you should be one of your FI’s main priorities.  And it doesn’t sound like you are.  I’m sorry to hear this. And his family sounds like a bunch of idiots as well to make you feel this way and to say those things to you.  Even if you don’t get along with them, there is such a thing called tact and they seriously are lacking.

I would talk to your FI.  You need to know that you matter.  Between you and me you also deserve more!

Post # 16
Member
705 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

Awww I’m so sorry!! That really sucks.  My family used to kind of be that way. My grandparents were really old school and unless you were married to one of us, you could NOT come to any family holidays.  Things have since changed after my grandfather died but it was like that for nearly 30 years. 

It’s not right, but I guess what I’m saying is some family just have wierd traditions and it’s not always personal. BUT I don’t think it’s acceptable that he barely called you or saw you even though he’s 25 minutes away.  You guys definitley need to talk.

The topic ‘Oh Hive, I just want to cry.’ is closed to new replies.

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