- Mrs. Mary Jane
- 9 years ago
- Wedding: September 2009 - City Hall
Last night, the mister’s friend texted him that another good friend of his is getting married this saturday. He sent us the times and locations of the ceremony and reception. Then… ‘u going 2 make it?’
Mr. MJ briefly considered it. This guy was a really good friend of his years ago, but they’ve lost touch since school. There’s no way the bride would have known or thought to invite Mr. MJ (we don’t know who she is even) – not having an address for him or any contact info.
He looked at me and knew what I was going to say (and I have to give him tons of credit – he’s a ‘bee reader as well – and he patiently reads every wedding link i send him). He texted back to the mutual friend that we would not be making the wedding. We didn’t want to be THOSE PEOPLE who show up uninvited. Weddings aren’t the time to reconnect with old friends anyway. They’re far too busy drinking in the joy of the day and enjoying the company of ALL Their guests.
Why am I posting this? Well, it got me thinking. Weddings in my area are generally big, but not "fancy" or too overly organized. People will have the traditional church ceremony and then a reception at a large dance hall (usually a town hall, Legion or other small town gathering space). You frequently get or hear "word of mouth" invites.
"Did you hear that so-and-so are getting married?"
"Yeah the reception’s at the Eagles, you goin’?"
"Eh I might make it to the ceremony but not the reception."
"Me, I’m going to the reception at about 7 or so, hey I should ask Marge if she wants to go with me!"
I KNOW I’ve been to weddings of people I didn’t know in my small town – I went to one in high school with a boyfriend – his family was going, so why not! It was an excuse to wear a pretty dress, eat cake and dance.
It brings back the idea of a community celebration. In small counties and rural townships, most families know each other. Weddings AREN’T all about the couple really, they’re more about the couple PLUS their families and family friends. There are no head counts: there are buffets + sheet cakes + dancing + a commonly known location. Some of the oldtimers will just stop in to the local gathering hall if they see that wedding festivities are happening: they’re pretty positive they’ll know at least one of the two families involved!
Are you familiar with the ideals of small-town communities? Some pastors will even announce an upcoming wedding at the end of their Sunday sermon, openly inviting people to attend it. Do you think it’s ever OK to show up uninvited to a wedding? Would you feel weird about it, or would you just have to know the couple/the family to be sure whether they’d be offended or not? What if it was your wedding – would you welcome people with open arms, or glare at them disapprovingly?