Weddingbee boards

So I love my mom, I really do, she's a great, strong woman, and has worked her butt off taking care of us all of these years. But there is this streak on her side of the family to be stubborn, argumentative, and on occasion, a bit on the selfish side.

Our plan is to forgo a ceremony (we're both atheist) and instead just do one big awesome halloween party (no costumes, just eclectic formal dress) with great food and desserts at a gorgeous venue about 45 minutes away (at night). I've planned everything out so that our closest friends and family don't have to get involved in the set-up- traditionally, they do, and it wears them out. I just want everyone happy, chill, and ready to party, not worn down from weeks of preperations! Anyway- I grew up in a rural town, and on a farm, and it's beautiful and on about 350 acres, and I always wanted to get married on the property, but I considered it and came up with too many negatives to do it- too far and hard for people to find (out in the middle of nowhere), I don't want people drinking and then trying to drive home in that area (TONS of deer and winding roads), and it would be a HUGE amount of work to host 200 something people (tents, chairs, tables, decorations, landscaping, etc.). My Dad would be working for MONTHS to make the place perfect, and I don't want that, I want him and everyone else happy and relaxed. Plus, we have our own company, and Dad and I both work full time in it, so we don't need to double our work load, it's bad enough as is!

Fast forward to today- I go down to visit, and Mom pulls me aside while Dad is napping and tells me she has an idea. Let's do the wedding out here, and our friends and family can help set it up- we'll decorate the place, re-landscape, put up tents, all of that stuff. I looked at her and I was like I really do love the idea but I considered it and it would just be too much work for everyone, and the true expense can't be calculated adequately. She said no no no it will be fine, we'd love to do it. And I replied with really Mom, it's a neat idea, but everyone would work so hard they'd be exhausted by wedding time, and the clean-up would be a tremendous chore. I don't want things to be that hectic and difficult, and neither does Dad. So she looked at me and said "You know, this is a perfect opportunity for me to have this house re-modeled- you know I've been wanting to have it done for a couple of years now, and your father would be forced to do it now- you need to have your wedding on the farm so your Dad won't spend all of that money on an expensive wedding place for you and instead spend that money fixing up my house."

Jaw dropped

Seriously Mom? "Mom, I'll consider it, but I don't think it's a good option for us." Mom replied with anger "Well it's selfish for you not to help me, I want this house done, and if you're not going to help me, you're on your own!"

Ohhh Mom In reality, my Dad would never do it in the first place, because Mom's been wanting to overhaul the house for years now, and Dad won't approach it yet because she literally wants to turn the place inside out, and he simply isn't ready to jump into that- not to mention, my "expensive wedding" will cost about 1/10 of what it will take for them to redo that house the way she wants it done.   

She isn't a total lunatic or anything, lol, I think she realized about thirty minutes later that mightn't have been such a tactful suggestion (she went from flaming mad to cheerful way too quickly!), but she's prone to her fits- just thought I'd share

And my dear 94 year old super Presbyterian grandmother (Dad's mom) who I love to pieces and respect immensely is already jumping on Dad for letting his daughter have a Halloween wedding AND a non-church wedding- Dad rolled his eyes (I love my Dad to bits!!!) and said "Mother, leave it alone, that marriage will last way longer than half the church marriages you've ever been to!" Ohhh Grandmas!

Anyone else gotten any good remarks from their family members that made you roll your eyes? I need a giggle!  I searched around for a similar thread but couldn't find anything, hope one of these hasn't been done lately! 

lol, that is pretty funny, I guess it is a good way to get something done, hah

Though unfortunately, Mom has tried this before, and the last time was worse. She looked at me one day and said "I want you to talk to your father about redoing this house" And I said, well, Dad isn't ready yet, he told you that. Her reply?: Well, when your Grandmother dies, I can't have people in this house with it looking this way, so we have to get it done before she dies" I was FLOORED- #1, this is the 94 year old grandmother I love so much, who lives in a house right up the road, and is doing very well, btw! and #2, my parent's house is GREAT! They have tons of awesome antiques, grand piano, beautiful furniture, etc. but Mom wants it extremely modern (think black, white, aqua) while my Dad much prefers it elegant/antique-ie (and so do I!) The house is in the middle of the country it's going to look ridiculous "mod", lol, I can't believe her sometimes! 

Oh my goodness. It sounds like you handled this pretty well, probably better than I would have! Glad to hear it sounds like your dad is keeping everyone in check!

Oh, how I hear you. I got married. Mom got a new kitchen.

My mom gave me a guilt trip about not planning my wedding in June here at the beach so that my family that is traveling to where we live would be able to have a vacation. Totally oblivious to the fact it's over 90 here in June with out humidity, outside for that yuck! When I told her our possible dates she just said "oh". I figure once every thing is set she'll come around.