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Non-Catholic, not sure where to start...

Oh mother...

posted 2 years ago in Emotional
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    1.
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    545 posts
    Busy bee
    poli2b    October 11, 2009   Aliso Viejo

    I think my mom is totally off her rocker. A little bit of history: She's on permanent disability and sometimes experiences limited mobility. Sometimes she has to take pain meds and she's on thyroid medication. I've heard that having thyroid problems can affect your personality, but sometimes it's hard to tell with her. She's always had a short fuse.

    The last couple of weeks were really bad. She straight up hung up on me anytime we had a disagreement and she called my MOH a 'cheap little bitch' because my MOH didn't make my mom a keepsake invitation for my upcoming bridal shower. Seriously, I had to get my dad involved to mediate. He says she's really moody and impatient at home too and that it seems to be getting worse as the wedding draws closer.

    Then today, she calls me to tell me she purchased a wig to wear at the wedding because she was afraid of having a bad hair day. I'm sorry but that just seems really strange to me because she has pretty hair.

    I'm concerned about her emotional state right now - especially at the wedding. Will she be normal or crazy?

     
    2.
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    Helper bee
    morgan_e_johnson    June 19 2010   chicago

    i know how you feel

    sorry.. i hope she will be normal

     
    3.
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    879 posts
    Busy bee
    oyster    July 2010   Dallas

    I think the answer is that you can't know for sure. Whether it's her personality or a medical issue, either way you can't predict. Yes, she might go crazy, or the solemnity of the day will help her realize that she needs to be nice. The best thing to do is to let go of it... that is, worrying about it will not affect the outcome either way. If you can distance yourself from your mother's reactions, it will matter less and less to you.

    I would say appoint someone (maybe your dad?) to keep an eye on her throughout the wedding and help calm her down if things get out of hand. Then go on with your wedding & with your life, and focus as much as you can on your own happiness and on your husband.

     
    4.
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    Bee Keeper
    RecessionistaBride    January 28, 2012  

    My grandmother sometimes behaves the same way- but thats because she has dementia & gets thoroughly confused. There's nothing that you can really do. It will be an emotional day for her though, so you probably do need someone who can help her if she gets too upset. Maybe one of your siblings or your dad?

    You can't let her actions affect your day though. She is who she is & you just have to hope she will hold it together.

    Family situations can be so sticky sometimes. ((hugs)) 

     
    5.
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    Bee Keeper
    eloping    May 23, 2010  

    re the thyroid issues. i had graves disease and had 95% of my thyroid removed.... i can be a grumpy b**** because im in a grumpy mood not because of my lack of thyroid. symptons were extreme tiredness, very fast metabolism (lost heaps of weight), fast heartbeat

    i suspect your mum is being overwhelmed with alot of issues right now, could you add menopause to it as my mum went nuts when she went thru that

    i suggest you ask your mum last time she saw her doc and had a series of blood tests to see if she is on the correct levels of medications. i also suggest you give someone the task of watching her for your wedding day to head off any explosions

    goodluck!

     

     

     
    6.
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    Helper bee
    PlaidBride    05.22.2010  

    I'm dealing with an unstable mother situation too and have been for a very long time.  In fact, I think it will be 50-50 whether my mother will even come.  You can't change how someone acts.  If it's a general health issue, do what you can to make sure that your mother's doctor is made aware of it, but she still may be odd at your wedding.  Just know that your mother can show up with a chicken on her head and singing like Liza Minnelli and if you're married at the end of the day, you've accomplished what you set out to do.  Do what you can to minimize the likelihood of problems, but then just go on with your day.  I hope that things work out for you and your mother.

     

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