Post # 1
So, we are moving from renting a one bedroom, into a two bedroom to make some room for my office which at this point is my bedroom and it’s full of books. (Not ready to commit on buying a house yet). My Father-In-Law who always has to have his stamp of approval on anything (but we never request it or care about it) suggested us not to move anywhere in the city where there’s a lot of …. wait for it…. Black people! and if that wasn’t enough, we went out to eat chinese food on that same week, and he’s mocking the waiter’s accent WHILE ordering his food. We of course told him that was so uncalled for and that thanks to his amicable gesture, we would have other people’s saliva in our food, to say the least. I could go on and on about all the offensive stuff that he does, but I would just continue to make myself bitter and angry over the subject.
I’m not asking for any type of advice, this post was written with the intention of venting, (because I did marry this guy for life, so I’m just gonna have to suck it up) but if you are bored and feel like venting too about your Father-In-Law or Mother-In-Law or any other subject feel free!!
Post # 3
@amoret11: venting about racism is dangerous here girl! sorry, I hope he doesn’t embarrass yall too much!
Post # 4
@amoret11: To his face!? Jeez that’s cooold blooded. Lol, idk what to say other than that would annoy the crap out me too. Some people…
Post # 5
Ugh, how do people like that still exist in 2013?! It sounds like you’re good ignoring him though. I would have a problem.
Post # 6
@subtlebee: The OP hasn’t offended anyone, so I think she’s safe.
@amoret11: My family had also had an embarrassing incident at a Chinese restaurant. My aunt (who was a little tipsy) kept telling the Chinese waiter to “Speak Korean to her!” while pointing at my mom. He kept saying, “I’m not Korean,” but she just kept shouting, “Speak Korean to her! Why won’t you talk to her?!” My parents were dying and kept trying to shush her, but to no avail. They didn’t invite her out much after that.
Post # 7
@amoret11: Ugh…. that’s something my Future Father-In-Law would do, however, he wouldn’t be so bold as to make fun of the waiter in front of his face like that.
He’s super racist, but thankfully we don’t talk to him anymore (for other reasons, although the racism stems from the reason we don’t talk to him, ha).
Its really annoying and disrespectful… and just plain embarrassing. I feel for you.
Post # 8
Yikes, thats pretty bad! My SO is Chinese and while my grandma is not racist she says some things that are just a little werid. For the first couple years we were dating she would always make references to the (myth?) that Asians are all lactose intolerant. So when she would see him eating something with cheese in it she would ask how he was eating cheese say something along the lines of “Aren’t you lactose intolerant? All the Chinese people I know are.” For the record, no one in his family is lactose intolerant!
Post # 9
Eck, I hate people like that and unfortunately have many in my family. My mom broke us free of that but being raised in a super small town and family all born and raised for generations in that small town (I mean small like they didn’t start paving hardly any roads until the last 10-15 years and still many a dirt road) I unfortunately have KKK members in my family. Needless to say I haven’t seen them by choice EVER. My mom never brought us around them but I spent a lot of time with my Grandma and it’s her brothers and sisters and their children. Gross!
We went to a family reunion a little over 10 years ago. My mom brought her best friend and her best friends husband. The husband is white but looks hispanic (much like my brother) and the ENTIRE reunion the whole family was quiet and shooting horrible glances at him. I hate people like that. It made me really angry. I was a young teen and didn’t notice at the time, also didn’t know the horrible things they did to other people either, I found out when I got home.
If I ever saw them again I would at the very least tell them off, if not punch them in the face. It’s disgusting, I really wish I ran into them just to tell them off. And I’m a completely non confrontational kind of person.
Post # 10
I don’t think anybody has to “suck it up” when we’re talking about racism. All it takes for evil to prevail is for good people to stay silent. Good for you for calling him on it.
Post # 11
My Future Father-In-Law is super racist too. My FI’s brother is in a new bi-racial relationship and she also has a son and my Future Father-In-Law has said some VERY disgusting, racist remarks about their race. He’s the type of man that, no matter what, is always right. You cannot say anything to him because he will not listen and talk down to you, also. Ugh. I don’t know how I’m going to deal with having him as my Father-In-Law. My Mother-In-Law, BIL’s, and Fiance are so kind hearted…thank God they didn’t get the rude racist dickhead gene from their dad!
Post # 12
I don’t really tolerate racism or hate towards other people. We have both Greek and Japanese in our family from marriage, so people who decide to be naive and stupid and just run their mouth to us about different cultures often get an earful from me if they say the wrong thing. I’ve had it happen on a couple of occasions, especially people talking badly about the Japanese.
People need to grow up. It’s sad when their opinion makes them sound stupid when they think they are going to get everyone to agree with them.
Post # 13
I know how you feel because my Mother-In-Law and BIL is racist. Fortunately, it is only two of them on DH’s side. UGH.
Post # 14
@amoret11: HATE PEOPLE LIKE THAT! Keep putting him in his place!
Waiting for my half sisters to meet my man and make some STUPID racist comment… grrrrr.
Post # 15
- Wedding: June 2010 - parent's backyard
ugh. my grandmother used to say things that were considered “acceptable” back in her day, but only in private (not that that makes it ok). well, once when I was 5, I repeated something she said in front of a person who was the ethnicity that was being disrespected.
my parents were MORTIFIED.
Post # 16
@megz06: Yeah, we don’t tolerate it either. We always tell him how we don’t accept those comments in our lives and he really wants our approval and wants us include him in our lives but he seems to think that those things are ok to say, like he doesn’t see how he can offend people. We know that we may not be able to change him, but at least we let it be known that we don’t appreciate those comments.