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She's crazy hands down and I feel bad that she's making your dad feel bad.
I do'nt know, I think that's crazy. My FI had a cabin bachelor party with his buddies and I can't imagine my dad going - even though they get along totally great.
I just think of it like this: would I want my FI's mom at my bachelorette? Absolutely not, and I love her to death. But that's gal pal time. I would be weirded out having any parent at an event like that, even if it was pretty tame.
I don't think it's crazy for your mother to ask - but I do think it's crazy for her to insist. It is NOT typical for FOB's to go with the groom to a bachelor party. Is there anyway you can plan a 'guys' party with your FI, your dad - and maybe any siblings? Or, have your FI hang out with your dad for some 'guy' time?
Tell your mom to zip it!!!
Those are parties for your friends. Just tell her that because everyone else did it doesn't mean that even you personally condone it, and that FI's buddies are throwing it so they get to choose who's there.
I don't get how she doesn't understand that awkwardness... my dad wouldn't go in a million years to my FI's, and he's only in his mid 40s!
I didn't pick a choice because I think it depends on the situation. In your case, NO, FOB should not be invited. That sounds like a crazy guys gone wild time and FOB would be out of place.
In my FI's case, he's planning on having a golf/casino weekend. Best man (his brother) is clueless and FI's dad is helping to plan. He was always planning on inviting my dad and his dad. But they definitely won't be all sharing a room, and the dads will probably head back when it comes time for barhopping and such. There will be no strip clubs or anything involved because FI is not into it.
It definitely depends on the situation.
my fi is inviting my dad to the dinner part, but that's local so the dad's can leave while the boys go do their thing.
If the bachelor party were in your town and were not going to be outrageous, then I would say to invite him. However, under the circimstances, I'd say NO WAY! In Vegas, things tend to get more out-of-hand then anyone plans and I've been shocked before at hearing about bachelor parties that I thought would be conservative. No way would I want my Dad there and he is very open-minded and "hip" compared to most 70 year-olds. My parents actually hang out with some of our friends w/o us! If my FI were going to Vegas, I wouldn't want my Dad to go and he would understand.
It's the bachelor party: the bride doesn't have any say over the guestlist. Not your problem.
But of course, it is! So: tell your parents that your FI really wants to have a special night with his close, close, old friends from way, way back when and there will be inside jokes and already formed bonds and it would be way, way, way awkward for your dad to be there.
No, no, and no. Yes, sometimes grooms choose to do a low key steak dinner or whatever and in that case it might be appropriate. For a full-on bachelor party, though, no way!
I think this is a situation where you just have to put your foot down and be up front and honest. Tell your dad that FI loves him, but that it would be inappropriate for him to be there. Trust me, if your dad asks around at all other people will back that up.
My dad's going on FH's because they are golfing and everything, but I'm honestly sending him to make sure none of the groomsmen try to pull a fast one. Now that we're almost there, I don't think they will. But FH loves my dad and my brother is now going too. It will be almost a family thing since his dad and brother are groomsmen as well.
I wish I had advice for you, but it would definitely be awkward for your dad to be around all of that craziness.
Um, the gender parallel to that would be my FMIL attending my bachelorette party. Oh, hell no. Seriously. Hell. No.
@redherring...AAAAAAA!!! Noooooo! Ha ha, too funny. I heart my FMIL but she is a sweet, somewhat older woman from the country. NO way would this fly!
@redherring - Great point! My Mom and FMIL were invited to my first bachelorette party. I was trying to avoid having one since I got married on an island, but NO! my friends called ahead and made arrangements for the entertainment staff to do a striptease for my bachelorette party. Thank god my FI's Mom did not come but my Mom did, not knowing what was happening and it was not good. My friends coerced my Mom into dancing with the stripper!!! Bad, VERY BAD!!! THank God I do not have to worry about that this time around!
@arizonabride - Oh God. There are images that, once seen, can never be unseen.
probably not for your FI.
My dad did go to my husband's tho....but he wasn't into crazy debauchery so it was no big deal. In fact the only one who even mentioned going to a strip club was my dad :) they didn't go....
Oh, and they are doing a boys' thing the day before the wedding too - something chill for the men of both generations (so dads and groomsmen and my FI) to relax together before the rehearsal.
My sister this weekend asked me if it would be ok to invite my FMIL to my bachlorette party. I'm like... no do you see dad going to Rob's?
Then again, I'm having a naughty one and a nice one. I'm going to the strip club and some of the BM won't go to one, so I'm having one that just is going to the bars, so they all can go to my pre wedding partying events. So I guess techniquely I could invite the FMIL to the nice one.
But then again I don't know if it would be awkard or not for her to be partying with a bunch of girls who are in their mid 20s-high 20s.
I guess it depends on what you are doing for the bachlorette/ bachelor party. If's it's a golf game... then yeah... if it a night out of partying... then maybe not.
My dad went to the early part of my husband's, but it was low key.
Is it possible that if he is actually invited to go to Vegas to share a suite with a bunch of debaucherous thirtysomethings, he will just say no? So you could go through with the invite to make your mother feel better but not actually have to risk him saying yes?
Yea, I would say Hell to the no! I can't imagine my FMIL going to mine. She is very relegious, so I can't imagine the look on her face, if my bridesmaids took me to a male strip club. She would just die, haha.
I agree though, if it was just a little dinner outing, golf thing whatever, I think it wouldn't be such a big deal, but if they are going all out, then that could get super akward.
Um yeah, I think that's kind of weird! Your dad should definitely not go!
In my family/small town, it's natural to have FOB or MOG invited to the bachelor/bachelorette party. But that's usually because the bachelor/bachelorette party consists of renting an old school bus and going bar hopping. My FMIL is invited to my bachelorette party, but I don't think she's going. I don't think my dad will want to go to my FH's bachelor party, because it's going to be 2 hours from his home. But I think it totally depends on the situation, it's normal for us, so it works for us.
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My FI is having his bachelor party in Vegas with his best buddies. It will be debaucherous (within reason). I'm fine with this. But my mother thinks that the FOB is typically invited to the bachelor party, and is making m dad feel bad because he's not invited. My FI loves my dad, but doesn't want him at that weekend because (a) it's a bunch of his best friends, (b) they're all about 30 and my dad is almost 70 and (c) it's going to be somewhat debaucherous and that's awkward with your future FIL there, and (d) they're all sharing a suite. My mom says my dad has been invited to something like 30 bachelor parties in recent years (he's a fun guy) and she claims the FOBs were also invited to those parties.
So which one of us is crazy?