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So sorry to hear this. :( I really hope that it isn't endometriosis, or if it is you have the ability to conceive and manage it. You'll be in my thoughts!
EJS should chime in here for sure.
But just a note that even if you can't physically have children, it's not the end of the world in terms of a family. Adoption is such a great option.
My mom had endometriosis and a hysterectomy in her mid-30s. Luckily she had two children by then, but always wanted more. For my Dad, adoption was absolutely NOT an option. With FI, one of our first discussions about family was that he MUST be okay with adoption in order for us to be together. I have no idea if I can have children and it's very important to me that my husband will love and cherish a child that he didn't create and may very well look nothing like him.
Anyway, that was kind of a tangent, but just my two cents. I wish you good luck with your tests and such of course. I will say a little prayer for you that everything works out.
hot child- I am not against adoption at all. I know thier are options besides having biological children. I have always wanted a baby of my own that looks like me and fh, that has our traits and personalities. Its just an initial reaction when you learn that you might have endimetriosis and you might be infertile, its heart wrenching.
@MrsCox: I didn't mean to sound preachy. I guess because of my mom's problems I've prepared myself well in advance for this possiblity, knowing that my mom did not prepare.
I will tell you that my mom was diagnosed at age 24 (I think) They told her she probably wouldn't be able to have children. She went on to have me, which they said was a "miracle" and she had no chance for more. THEN she went on to have my sister :o)
thanks hotchild. I guess I should have prepared myself giving my family's history of it. I just always assumed "not me" . How much longer after your mom was diagnosed did she have children?
First off ((hugs)) to you, you are in my thoughts and prayers.
I know somewhat what you are going through. I have been having gynecological problems for the past year and a half and as soon as FI and I are married (and I have insurance) I am going to the doctor to get testing done. I am so scared that we will find out I am infertile. It is a really scary process.
Just know that your FI is going to support you no matter what and that is wonderful. You have a great support system and you will get through this no matter what happens.
I hope for the best for you and I will be praying for you.
I am so sorry you're going through this.
I have endometriosis, so I know a lot about it, and I just want to say the endometriosis does not automatically equal infertility. There is a higher risk of reproductive challenges that come with endometriosis, but still, that number is only about 30-40%. Also, within that group of 30-40%, a very high percentage of those people are successful using fertility treatments. I know that isn't ideal, but I'm just saying that even if you do have endometriosis, that doesn't mean that you won't be able to have a child.
I had surgery last year to remove all the areas of endometriosis, and my symptoms have dramatically improved since then. The surgery itself wasn't too painful, and I haven't had any problems since. It can come back, but there are cases where it doesn't, too.
I am also 24, and my doctor was not at all worried about the infertility issue, and so I won't be trying to have children until I'm good and ready. I just want you to know that even if your diagnosis is endometriosis, it isn't the end all be all of having children. There is hope, and it can be treated.
Thank you so much for sharing. I've been having similar fears recently because of similar symptoms and also a family history. My husband and I are planning to start trying to conceive later this year and I am scared. I have an appointment with my obgyn at the end of March and I plan to discuss with her...To add even more stress (and probably more information than I should share) my husband has what is called a varicolcele which is the highest cause of infertility in men. So if my fear is right about endometriosis plus this news today, our chances aren't looking so hot. We weren't planning to start trying until later in the year but now I'm thinking we should start sooner rather than later. Okay, thanks for letting me share...feels good to get that off my chest.
It was a few years. She had me at 25 and my sister at 27.
I think it's just important to have a partner that's okay with adoption. I was really surprised to hear that my dad was not, because he's a really easygoing and super-loving person. That's why that's so important to me.
But I would just take it one step at a time. It could be something totally else. You could have plenty of time to have kids. You could just have really super heavy ridiculous periods that could be fixed by another method. I will definitely keep my fingers crossed for you.
Just wanted to offer some support! I know that you are going through a tough time. Once you know more talk to your doctor more about your options regarding fertility and children.
I also think that there are other ways besides pregnancy to grow your family. I know you probably didn't mean it the way that it sounded but people who adopt do consider their children to be "their own". My siblings are adopted and I am my parents biological child. We were never treated differently. Some children grown under your heart, others grow in it, but the end result is the same, you become a parent.
Oh wow. I will definitely say a prayer! Reading your post made me tear up and I wish you the best of news that things are okay. Please keep us posted.
thank you ladies so much not only for the encouraging words but for all the wisdom and information.
I guess when you get news like that, that you automatically think of all the risks and what could potentially happen. Thanks for bringing me back down to reality. I am just scared/nervous/ not knowing whats in the future.
I know that fh would eventually be ok, because he is my other half and he supports me no matter what, but he reacted the same way that I did. omg infertility lol.
Ill just keep my fingers crossed and pray.
Okay somebody actually PM'd me this so I'd respond!
Here's the deal from what I've learned over the years. I've seen a reproductive specialist at an infertility clinic after my OBGYN realized i'd 'outgrown' her abilities. I've had endo since i was 19. My mom had her uterus taken out in her 40's it was so bad. She had trouble getting pregnant with me and my brother, too. It's hereditary for the most part and more common than you think. I used to have horrendous periods--vicodin for the pain, vomiting, complete incapacitation. Oh a box and a half of super plus tampons for 7 days, that was always nice. Severe constipation followed by diahhrea, too (isn't it weird that's a symptom?). Anyways, been there done that. My doc said it's likely b/c i had polyps or endo growing and spazzing out on my colon parts. Fun times.
The "test" for endo is a laparoscopy. I had my first one at 21. that took me 8 weeks to recover b/c i was under for 6 hours while they "cleaned me up". My last one, i was ok after day 4 b/c they didn't do any body scraping. Anyways, they told me it was so bad I needed to have kids immediately. By 22. Or else. I was a junior in college. DH was in Iraq so it didn't really work out. I had to freeze my reproductive cycle, they said.
They put me on lupron depo shots. Once a month every month. My insurance covered them all--at $900 a pop, I'm glad they did =]. It's like really intense birth control. Even birth control couldn't stop my periods. They kept coming with fierceness! Nothing could stop the river or the pain. But lupron did! It put me in menopsuase for 6 months. It "reset" my biological clock. Yes i went through menopause with the hot flashes and all that crap. It was pretty craptastic. I'd wake up naked sometimes--i just got too hot in my sleep and stripped! Kinda funny now. Oh gosh, my poor roommate, LOL. Anyways, I had bad mood swings and felt so strange from months 4-6. PMSy all the time. But i had zero periods, also, minus some mild spotting.
Anyways, after 6 months I went through a few more bcs and i settled on seasonique. I was on only progestrin, then only estrogen pills, but this seemed to work the best for me. I've been on it for about 2 years now and I can finally keep taking pills to stop my period. Back to back. Periods=scar tissue, so I don't want to bleed until I am ready to TTC. It's realy important I don't develop more scar tissue. I went from having a period every 2 months to every 3 months and now I think I'm on month 5, minus a little bit of spotting. It's not that bad.
But seriously. If you let endometriosis progress, it CAN turn into infertility. But now you KNOW you have it. Versus being 33 and being like "Hmm something is up". It has to completely wreck everything in your body though to render you infertile nowadays. Go see a reproductive endocrinologist. A specialist. Seriously. Have the vaginal ultrasound. They stick a big dildo-ey looking probe up you and see what things look like. Your body may be out of place like mine was--i had an ovary stuck to the left side of my body, way out in left field. They were able to put it back in its right place later. Also, that will tell you what your egg follicles look like. I have a low count. 3 on one side and 8 on the other. It's good to know this!!!! Then the laproscopy will tell you how much scar tissue you have and what your innerds look like. They can remove a lot of it surgically. Also, endo can make your inner parts "sticky". For me, my lower intestine had endo all over it and it made it stick to my bladder walls of my body. Gross, right? They just took it apart, put in some spongy mesh stuff, scraped off the tissue, and all was well. I went back for another "check up" laproscopy in December to take a look at my tubes. It completely disappered. wtf right? Well, my specialist thinks it's a combination of diet: (very low sugars, low carbs--also known as an 'antiinflammatory diet' because endo IS an inflammatory disease. i actually saw a medical nutritionist for a special no-endo diet) and all the birth control over the past years. I've been on ibuprofen for a long time, too, to keep the inflammation down. I get checked for gastritis symptoms, too. But that and the lupron really is when things turned out.
Also...even if you can't get pregnant naturally, seeing a fertility specialist IN a fertility clinic helped me realize it wasn't the end of the world. There are SOOOOOO many techniques to help you get pregnant. I got a packet like 2 inches thick to read. It is RIDICULOUS whta they can do. There is mini-IVF, there is IVF, there is clomid, i mean all kinds of stuff. Epsecially women with endometriosis! He said often the #1 problem we have is our fallopian tubes are scarred to hell. He says that even then, the eggs are good! So they just give you clomid, make you produce all these eggs, then syringe them out, fertilize them with the hubs' man goo, then implant them on your uterus themselves. It's not that women with endometriosis have trouble staying pregnant--they have trouble with the whole "egg travels to the uterus and implants itself" part.
PM me if you have any questions. I have researched the hell out of this topic, but this is really only my experience with it. My first doc said i was a "trainwreck" so I'm guessing it was pretty bad. I went to the Sher Clinic Now there isn't one in Maryland but there may be another speciality clinic nearby. Infertility Clinics seem to be on the downlow from what I gather. If not, this place is definitely worth looking into and traveling to. They are crazy with all the stuff they have available! They do a lot of egg freezing for cancer patients too.
Educate yourself more--I'm far far far less scared now, at 24, having met all these people and dealt with it so extensively than I was when I found out at 19 that i had this disease. It scared the crap out of me to be like "ok we need to start TTC at 24 cuz i could be infertile". There are just plenty of options and opportunities available nowadays to assist you.
Again, PM me if you have any questions about what I went through. It wasnt fun, but I wasn't about to pop out a kid in college, either.
Holy crap long message. Anybody reading it gets a lollipop =]
and if anybody pms me and i don't respond asap...it's cuz i'm getting my hair did today =P
My sister has endometriosis and was diagnosed in her late 20's, after many years of symptoms. At the time one of her doctors said that she would need to have one of her ovaries removed but she got a second opinion and ended up not having to do that.
She ended up having one daughter through IVF when she was 31. Not only that, at age 35 she got pregnant naturally, without even trying, and now she has a son too! (not that it was an immaculate conception, but I mean: they weren't trying to get pregnant. She didn't even think she could get pregnant on her own!). I don't mean to minimize your fears, but just to echo what everyone above me has said-- that a diagnosis of endometriosis (if that's even what you have!) doesn't equal infertility.
ejs- thank you so so so much for your input. (thats so funny someone pm'd you!) Its funny (well not really) that reading the symptoms you had, i have. I have been to the gyno since I was 11 years old because of the awful nightmarish cycles I have always had. I used to be on naproxen in high school because it was so bad until they found out I had an ulcer in my stomach. then they just took it away without giving me somethign else. I have a bottle of tylenol stocked in my cabinet at all times.
It just got to the point where my entire life stopped when I would get my period because of how bad it was. Its reassuring to know that Im not the only one out there with a monster in my ovaries/uterus.
I just need to relax and see whats going on before I get all razzled. Thank you so much everyone for all your information and kind words.
Once you get it under control you'll get your life back.
I feel silly now that it took me until age 19 to get diagnosed. I've been menstruating since i was 11 and it was ALWAYS like this. MOm said "oh it's normal" but it turns out it was normal for US!!!
Gah. Stupid Ovary Monster...=]
You've received some really great advice. I just wanted to chime in that a good friend has endo, had surgery for it and is now pregnant with her 2nd baby (no IVF needed). There's definitely hope! Just try to be calm until the doctor can find out what is all going on and then figure things out from there.
haha stupid ovary monster!
yea my mom always would say "poor thing, I know how it feels" yea well you didnt tell me it was something serious!!! now here I am 25, thinking this is normal when in reality, my body is screaming that this isnt normal. thanks mom lol.
I just love weddingbee. Only the hive! you ladies are always so full of encouragement and information! thank you thank you thank you
I don't have a lot to add (EJS - you covered it well!) but I just wanted to offer my support. Its so great that you are tackling this now, and like some have mentioned, although its possible that you are infertile, its NOT a definite. My cousin has endo and is trying to get pregnant now. She's just started "trying" and like some have mentioned here, there are lots of options if it doesn't happen for you "naturally" right away. Her mom conceived her with endometriosis, so she's holding onto the hope that pregnancy is still an option for her. Good luck to you and your SO.
Oh honey!!! Please don't despair. As others have noted, endo does not equal infertility. My mother struggled with it for years but was able to conceive twice. You'll get through this ((hugs))
I'm so sorry. My roommate has very severe endometriosis, among a host of other things (lupus, cancer, etc). I know from living with her how hard it is to deal with. Ive been with her through some very hard times. She was still able to conceive even though she has a very, very severe case.
I really hope that things go well for you. I will keep my fingers crossed that you will still be able to have some healthy babies!
I'm loving all the information you have received. Is it just me, or does today call for a stress free evening with a good movie, some dessert and some wine?! I think you need to suggest that to your dear hubbie :D
I really feel for your situation right now. I have endometriosis, so I know exactly how you feel. I have struggled with all of the symptoms you described since I was about 16. I went to the gyno all the time, tried all different types of birth controls... it was ridiculous. I tended to get lucky with the stabbing kinds of pain because the timing of it seemed to occur when I was at home, so I could handle it better. However, I was at work one day when it happened and my boss found me unconscious on the bathroom floor (sometimes the pain is so severe I guess my body copes with it by knocking me out). My mom went to the gyno with me and demanded that I be tested for endo and they finally listened. I had the laparascopy right away and sure enough I wasn't crazy and overexaggerating my pain as I had been accused of in the past. I was so afraid I wasn't going to be able to have children as well, but just breathe! Endometriosis does not = infertility. I was lucky because the endo had not grown on areas that would prevent pregnancy.
Even if you have horribly severe pain, you may only have a very small amount of endo. Endometriosis is very tricky because some women have it severely, yet they never feel pain from it whereas other women may have tiny patches of it and have very severe pain. You need to demand the laparascopy. They will remove the endo (mine used lasers to burn the areas) and afterward continuous birth control with higher dosages (I use the nuva ring because it has more medication in it) will help prevent you from menstrating. Every once in awhile I still do and I get terrified that it is growing inside me every time I have my period, but you can't let it drive you crazy thinking about it.
After my laparascopy I was perfectly pain free. But within recent months the pain is coming back... I was full time in college and worked about 20 hours a week. This semester I opted not to take courses and I even quit my job because the stress of always having to call in and skip school was impossible and debilitating last semester. My wedding is in May - I wanted to make sure I could take the time to focus on my health.
Just remember to demand that your doctor take this situation very seriously. I don't know what tests your doctor has you taking, but do remember that endo is not always present on things like ultrasounds. Prior to my diagnosis they spent so much time giving me these tests and saying that they couldn't see anything. Then of course after 3 years of that I finally had the surgery and it was there all along, just wasn't visible on their scans. If you need any advice or any help or have any questions about this disease at all feel free to message me. Endometriosis has become a huge part of my life and I would love to be able to connect with other endo sisters! :)
I was like ejs...I was diagnosed at a young age, but it took them fooooorrrrreeeeevvvver to diagnosis it (was finally diagnosed at 17). Every doc I went to kept telling me I was way too young to have it and tried every combination of pill possible to go away and none of it worked. It was the most miserable several years of my life. Thankfully, for the most part, since I had the surgery I have been fine. I have my flare ups here and there, but it's 100% more managable now.
As for the fertility, it's always at the back of my mind if I'll be able to have kids or not. I know the longer I wait, the scarier my odds get....so it's a wait and see for my husband and I right now.
EJS---I'm waiting for my lollipop. Anything but grape peeeez....
I hope you ladies find a way to make your dream family happen. This just doesn't seem fair.... It's so damn hard being a woman.
thank you ladies for your boat loads of information as always. I always seem to find comfort from my fellow hive. My apt is set for the 22nd, so keep your fingers crossed!
Again thank you!
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I.am.freaking.out. (might be TMI for some)
I have always been proned to really really bad menstrual cycles. My mom has endometriosis and had to have both ovaries removed shortly after giving birth to my younger brother. My 2 aunts also have it and 1 of my cousins. It apparantly is normal in my family. The past year, It has gotten worse to the point where my whole life stops for a week and I feel like I am dying (no exageration). Migraines, throwing up, severe cramps, leg cramps, constipation before the menstrual, diarhea during, fever, nausea, the whole shabang. It gets to the point where I cant do anything but lay in bed.
When I moved an hr away from my normal OB, I went to a diff doc. I have been going there for a year. The symptoms seemed to be getting worse, every month I was calling in tears. The only thing the did was put me on birth control to where I only menstruate every 3 months. That didnt fix anything. I BEGGED them to test me for endo. They refused because of my age. So I finally called my normal doc and bite the bullet for an hr drive and went to see her.
I went to the doc today because of yet again, another awful cycle. She wants to test me for endiometriosis, she said I have all the symptoms and given my family history, she thinks that might be the case. Endiometriosis= infertility! I want babies so bad. But I was dead set on waiting to after college only because I work full time and go to school full time, squeezing a child into all that would be a nightmare. She said if I do have endiometriosis, I should try to concieve, ASAP, before it gets worse.
I am only 24 (25 in 2 months). I have no children and wasnt planning on it until after college (2 more years).
ugh. She is scheduling me for a run of test in a few weeks. I could cry. I told my Fh, tears welded up in his eyes. He has been begging for a child for years. If I cant bear a child for him, its going to break his heart. I know, he will be ok and support me no matter what, but deep down, I know it will crush him.
Ladies- PLEASE PRAY. Pray that it isnt endiometriosis, pray that if it is, it isnt to the point where I am infertile, pray that it isnt too late to have children.